Today, my boyfriend rather stupidly assumed that because my vagina is no longer in use after giving birth, we would automatically start having anal sex. After I loudly explained how that wasn't happening, he then had the nerve to ask for a blowjob before we'd even left the hospital. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while discussing having sex for the first time with my boyfriend, I asked what method of birth control we should use. He replied, "Anal." FML
Today, while discussing having sex for the first time with my boyfriend, I asked what method of birth control we should use. He replied, "Anal." FML
Today, my boyfriend got upset that I wouldn't give him head. He was visiting me at the hospital. FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend if he could finally go down on me. He said, "No, that's disgusting" and then asked me for a blowjob. FML
Today, after months of a very healthy sex life with my boyfriend, he asked me to let him try anal. I'm dead-set against it, so I tried to let him down easy by jokingly saying that I would, but only if he let me try it on him first. He said, "Sure." Fuck. FML
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend repeatedly whispering in my ear, "You want to give me a blowjob". Yes, he actually thought it would work. FML
Today, my boyfriend asked me for a blow job. After I said "no" over ten times, he decided to get up and slap me across the face with his penis. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He responded by asking for a blowjob. FML
Today, I was feeling frisky and asked my boyfriend if he wanted a blowjob. He said, "Fuck no", then rolled over to go to sleep. FML
Today, after a year of coaxing, I got my boyfriend of 18 months to agree to have sex with me. He decided his first course of action was to try to shove his flaccid penis into my unlubricated vagina. FML
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Top comments
allred1997 19
Tell him he's had to use his hand before, he can use it again
xxkrystalxx 14
She just carried his child for 9 months, and gave birth to it. HE should be taking care of her and make her happy.
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Comments (90)
mattrd_fml 31
what's wrong with anal? don't knock til you tried it! or tell him he can do it if you can use a strap on on him first!
shinikageWolf 15
Tell him anal sex is fine. Then strap on a big black ***** and bend him over.
CarouselHeart 11
Looks like you kind of rushed into having a baby with this guy.
LadyAstrid 5
this will be a conversation I have to have with my boyfriend at the end of the month. I promised I'd still give him blow jobs, just, not as often or as well as he'd like haha.
00749200 14
**** that don't be a bitch my wife does anal after our children are born every time
KrDizzy 16
I think this is why a lot of women eventually stop putting out after marriage and kids. It's all starting to make sense now. You guys haven't even left the hospital yet after having a baby, and that's what he's concerned about. Sad...FYL for marrying and having a kid with this douche.
YesIamjudgingU 4
Yeah, the minute you used the terms "my boyfriend" and "after giving birth" in the same FML, I lost total interest in your story.
ukrainerep 2
And this is the father of your child?
zr11990 8
Maybe you should have waited and gotten to know him better before you ****** him in the first place or at least before you got knocked up. He sounds like a real douche
cannbend 11
Maybe next time pick a smarter one to reproduce with.