Today, I drove my drunk sister home after a wild night of partying. She did not go to bed as I expected; instead, she laid in the bathtub and cried every time I left her. Now it's 3AM, and she's using her bra as a lasso for various objects in the room. The best part is I work in 4 hours. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my drunk sister threw up on me while I was sleeping. FML
Today, I was trying to go to sleep when I heard my sister come home from the bar. I fell asleep and woke up an hour later to see my sister squatting in my dresser drawer. I asked her what she was doing and she said "I'm peeing." FML
Today, I had to go pick up my mother at 3 in the morning. She had been out drinking and couldn't drive. She parties more than I do. FML
Today, my drunk sister came in my room at 2 in the morning, sat on the side of my bed, fell off, knocked over my glass of water, which ruined my new phone, then got angry at me for getting angry with her. She then slammed my door, which made all the photo frames smash to the ground. FML
Today, I finally got to come home after hours spent in a locked down ER after a car accident. My injuries were non life-threatening, but pretty damn painful. I asked my sister to pick up my pain meds from the pharmacy for me. She got drunk and "lost them", AKA gave them to her dirtbag boyfriend. FML
Today, I brought a girl home from the bar. After sleeping together, she drunkenly stumbles to the bathroom to wash up. On her way back, she accidentally walks into my parents' room, turns on the lights and asks where her clothes are before figuring it out. FML
Today, I went back home. My drunk mother was screaming at my drunk step-dad about a fight that happened four years ago. My little sister was looking in the mirror practicing her "orgasm face", while the neighbors were dancing outside, coked out and naked. FML
Today, I had to pick up and drive home a couple of drunk bitches. Unfortunately, one of these drunk bitches was my mother. FML
Today, it's 2:23 in the morning, and my drunken girlfriend has just rung me up from a party where she's the only girl there. She seems to be having a great time. FML
Today, I'm exhausted. For the second time, my fiancé and I have pulled my future sister-in-law off the pavement naked and drunk at 3 a.m. and couldn't find the purse or glasses she had with her. She’s hungover and has completely blacked out what happened. Never again giving her a place to crash. FML
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Top comments
allard 14
Atleast you're being a good brother, and looking after her. Could've been Alot worse.
clumsychik 1
She'll pass out eventually.
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Comments (134)
clumsychik 1
She'll pass out eventually.
Abdul888 16
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
1 Oh you know that already! Cool anticipation bro.
Drigr 9
Eventually always mixes well with "work in 4 hours"
reddudeover 2
1 - Another case where having chloroform on hand would have been ideal. (warning don't chloroform drunk people, or sober people for that matter)
Ray_of_midnight 23
If she does, turn her on her side, so she doesn't aspirate her vomit. Jimi Hendrix reportedly died that way (although that's been disputed...long story). Encourage her to drink plenty of water. And avoid Tylenol/acetaminophen/paracetamol for the hangover, it can cause liver damage if you take it after drinking heavily. Not a doctor, not medical advice, yada. Babysitting drunks sucks...been there, dun that, in my youth. I stopped hanging out with people who needed babysitting when, like you, I started working at jobs where I had to be alert and responsible and couldn't do it on four hours of sleep.
NoOneCaresReally 8
If all else fails, just knock her out yourself...
CanWeMicrowaveIt 11
Man, she sounds like a RacistPancake...
clumsychik 1
25- your shirt fell off.
reddudeover 2
84. My shirt is a straight jacket.
thgiL 9
86- is 84/88 known for that or are you just trying to stereotype FMLers?
reddudeover 2
98 - RWAR!!!! D:
ilovenotyou 0
Yes, but let's hope she doesn't pass out in the tub..
allard 14
Atleast you're being a good brother, and looking after her. Could've been Alot worse.
TheMathMajor 26
*a lot
Eorlas 31
Very true. Be grateful it's you she's around in this state.
kamakazi1 5
I hope you're referring to Hyperbole and a Half. If so, I care for that Alot.
Phil135 4
I know nobody wanted to say it, but she coulda been raped :/
onlychildFTW 34
It's good your caring for your sister. In this state she's vonerable to any one. She could have it a lot worse. You're keeping her safe!
KeannaLove 32
Hey it's better you got her home safely rather than her drunk driving. Sometimes you gotta make sacrifices.
MrSassypants 34
I know all about sacrifices OP. One time, I had to throw a guy into a volcano and do a wild dance to please the Internet godz. Good news is that I got my WiFi back. Bad news is that I didn't get it back away because that mother ****** took ages to disintegrate. Some people are so careless of others.
Arrawyn 12
Just stay and sleep there. Sorry OP
Keevarou 17
You're a good brother to her :) You should be proud about that, even taking some of your own time to care for her even though you think it's a little hassle. Fyl, but you should be proud of yourself!:) Cheers. #2 beat me to it
reddudeover 2
5 - There's always someone just a bit quicker. Still very sound advice and another great comment. :)
Keevarou 17
I'm glad there are people like 2 and 4, always gives me a smile seeing other positive people :)
kamikrazy 6
I agree. BUT... Then again she could be a spoiled brat who only cares about herself while her caring brother is taking care of her. On the other hand, let's just stay positive.
CL3V3RGURL 9
I'm sorry. That's horrible. Will you have to take a shower before you leave? Because then you will be screwed. Maybe you shouldn't tell her you are leaving....
Qandol 26
If your sister can get drunk and be responsible for drinking and i'm sure you can just leave her in the bathtub and go to sleep since you're working in 4 hours, either way FYL
EliHak 0
Dafuq did I just read?
xXxIracebethxXx 14
#34 - An FML comment. Any more stupid questions?
therealslim 15
This wasn't really a 'dafuq' moment was it?
Isoldael 27
To be honest, that's her own fault for getting that drunk. If she's old enough to drink she's old enough to bear the consequences without screwing her brother's night over. Nice of you to do this, OP, but I definitely wouldn't have judged you for leaving her in the tub either.
Blueglasscup 18
And now I really want to try out that bra lasso thing.
Il_Maestro 6
Been their, done that. Let me tell you it's no "Accio."
Il_Maestro 6
There* dammit! I'm better than that.
l23VIVE 17
**** yo fairy accent
crazycatlady5 6
My cats like it when I lasso then with my bra:) I think...
dancinwookie 21
Probably not, but keep doing your thing.
Abdul888 16
you can do it on me as well. I'll like it ;)
evilplatypus 39
9 - My cat sleeps in my bras. He pulls them out of the hamper and curls up with them.
Il_Maestro 6
39- Makes sense. Cats love milk. Buh dum chhhh *crickets*
kissestoyouxx 0
Animal abuse...
Redoxx_fml 22
Cowboy hat on the door?