Today, I was teaching swimming. A small boy said his stomach hurt, so I placed him on my back and carried him to the main building where he could lay down. He then jumped off my back and ran back towards the beach because 'he felt better'. I had explosive diarrhea all over my back. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went for a swim in the sea. It was early and I was the only one in the water. I swam out far, then my tummy rumbled big time. Next thing I knew, I'd shat my shorts. It went everywhere. I had to scoop the poop out with my hand and wash it off whilst swimming back to shore. I had to shower afterwards. FML
Today, my swim coach had me swim a 400 meter freestyle. Feeling a little sick near the end, I lifted my head to breathe, then burped, and threw up violently all in the pool. All my team mates screamed horrified running out of the pool, and now they have to drain it. I was told not to come back. FML
Today, I had explosive diarrhea. I got off the toilet to change my 3 year-old's poopy diaper. He was being stubborn, so I was going to go back to the toilet, which is when he laid down. I thought I could do it. I couldn't. He ran around diaperless as I ran back to the toilet with liquid shit running down my leg. FML
Today, I was teaching swim lessons. I got felt up by a 6 year-old boy. Three times. FML
Today, I was in a public bathroom, when a little boy walked in and he had an 'accident'. He asked if I could help him clean it up, so I decided to help. I started to walk to him to assist him. That's when I walked straight into the pee and slipped. My whole back was covered in pee. FML
Today, I jumped into a pool from seven meters high, landed on my ass, and got a free enema. My ass still hurts. FML
Today, I came down with sudden diarrhea while at Tae kwon do practice. I discreetly called my dad for a pickup, but on our way out, he told my instructor that I had to go because I was "shitting my pants with fear." He did this in front of all my classmates. FML
Today, I got a concussion while teaching a kid how to be a safe and cautious swimmer. FML
Today, I went to the pool with my son. One moment I'm sitting down, applying sunscreen to my legs, and the next I look up to see him squatting on the diving board, seconds before dropping a deuce into the pool. As we got kicked out, he screamed that it was my fault. FML
Today, I took my class to swimming lessons at the local public pool. One student came out and proudly told me that she'd pooed in the shower, but it was OK because she'd then picked it up and flushed it down the toilet. FML
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Top comments
Topguy 0
ewwww bad day...
TheChanel 0
see, this is why I'm just really not fond of kids... FYL
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Comments (120)
Uvula 0
First
Xero3g 5
Hi 5!
ElliexMarie 0
lmao . oh well. that was cutee[:
Travesty42 14
Not that you're ever going to see this, but, ElliexMarie, you have *amazing* eyes.
dragonaair 5
106:Quite clearly its photoshopped
Topguy 0
ewwww bad day...
drummerforever 0
lol at least it didnt drip down into his pants
SystemofaBlink41 27
I would've barfed...
ohheykiwi 2
oh, man, that sucks!
sandra143 0
WTF uvula I get that your first, but your comment is pointless. To the OP, that sucks, but it made me lol. :)
lovelykendra5 0
Sick shit :/
Uvula 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
I never been first before and now I'm first on two posts so I'm happy.
kewlcat 0
har har har
alex_vik 1
Guess what. If you just post first, it's a pointless comment. I've been first on several of these, yet not once did I scream "ZOMGZ FIRST!1!!!"
kewlcat 0
you're also a loser if you're on FML enough to get 1st so many times
jjenniferr05 0
Jealous?
missmeliss0309 0
ur not first, ur #6. durhurhur....
Odiny147 0
nice uvula
girlrome 19
So you're first. What's the big deal? Get a life.
dyld921 2
Wait, if that happened, wouldn't some of it got into his pants as well?
glompable 19
Yeah.... he must've just been pretty young, if he just jumped off the OP's back and ran back to the beach.
buckeye91011 0
Did you throw some of it at him?
TheChanel 0
see, this is why I'm just really not fond of kids... FYL
lolzforfun228 3
wow thats just not cool. I'm not saying it's true, but I've always seen people who don't like kids to have some sort of mental problem. Kids are great, they jsut do stupid stuff when their young. Having a kid is an amazing experience.
daniisme 0
@78 I agree. I'm goin to study nannying for kids with mental disability In uni after I finish school, my school has a Wilson home so I help there on tues and Thursday. I <3 being13 :D
gelt 0
That is soooo funny