Doggy style

Love is love

Today, my dog carried on with his recent habit of trying to hump me. When I told my mom, she just joked that he's my new boyfriend. Now my whole family is just calling him my boyfriend. FML

Exercise One

Today, while cuddling with my boyfriend, he started humping my leg and said, "I'm gonna hump the fatness out of you and make you beautiful." FML

Bad boy

Today, I realized that the dog humping my leg was the most action I've gotten in months. FML

Not helping

Today, i told my boyfriend that I wasn't feeling emotionally well, and wanted cuddles. He proceeded to hump my leg. FML

Humping

Today, I climbed into bed with my sleeping boyfriend after a long shift at work. He immediately rolled over, clamped my leg between his knees, and started viciously humping it. This is the fourth time now, and he still doesn't believe that he even does it. FML

Today, I was making love to my boyfriend, when he discovered that if he hits a certain area just right, my leg starts shaking like a dog. Now he won't stop patting my head and saying, "Who's a good girl?!" FML

Woof woof

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he started pretending he was a dog. This included barking, licking my face, and scratching his ears. FML

Today, my boyfriend was rubbing my leg. He started laughing and said, "Babe, is this your leg, or am I petting Daisy?" Daisy is my dog. I need to shave. FML

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It would have been a lot sexier had our chihuahua not decided to rim his ass as he thrust into me, causing him to break out into a case of the giggles. FML

Today, I was rubbing my dog's belly. He seemed to be enjoying it, his penis "came out". My boyfriend was walking by and said "at least you turn someone on." FML