Today, I drove my drunk sister home after a wild night of partying. She did not go to bed as I expected; instead, she laid in the bathtub and cried every time I left her. Now it's 3AM, and she's using her bra as a lasso for various objects in the room. The best part is I work in 4 hours. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my drunk sister threw up on me while I was sleeping. FML
Today, I was trying to go to sleep when I heard my sister come home from the bar. I fell asleep and woke up an hour later to see my sister squatting in my dresser drawer. I asked her what she was doing and she said "I'm peeing." FML
Today, I had to go pick up my mother at 3 in the morning. She had been out drinking and couldn't drive. She parties more than I do. FML
Today, my drunk sister came in my room at 2 in the morning, sat on the side of my bed, fell off, knocked over my glass of water, which ruined my new phone, then got angry at me for getting angry with her. She then slammed my door, which made all the photo frames smash to the ground. FML
Today, I finally got to come home after hours spent in a locked down ER after a car accident. My injuries were non life-threatening, but pretty damn painful. I asked my sister to pick up my pain meds from the pharmacy for me. She got drunk and "lost them", AKA gave them to her dirtbag boyfriend. FML
Today, I brought a girl home from the bar. After sleeping together, she drunkenly stumbles to the bathroom to wash up. On her way back, she accidentally walks into my parents' room, turns on the lights and asks where her clothes are before figuring it out. FML
Today, I went back home. My drunk mother was screaming at my drunk step-dad about a fight that happened four years ago. My little sister was looking in the mirror practicing her "orgasm face", while the neighbors were dancing outside, coked out and naked. FML
Today, I had to pick up and drive home a couple of drunk bitches. Unfortunately, one of these drunk bitches was my mother. FML
Today, it's 2:23 in the morning, and my drunken girlfriend has just rung me up from a party where she's the only girl there. She seems to be having a great time. FML
Today, I'm exhausted. For the second time, my fiancé and I have pulled my future sister-in-law off the pavement naked and drunk at 3 a.m. and couldn't find the purse or glasses she had with her. She’s hungover and has completely blacked out what happened. Never again giving her a place to crash. FML
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Top comments
allard 14
Atleast you're being a good brother, and looking after her. Could've been Alot worse.
clumsychik 1
She'll pass out eventually.
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Comments (134)
TheEpicPies 15
Aww.
perdix 31
The best part is your job? I beg to differ! Either you have a helluva fun job or your sister's topless Wild West show is the best part! Ride 'em, Cowgirl (in reverse ;) )!
RedCrow 0
Aww, your a good. Brother! Just call your boss and tell him. I'm sure he'll understand.
mattorama 15
Why were you posting on FML and not recording video!?
BenTaz 7
That would make for a hilarious video XD
Calyx_fml 22
Does she have nice ****? Go ahead, thumb me down. I did.
perdix 31
Evidently not. If waking up for a job after 4 hours of sleep is the highlight of the story, her **** must be quite disgusting.
abrookec2011 14
Sounds like she needs more alcohol.
mblaise 1
This is
mblaise 1
This is the best FML I have seen ever.
wildcat12000 6
If this is Wren that posted this, you are talking about my girlfriend sadly