Today, my boyfriend rather stupidly assumed that because my vagina is no longer in use after giving birth, we would automatically start having anal sex. After I loudly explained how that wasn't happening, he then had the nerve to ask for a blowjob before we'd even left the hospital. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while discussing having sex for the first time with my boyfriend, I asked what method of birth control we should use. He replied, "Anal." FML
Today, while discussing having sex for the first time with my boyfriend, I asked what method of birth control we should use. He replied, "Anal." FML
Today, my boyfriend got upset that I wouldn't give him head. He was visiting me at the hospital. FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend if he could finally go down on me. He said, "No, that's disgusting" and then asked me for a blowjob. FML
Today, after months of a very healthy sex life with my boyfriend, he asked me to let him try anal. I'm dead-set against it, so I tried to let him down easy by jokingly saying that I would, but only if he let me try it on him first. He said, "Sure." Fuck. FML
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend repeatedly whispering in my ear, "You want to give me a blowjob". Yes, he actually thought it would work. FML
Today, my boyfriend asked me for a blow job. After I said "no" over ten times, he decided to get up and slap me across the face with his penis. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He responded by asking for a blowjob. FML
Today, I was feeling frisky and asked my boyfriend if he wanted a blowjob. He said, "Fuck no", then rolled over to go to sleep. FML
Today, after a year of coaxing, I got my boyfriend of 18 months to agree to have sex with me. He decided his first course of action was to try to shove his flaccid penis into my unlubricated vagina. FML
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Top comments
allred1997 19
Tell him he's had to use his hand before, he can use it again
xxkrystalxx 14
She just carried his child for 9 months, and gave birth to it. HE should be taking care of her and make her happy.
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Comments (90)
Fett143 3
I feel for you clearly that is an inappropriate time for your man to ask that of you. My question is did you give him something while you were pregnant? I mean any contact? Because either he is starving for your attention or he is being a jerk. Only you can decide.
kfchicken 31
dunno why you down voted, people love to hate. I agree if op ignored his sexual desire for 9 months and he stayed loyal to her then I can see why he's so desperate and YDI, on the other hand if op did give him some sexual relief then he's being a douch
kaotic_angel88 24
No, we can also decide, the guy is being a jerk.
thatonetribute 31
He asked her for a ********, AT THE HOSPITAL! I'm guessing everybody that thinks this is justified is a man. He can suck himself. She needs time to recover
Badkarma4u 17
Sex after birth is a topic that is discussed with the doctor after delivery. So chances are the husband didnt bring it up. Its even suggested that they can do other things.The doctor brings this up.
Unenunciable 14
What about period sex? If I'm not feeling like giving a ******* but I'm up for period sex, and he's not into that, that's not MY problem! And what you were saying before, #61, about a lot of people thinking women "owe" men sex, I'm going to argue that it's also the other way around, that a lot of people also think women are "owed" sex by men in the relationship. I think the reason so many believe this is that they've been pumped full of this myth of people being unable to control themselves, so if "your needs aren't met in the relationship", you will "end up going elsewhere, and it will be your fault", so they think you "owe" your partner something. Which you obviously don't.
kfchicken 31
that's not what I'm saying, I'm saying she is kind of at fault IF and ONLY IF she didn't get intimate with him at all throughout the 9 months. And yes no one is entitled to anything but when your a couple you both have to look after each others needs, 9 months is almost a year and lets face it your relationship would seem a bit lack luster if you and your SO didn't get intimate for that long. HOWEVER of they did have intimate moments then its 100% the guys fault.
FlowerMama 20
There are some women who lose any and all sex drive while pregnant. They can't help it, not even the tiniest bit. This is NOT their fault. So when they work their ass off growing a human for nine long months, the last thing in the equation, as far as sex after birth is concerned, should be how long the poor poor man has gone without sex. Part of being in a relationship is understanding that the other person's needs must sometimes supersede your own. Like, y'know, when your wife/girlfriend has just pushed your baby out of her ****** - or even worse, been cut open for a cesarean - sex is nearly always going to be the LAST thing on her mind! She's much more likely to be focused on how sore and exhausted she is, possibly recovering from one or more tears to her most intimate region, and dealing with a tiny, needy human with more lungpower than a squad of cheerleaders and a gnawing hunger that has them up more frequently than anyone can be expected to endure and still stay sane. But hey, the guy needs sex, right? No.
xxkrystalxx 14
Vaginas are cool in the fact that they will go back to normal fairly quickly, considering you just pushed a baby out of it. He can wait. And while he waits, he can be taking care of you and making sure you are happy and comfortable.
Talis99 26
If he asked for a ******* in the hospital, there's no way this fool knows how to take care of another.
FMLusername969 21
Maybe he was just incredibly attracted to you after watching you being mommy to his child and didn't know how to articulate his feelings sympathetically . A new baby is stressful on the new mom but it's stressful for the new dad as well. Not to mention all of your attention that used to be focused on him is now focused on your little one. Give him a break...he just wants to feel close to you.
Talis99 26
You are way optimistic there...
xx000o 27
Giving him a break should not have to include any oral or anal related activities. Letting him live might be a possibility.
laurelfire 15
I don't know, I don't think I'll ever look at someone being an awesome parent to my child and think "I wanna **** you up the ass."
amtapps 17
maybe so, but not in the ******* hospital JUST AFTER giving birth to a child!!! I couldn't imagine how irrate I would be if someone asked that of me. However, I do like your optimism! lmao
demix_fml 32
Jerk !
amileah13 26
He's clearly only concerned about himself and his needs right then. Hey, I get it everyone should be happy but for cripes sake you just had his kid and carried it around for nine months before giving birth! I think that's bs how he's treating you. I hope he doesn't treat the child like he does with you :(
Brandi_Faith 34
His wants, not needs. Sex isn't an need.
Uuuuxc 7
you're physiologically wrong
Scorpio01 16
A little too impatient.. Isn't he?
BeenIt 5
You had a baby with this guy?
Xion0014 20
What the hell is wrong with your boyfriend?
fleur_de_fevrier_fml 23
wow, so instead on focusing on the overwhelming life change that is parenthood, he wants to make sure he is going to get laid? Hope for your sake and the baby's that's it's a temporary lapse of sanity on his part and not his normal personality
00749200 14
Your stupid
fpants2010 18
My son's father did the exact same thing! He cheated on me within the first week home from the hospital - I've been doing the single mom thing for 5 years now. Hopefully your boyfriend grows up and focuses on what's important! Congrats on your little one, OP!
thatonetribute 31
Good luck to you, ma'am. I'm sorry you had to go through that.
fpants2010 18
Thank you! So far, so good :) his loss, he's missing out on a beautiful boy.
OptimusSlime 23
I love seeing women like you who don't constantly mope about being ditched or cheated on. I love it when women rise up and move forward like you did. I love it when women are strong.
00749200 14
Your stupid to