Today, I brought a cute guy back from the bar to have sex. He was drunk, so he had trouble getting it up, and I said jokingly, "You need to work on that." We fell asleep, and I woke up the next morning to him gone and a note that said, "You need to work on not farting in your sleep." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I woke myself up by farting in my sleep, only to realize that the guy I'd brought home from the bar was still next to me. He was awake. FML
Today, my boyfriend fell asleep while watching TV. I thought it would be cute to try to kiss him awake like they do in the movies. He farted. FML
Today, I met a great guy at the bar, and we went back to my place. He left before I woke up, leaving a badly-scrawled note saying, "Gone to work, call me!" I couldn't make out the number. FML
Today, while my boyfriend was asleep, I gave him a soft kiss and whispered how handsome and gentle he looked. His response, still asleep, was to roll over and let out a massive fart. FML
Today, I woke up when the guy I had spent the night with slid out of bed. When he realized I was awake, he looked down at me, shook his head, and said "I've gotta lay off the beer..." FML
Today, a cute guy approached me at a nightclub. I was really excited, until he drunkenly slurred, "Babe, I'd suck the farts from your asshole!" and then threw up everywhere. FML
Today, I tried to wake my boyfriend up to sex. When I went to touch his penis, he elbowed me in the face, mumbled an apology and began snoring again. FML
Today, my husband got drunk, which was bad enough, but then he got me to the point where I wanted sex too, so I let him climb aboard. He was inside me for 3 thrusts and then stopped. He’d fallen asleep, so I pushed him off me, mad as hell, then he farted and shit a little bit. I married this twat. FML
Today, my boyfriend kept falling asleep while he was at my house with me. I tried to have sex with him to help wake him up, but he said he was too tired and fell back asleep. Five minutes later, my friend walks in the room with food. He woke up from the smell and got up to get some for himself. FML
Today, I was finally having sex with the man of my dreams, and then he fell asleep on top of me. FML
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Top comments
ffpoisongirl 0
Come on honey, never insult a guy about his downstairs mixup. He'll lash out. No offense, but YDI.
LuckyCharms_fml 0
He was just pissed off his junk was malfunctioning
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Comments (183)
xxcashmoney100 0
hoe
glitchedgamer 0
YDI for being a ***** who finds random drunk guys to have sex with.
CharlotteSometim_fml 0
Haha. Gross. Completely deserved, though.
AliciaMeow 12
A lot of people can pass gas while asleep. It's whether or not it's loud that matters lol
brennaaa13 11
****
sammyjo06 14
Why is it so bad to **** someone because it's fun? As long as you're safe about it and wear a condom, it's not a big deal...
withered 30
Intent makes all the difference. Scene 1: You go out, have fun with someone you like, you both drink, end up having sex - fine. Scene 2: You go out, you purposely look for drunk people that are barely self aware. You buy them even more drinks with INTENT to put them in a state where they won't be able to turn you down. Possibly in a state of unconsciousness - RAPE. Just like it is a completely different scenario if you hit a pedestrian on a road by accident or you purposely drive into one. The end result is same but in one case you are clearly a psychopath.
ProperPengTing 15
Soul ties are deadly
Mcstud1y 30
You understand you could be sued for him being drunk
slowlearner 14
You both would have made a perfect couple.
ZiaBerry 20
Trying to hook up with someone that's drunk is basically considered rape.
withered 30
You clearly hit the spot by commenting his "manhood". Farting is something all of us do. No big deal. If that is all he had as a comeback...