Today, I drove my drunk sister home after a wild night of partying. She did not go to bed as I expected; instead, she laid in the bathtub and cried every time I left her. Now it's 3AM, and she's using her bra as a lasso for various objects in the room. The best part is I work in 4 hours. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my drunk sister threw up on me while I was sleeping. FML
Today, I was trying to go to sleep when I heard my sister come home from the bar. I fell asleep and woke up an hour later to see my sister squatting in my dresser drawer. I asked her what she was doing and she said "I'm peeing." FML
Today, I had to go pick up my mother at 3 in the morning. She had been out drinking and couldn't drive. She parties more than I do. FML
Today, my drunk sister came in my room at 2 in the morning, sat on the side of my bed, fell off, knocked over my glass of water, which ruined my new phone, then got angry at me for getting angry with her. She then slammed my door, which made all the photo frames smash to the ground. FML
Today, I finally got to come home after hours spent in a locked down ER after a car accident. My injuries were non life-threatening, but pretty damn painful. I asked my sister to pick up my pain meds from the pharmacy for me. She got drunk and "lost them", AKA gave them to her dirtbag boyfriend. FML
Today, I brought a girl home from the bar. After sleeping together, she drunkenly stumbles to the bathroom to wash up. On her way back, she accidentally walks into my parents' room, turns on the lights and asks where her clothes are before figuring it out. FML
Today, I went back home. My drunk mother was screaming at my drunk step-dad about a fight that happened four years ago. My little sister was looking in the mirror practicing her "orgasm face", while the neighbors were dancing outside, coked out and naked. FML
Today, I had to pick up and drive home a couple of drunk bitches. Unfortunately, one of these drunk bitches was my mother. FML
Today, it's 2:23 in the morning, and my drunken girlfriend has just rung me up from a party where she's the only girl there. She seems to be having a great time. FML
Today, I'm exhausted. For the second time, my fiancé and I have pulled my future sister-in-law off the pavement naked and drunk at 3 a.m. and couldn't find the purse or glasses she had with her. She’s hungover and has completely blacked out what happened. Never again giving her a place to crash. FML
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Top comments
allard 14
Atleast you're being a good brother, and looking after her. Could've been Alot worse.
clumsychik 1
She'll pass out eventually.
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Comments (134)
dead247 13
Sounds like your morning has been quite eventful. At least you're not cleaning up vomit, yet. On another note she is being very resourceful with her bra.
naddification 7
Or her bra.
insanexnh 13
If she's drunk, she should pass out pretty soon. Just put something there to take your place. BTW, you're an amazing brother.=]
kzxvazure 0
don't worry, you're being a really good brother for staying with her
ryggsekk 8
pour a bucket of cold water on her. it works every time
insanexnh 13
He's trying to calm her down, not make her freak out even more.
dancinwookie 21
Well, she's already in the tub. Hand her a blanket and tell her to go to bed. If she gets sick, just turn on the shower. It'll clean right up.
williamcarter93 13
Leave her there, and let her cry
reddudeover 2
(Reads profile) You're a poe aren't you?
illicit420 4
Wheres the random drunk guy to look after your sister
tony1891 22
Lol Wow. using her bra as a lasso? I'd like to see how that works.
SqueakyChipmunk 22
I've seen someone try to lasso their chihuahua with their thong. The sad part, he was a guy.
tony1891 22
LOL. a mankini. Hahaha
ooyt453 1
Well at least you drove her home and stayed with her.... If my sister was asking me to stay with her I would have said get stuffed
Mekeritrig 15
Go to bed, she'll be fine.