Today, my boss mistakenly drunk-texted me and was talking shit about me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had an argument with my boss and tried to text a friend about it. I accidentally texted my boss instead. FML
Today, I accidentally sent a text message meant for my best friend to my boss. The text was about how much I hated my job and my boss's constant micromanagement. FML
Today, I overheard my boss talking about me on the phone. Turns out he was drunk off his ass when he gave the go-ahead to hire me, and he's now searching for any excuse to legally fire me. FML
Today, I had to have a word with my boss about how him coming into work drunk is probably not a very good idea. FML
Today, I read through my phone, hoping there weren't any drunk texts by me from the night before. Apparently I dirty texted everyone, even my boss. FML
Today, my boss fired me because I corrected him after he misspoke during a meeting. FML
Today, I learned a co-worker called and awoke my boss at 3 a.m. to complain that I'd been "rude" to him. All I'd done was make a disapproving face because he'd been drinking and he was slobbering drunk, and wanted to charge his purchase to his employee account, a definite no-no when not on the clock. FML
Today, I got in a car accident on the way to work. I received an abusive phone call from my boss saying he shouldn't have to cover my lazy ass. I was driving to cover his shift because he was too drunk to show up to work. FML
Today, my boss reprimanded me for a huge screw-up that he was responsible for. FML
Today, I found out that the dream in which I drunkenly phoned my boss and called him a "fat useless piece of shit" actually did happen. I woke up to 10 missed calls and 5 angry texts stating I was fired. FML
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Top comments
mattzawesome 28
Depending how severe it is, take it to HR. Maybe you won't have to deal with her in the workplace any more. I doubt she treats many of her co workers respectfully.
ragnarok1540 39
Your should have texted back something like "Yeah, that OP, what a ****!" Then you would have gained his trust and could get him to divulge some dirty secrets you could use against him in the future ...
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Comments (45)
HoboMeth 36
Well now you know. That sucks
tabbycat2007 22
Thank you, Captain Obvious.
Norja 33
One of the most pointless comments ever written.
mattzawesome 28
Depending how severe it is, take it to HR. Maybe you won't have to deal with her in the workplace any more. I doubt she treats many of her co workers respectfully.
MadJessTic 29
How do you know the boss is a She?
mattzawesome 28
I don't, no one does. If I did I'd have made sure it was correct for you.
Koalabiter 6
And if they assumed the boss was a male, someone would probably jump on them for being sexist.
fakedsincerity 32
That's why it's best to use "they" or "he/she" when unsure cause else someone is sure to be offended. lol.
Miss_Whipped 43
People take offense to everything way too easily as it is, and on FML you can walk on eggshells all day and it won't matter. I don't understand the people who jump and say (to paraphrase) 'Well we don't know if it's a male or female.' Who cares? It's still shitty and it's still unacceptable to drunkenly text an employee and discuss their issues with that employee without at least coming to them about it first and addressing the issue. It really speaks to the professionalism of the boss to talk that way about someone they manage behind their back.
igg125 30
Now you know what to improve on.
mattzawesome 28
Talking shit about someone and giving them constructive criticism to improve their job skills are two completely different things.
Mightyrif 23
If he's any kind of decent you should get an apology the next day when he's sober. FML
marcranger 29
An apology, a raise, extensive vacation time...not that I condone blackmail, of course.
Brandi_Faith 34
I'm just so happy to finally see a boss having done this instead of the usual employee screwing up and texting their boss crap while drunk. This makes for a good change! Lol.
AThinkingPanda 9
Happens to the best of us
yerawizardlizzy 27
No, it doesn't.
dirty_dan_ 15
Bring it up and discuss how to work on whatever they said
hardcorefan16 22
What did you except? Bosses are jerks, especially when they are drunk.
mattzawesome 28
That's a major generalization, I have a great boss who accommodates my schedule as best as he can, and still gives me lots of shifts. Both my parents are extremely happy with their superiors as well. Some people can't deal with the fact they are paid less than their bosses and resent them for no real reason.
ragnarok1540 39
Your should have texted back something like "Yeah, that OP, what a ****!" Then you would have gained his trust and could get him to divulge some dirty secrets you could use against him in the future ...
eiitiac108 11
I would 100% do this ?
AviShtap 20
Hah, wow! That's really the perfect comeback, #12! If I were your boss, I'd promote you for that.
mercyelvira42 23
I want to preface this by saying I'm not offended at all by this, but I just find it interesting that people have assigned a gender for OP's boss when OP never stated whether the boss is male or female
bandaidstations 28
I feel like this is something women do more than grown men.
Brandi_Faith 34
People tend to pick a gender when one isn't specified. It makes it easier to write out "he" or "she" versus "they" all the time. It's just easier to write when you've picked a gender. Plus people sometimes have an image of the FML scenario when reading, and therefore pick a gender to imagine the person. But I always hate the people that always jump on people for picking a gender, "why would you assume the boss is a guy, are you sexist or something?" etc. It's annoying.
freddygasman 18
#24 not necessarily, especially when their drunk.
gracehi 33
Something like that happened to me. I was staying late for work because my bitch of a supervisor wanted me to redo something. She didn't like the way I did it, but it was only because she hadn't been specific enough with her instructions. Anyway, she told me to do something on the computer she had been using and I saw she had an email she had been writing open and it said something like, "I'm staying late because *somebody* is taking forever." As I was leaving I said to her, "By the way, you shouldn't leave your email open so anyone can see it."