Today, my boyfriend kept falling asleep while he was at my house with me. I tried to have sex with him to help wake him up, but he said he was too tired and fell back asleep. Five minutes later, my friend walks in the room with food. He woke up from the smell and got up to get some for himself. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while trying to rouse my sleeping boyfriend for some morning sex, he came. FML
Today, my boyfriend fell asleep while still giving me oral sex. FML
Today, I wanted to have sex with my boyfriend, but he kept falling asleep while I was giving him a handjob. Ugh, no sex. FML
Today, my boyfriend fell asleep while watching TV. I thought it would be cute to try to kiss him awake like they do in the movies. He farted. FML
Today, I went to my boyfriend's house. Expecting to get a little action, I was surprised to find that he had fallen asleep while I was showering. I spent my night watching television and browsing the internet while he snored. Loudly. FML
Today, while my boyfriend was going down on me, he fell asleep right between my legs. The worst part was I only noticed when he started snoring. FML
Today, I fell asleep while my boyfriend and I were having sex. What's worse is that he didn't even notice. FML
Today, I was having really great sex with my boyfriend. I was on top and he seemed like he was really enjoying it. Then, I realized he'd fallen asleep. FML
Today, my boyfriend fell asleep during phone sex. FML
Today, I tried to wake my boyfriend up to sex. When I went to touch his penis, he elbowed me in the face, mumbled an apology and began snoring again. FML
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Top comments
arcticdoctorwho 0
The way to a man's heart is through his stomach.
kkmwong 11
Food first, sex second.
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Comments (197)
tmaster102 0
Fail
SCREAM4meeee 0
But the food will give him the energy he needs to have sex
tmaster102 0
Eat a footlong get a footlong haha
UMad_Bro 3
Or you can put the food on yourself and have him eat it off you.
tmaster102 0
Don't forget the main course
flockz 20
my top fantasy is sex in a pool of jello. mmmm
flockz 20
my top fantasy is sex in a pool of jello. mmmm
ripgeorgecarl1n 7
Unless he was gonna finish in under 5 minutes, it's probably good you guys weren't having sex when your friend came in.
Keyman1212 14
Fastest way to a man's heart is through his stomach. Your friend gets it!
FurryPride 9
He has his priorities in good order, what seems to be the problem?
KiddNYC1O 22
#4- I wouldn't be so sure. Food can be a potent sleep aid.
SammIght 7
Was it bacon?;)
cookie_3008 4
Ouch!! but see it this way... his friend would have walked in anyway. Im sure you would be complaining aswell if his friend had seen you two having sex.
cookie_3008 4
Ok. OP's friend. ^_^ "mah bad".
a_nutritionist 10
oh no, he didnt have sex with you this one time cos he was extremely tired, what is the world coming to?! ydi.
theunknowned 1
make a sandwich
Bethawny 0
silly, he was hungry. DAW!
Deathhound 27
Haha, obviously :)
sabresrock 0
Total FAIL
ck11_fml 1
you're comparing the amount of energy it takes to eat with the amount of energy it takes to have sex? maybe if you just lie there while he does all the work, then it's pretty comparable for you. not so much for him
grapisy 8
Shoulda just made him a sammich.
Turner_22 0
You should make ME a sandwich.
bullrider92 19
Her friend did it instead.Maybe she knows him better than op.
VaGino432 0
am I the only one who instantly thought her boyfriends a stoner? lol dude was on one and hungry as ****. doesn't explain why he wasn't down to **** tho, dudes probably gay. even though weed's a muscle relaxer you can still give a girl the D.
arcticdoctorwho 0
The way to a man's heart is through his stomach.
Millman_fml 9
Words of wisdom #3!
icefshng8 9
Agree. I would do the same thing
Michael_Kelso 0
Eating takes less energy than sex, so I get where he's coming from.
arcticdoctorwho 0
-72 Great name! 70s show was awesome.
5chadenfreude 6
Amen!
lolman222 0
I disagree... I would take sex over food any day.
deadrising084 1
What about sex and food?
Justincolon22 15
Lol nice
flamegrilled123 3
3- you're aiming way too high
maj28 0
@10, getting lewd with the food.
trumpet27 1
That is what I said. lol
Icejza_DaChilla 7
The way to a mans heart is with a sammitch. First food, then ****, duh
animalover721 3
A mans gotta eat what a mans gotta eat! You can't make love with an empty stomach! That's like trying to talk without a voice!
Notimetobleed 14
Wtf, if his friend walked in 5 minutes later, shouldn't she be glad that he didn't walk in on them?
dmw25 0
Just stop, its not ignorance. Your just lonely
Weetart 8
I guess ignorance is bliss. He ignored Op's feeble attempts at making love, and was in the end paid off with food. Mhhm Lol
B3Y0ND 3
That's not the correct usage of the quote..
aFatFuck 0
Please know the use of the saying and the definition of ignorance before you use it. It makes you sound IGNORANT to the English language.
Weetart 8
Oh my bad people. Chill. I used the phrase wrong. I get it.
kkmwong 11
Food first, sex second.
Emzixxx 0
Yes
Icejza_DaChilla 7
I just said that >.>
imustbeinsane 2
Yea i bet she wouldnt want him thinking of food as he made love to her
minisquid 9
He was tired because of lack of calories. Why do you think guys demand sammiches? It's not out of disrespect, it's instinct. Stupid OP...
Ashelizabethh 8
Noo sex thenn food.. Dont you know hpw it works!? Sex. Boy plays ps3. Girl makes food. More sex. Duhhh.
spd2fst4u 5
I want to marry you!!!!!
spd2fst4u 5
I want to marry you please!!!
Emzixxx 0
Sucksx
xmayne 0
If that didn't happen her friend would have walked in on them
creedaddict 9
Do like I do .... If it's hard take it from him while he sleeps ... Hell he does it to me
tmaster102 0
Not the thing that should be happening haha
shoopd 19
Even creepier coming from someone with the name "creedaddict"...
TheNewGuy03 29
...Huh?!
newjerseyguy 0
I think she means she doesn't care if he is sleeping. If his dick is hard she gets her sex no matter if he's awake or if he is sleeping.
rhysfucker 24
If u want my address please let me know, oh Queen of Dominatrum...
paleontologist 8
Uhh, that would be rape. I'm incredulous at the people thumbing up your comment. What the ever-loving ****.
Dodge4x4Ram 46
an old fashion works too
aztaroth_fml_fml 0
you should find a hornier boyfriend or put some food on your pond
dmw25 0
Just stop, your trying to hard
xxCxx123 0
Funny