Today, my swim coach had me swim a 400 meter freestyle. Feeling a little sick near the end, I lifted my head to breathe, then burped, and threw up violently all in the pool. All my team mates screamed horrified running out of the pool, and now they have to drain it. I was told not to come back. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was in swimming practice at the pool. I suddenly got breathless, dizzy, and felt like I was drowning. I cried out to the instructor, telling him I had a weak heart. He shouted back, "I don't care about your love life! Swim, bitch!" FML
Today, I was swimming my routine laps at the gym's pool and a man came in and swam in the adjacent lane. While swimming freestyle, I smelled a really nasty fart. Not a minute later, he hurriedly left. I didn't realize what he had done until I saw "floating particles" in the water. FML
Today, I was teaching swimming. A small boy said his stomach hurt, so I placed him on my back and carried him to the main building where he could lay down. He then jumped off my back and ran back towards the beach because 'he felt better'. I had explosive diarrhea all over my back. FML
Today, I tried to impress our swim team coach by doing a complicated backflip from the diving board. I landed face-first in the pool and had to be rescued by the lifeguard, so I guess I won't be going to the Olympics any time soon. FML
Today, a new session started for my swimming squad. I walked down to the pool, tripped over a stray equipment bag, and belly-flopped into the pool in front of everyone, fully clothed. I'm the coach. FML
Today, I decided to get back in shape so I went swimming. I only managed 10 lengths and was completely out of breath. I was so embarrassed that when a lifeguard asked me if I was OK, I made up a story about a leg injury as a reason to leave only 15 minutes after I got in. FML
Today, I ran a mile for my gym class. While I managed to cut two minutes off my time, a few minutes later I felt dizzy and nauseous, which I thought was because I pushed myself too hard. I collapsed and vomited in front of everyone. Not a single person moved to help me. Not even the teacher. FML
Today, my swimming coach made us swim fifty laps non-stop as punishment for his previous class being unable to swim a drill properly. They're 8-11 year olds who are still learning to swim. I feel like my arms and legs are filled with lead. FML
Today, at soccer tryouts, the coach made us run the entire practice. I ran the whole two hours ahead of everyone. When the tryout ended, I vomited due to dehydration. I didn't make the team. The coach's reasoning: "Only the weak throw up". FML
Today, I was wrestling in a tournament. I was in the finals about to win when the kid threw up on me. They thought I'd hit him in the stomach hard enough to make him throw up, so they disqualified me. FML
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Top comments
Mirorbo 27
Hmmm.....I can't really tell who's at fault here. Sure, the darling felt sick, but if the coach wouldn't let them stop....hmmm.... this is one where I just cannot vote on it without more details.
Tempuser117 2
Back in my day the warm ups were over 9000! And that was upstream both ways including a 40 foot waterfall in -30 degree weather. Let me tell you, you young people have it easy! I'd like to see you swimming through a layer of ice. I'll not even mention fighting off the piranha and crocodiles!
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Comments (102)
ICabooseI 0
I hear a boomer!
NettotWSecnarf 0
You made me pause.....then laugh!
Rahnt 0
*queue horde music*
pennies_lane 6
suuuure! i highly doubt they would drain a whole pool for one puke.
InnDepth 0
this is also why u don't eat then go for a swim
MagicMushrooms 0
Haven't you heard of the 30 min rule after eating? Damn man damn.
CashMusicNet 0
that's screwed man. luvin the wording though "throw up VIOLENTLY" lol CLASSIC
maphineRAWRS 10
random fact that has hardly anything to do with the fml at all; I came first in the 400m freestyle at the swimming carnival this year :) haha
And_Jelly 0
Nice work.
maphineRAWRS 10
hehe thanks love :) really? that killed you? weak :P I had to do that aswell, except it was like 100 freestyle, 100 backstroke 100 breaststroke and 100 butterfly. I was coming first till the last lap where it was butterfly.. I cannot do butterfly to save my life so I came second ;) what's the difference between survival backstroke and.. backstroke? bhahaha
rpie 0
Lifesaving backstroke is completely different! You kick differently and you don't use your arms.
InDenial 6
Yay Aussies = Beast swimmers. Haha.
maphineRAWRS 10
oh yeah i can see that.. i think that would be abit harder than normal backstroke :P InDenial - heck yeah we are ;)
Sparx1_1 16
I think the OP is just assuming that they will have to drain the pool or maybe that is what the coach said so that the other girls wouldn't freak out. They don't drain a whole pool just for a bit of puke. I'm not very athletic so I don't know how hard it is to do 400m but if you can't do it without puking then you should not be on the team. Then again, even though I'm not into sports, I'm smart enough to know that you should never eat a big meal before any strenuous activity. If you ate enough to "throw up violently" then you probably deserve it.
TeenieAmerica 9
Also, maybe she was already sick and happened to throw up while swimming...
chelle_starlight 0
well written, op...the visuals bring it to whole new level...
And_Jelly 0
LLLOOOOOLLLLLLLLLLL. You just got owned.
FMT 0
Believe me they do not drain the pool if someone throws up, or sh*ts themselves for that matter, but one lucky lifeguard does get to fish it out...