Today, I realized how bad my sex life is when I scratched a mosquito bite and almost had an orgasm. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had the house to myself so I lay on my bed with a porno for some me time. I was just about to begin when I felt a sting. A mosquito bit me right on the shaft. I’m allergic to mosquitos, so now I’m sweating, covered in hives and my knob is swollen in a very bad, not fun way. FML
Today, I got more pleasure from scratching a bug bite than I've gotten from my boyfriend in 2 whole years. FML
Today, after good sex, we were lying in bed, just hugging and stroking each other, when the moment was ruined by a mosquito biting my nipple. I swatted it and we tried to get back to feeling good when another mosquito bit my husband right on the tip of his penis. Moment well and truly over. FML
Today, I finally got to see my girlfriend's mouth open with pleasure… while she was scratching a bug bite. FML
Today, I got some really bad mosquito bites on the outside of my thighs. They itched, and my jeans prevented me from scratching them, so I unbuttoned my pants, stuck my down my leg and started scratching. My mom walked in, and won't believe I wasn't masturbating. FML
Today, I decided to lay out and tan. I fell asleep and got sun burned and bitten numerous times by mosquitoes. If I scratch my itch, the burn hurts terribly. If I don't scratch it, it itches terribly. FML
Today, in spite of 2 different types of bug spray, underwear, and jeans, I discovered not one, but two mosquito bites on my vagina. FML
Today, I got a mosquito bite under each armpit. FML
Today, I was taking a piss, when a mosquito came out of nowhere and headed straight for my dick. In my startled attempt to ward it away, I pissed all over everything, including myself. FML
Today, I woke up to a mosquito feeding on my morning wood; probably the only thing that will ever suck my penis. FML
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Top comments
rhysfucker 24
Where did it bite you and how long did you scratch?
tygerarmy 35
That mosquito really got your blood flowing.
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Comments (99)
rhysfucker 24
Where did it bite you and how long did you scratch?
EphMi 5
why "almost"? what stopped you from taking it all the way?
sirliam99 12
The original fml said that she did have a ****** at her granddads birthday party
kristabelli 19
I don't really understand this FML... If something simple like that gives you an ******, wouldn't that mean you have a crazy high sex drive??
cryssycakesx3 23
at least the actual bite didn't give you an ******...
kristabelli 19
Well they changed the word "drive" to "life" so it makes a bit more sense now... but I think OP should have changed the word "low" as well. (Maybe to something like "sad" or "pathetic" heh.)
doctorhook86 25
#64: You know, cuz a mosquito penetrated her?
CupcakeJuice 10
Kinky.
Helpfulman 17
You're blessed OP.
tygerarmy 35
That mosquito really got your blood flowing.
incoherentrmblr 22
.
sunnyray812 42
Scratching a mosquito bite really does feel good.
anrou8 9
so good that you get an ******???
Animekid126 13
Especially when the puss flows out
Ololo_fml 16
that's what you get for touching pimples (；￢_￢)
reda432 3
Lmaoo if your a guy that's ****** up
Fuaaad1994 31
It says OP is female next to her name..
badluckalex 23
why would gender matter anyways?
itsalanis 25
7, I also can't tell the gender since I'm on the Windows Phone app. Based on only anonymous, I would have made the same assumption.
itsalanis 25
I know about that. It's just that, at the time when the original comment of this train was posted and me replying to it, the symbol was not there at the time. Now I see it, so it must have updated. Oh well, takes time I guess.
HanBroman 20
no, itsalanis, you're just wrong.
Chibi_Kitten 24
I can't tell gender on the mobile version on the iPhone...it doesn't even show the OP's name.
GreatBigWorld_ 15
Depends on how you touched it, if you know what I mean
ManaComa 7
Someone's got a biting fetish!
Mynamewontfi 40
Scratching a mosquito bite feels good, but killing a mosquito feels even better.
cakefete2 31
If she would have killed the mosquito then scratched the bite, this FML would have "finished" a little differently.
cricketsins 36
That is a completely inappropriate use of the phrase "low sex drive".
sunnyray812 42
Why???
badluckalex 23
I think op means sex 'life' instead of drive?
Enslaved 38
Because I would think that if someone had a "low sex drive", then touching them self (even in a non-sexual way) wouldn't have an orgasmic effect.
sunnyray812 42
Oh, ok. Now I see what you mean. Makes more sense now.
Capt_Obvious 11
I can't believe it took nine commenters to notice that.
cryssycakesx3 23
thanks 9. it was bothering me too.
Capt_Obvious 11
I miss the old one, it was funny for two reasons b
gemstone586 12
I feel betrayed that fmls are edited... :(
sexyboi1985 27
Far out ! There's no hope.
anniesje 11
Low sex drive means you don't want to have sex. Maybe you mean you've had very little sexual contact?
WinterBlue42 22
That is probably what the OP meant. Either way, FYL to the OP.