Today, my boyfriend rather stupidly assumed that because my vagina is no longer in use after giving birth, we would automatically start having anal sex. After I loudly explained how that wasn't happening, he then had the nerve to ask for a blowjob before we'd even left the hospital. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while discussing having sex for the first time with my boyfriend, I asked what method of birth control we should use. He replied, "Anal." FML
Today, while discussing having sex for the first time with my boyfriend, I asked what method of birth control we should use. He replied, "Anal." FML
Today, my boyfriend got upset that I wouldn't give him head. He was visiting me at the hospital. FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend if he could finally go down on me. He said, "No, that's disgusting" and then asked me for a blowjob. FML
Today, after months of a very healthy sex life with my boyfriend, he asked me to let him try anal. I'm dead-set against it, so I tried to let him down easy by jokingly saying that I would, but only if he let me try it on him first. He said, "Sure." Fuck. FML
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend repeatedly whispering in my ear, "You want to give me a blowjob". Yes, he actually thought it would work. FML
Today, my boyfriend asked me for a blow job. After I said "no" over ten times, he decided to get up and slap me across the face with his penis. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He responded by asking for a blowjob. FML
Today, I was feeling frisky and asked my boyfriend if he wanted a blowjob. He said, "Fuck no", then rolled over to go to sleep. FML
Today, after a year of coaxing, I got my boyfriend of 18 months to agree to have sex with me. He decided his first course of action was to try to shove his flaccid penis into my unlubricated vagina. FML
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Top comments
allred1997 19
Tell him he's had to use his hand before, he can use it again
xxkrystalxx 14
She just carried his child for 9 months, and gave birth to it. HE should be taking care of her and make her happy.
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Comments (90)
xtalondriver 14
Wtf ever happened to getting married first?
sarahlwatson24 6
You need a new BF. He sounds like an insensitive dick.
cameronraygun 11
did you give him one? ;)
djstiv3 15
you picked a real winner.. he just wants to keep winning
bandaidstations 28
There's nothing wrong with anal sex if both parties are into it. You say you would rather suck dick like that's a negative thing also. I feel bad for your partner because it seems like you have no sense of adventure in bed.
kayspeakerb1tch 2
You should of said yes and bit it.
limitles 14
Before you left the hospital? Terrible! A few weeks later asking for some oral may be acceptable, but nit so soon, and not until you're up for it.
alaskanessy 8
He obviously believes your only good for one thing. Jerk.
millsjoshua949 12
You had a child with this idiot? ydi
Hangryko 32
I hope you dumped the manchild.