Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It would have been a lot sexier had our chihuahua not decided to rim his ass as he thrust into me, causing him to break out into a case of the giggles. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he started pretending he was a dog. This included barking, licking my face, and scratching his ears. FML
Today, I was getting a bit intimate with my boyfriend. Just when things were getting interesting, my dog managed to get into my room. He jumped on the bed and my boyfriend spent the next 20 minutes playing with the dog, while I sat next to him, half naked. FML
Today, I was having hot sex with my boyfriend. Then, I felt a puff of air hit my face and a rancid smell. My dog had farted in my face. FML
Today, during quite vigorous unprotected sex with my partner, I got a bit over-excited and on the pullout, my ejaculate shot from me, across my partner, and hit the dog who had decided to jump on the bed. My partner found it hilarious; I feel like I'm going to hell. FML
Today, I was engaged in intercourse with my fiancée when her dog decided take a loud dump in front of the fan that was pointed at us. Needless to say, intercourse ended very abruptly. FML
Today, my husband and I were starting to get freaky. He was rubbing himself on my lady parts and I looked over to my side where my dog was intensely following my man’s junk with her eyes. I laughed so hard I farted, peed myself, and broke a cup in under 5 minutes. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were finally alone and things were starting to get intimate. I was on top of him trying to be sexy, when in my excitement I giggled and called him a "silly girl" by accident. FML
Today, I was having it off with my boyfriend. He's the kind of guy that likes to keep things interesting. Just as he started climaxing, he began to meow. FML
Today, my boyfriend tried to be dominant during sex. It was so out of character for him, I couldn't help but break into hysterical laughter. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend doggy-style. I was getting close when he suddenly blurts out, "Babe, you really need to bleach your asshole." FML
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Top comments
desireev 18
Brings a whole new meaning to "doggy style"! :)
omgalice 5
Why would you let your dog near you while you were having sex?
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Comments (126)
omgalice 5
Why would you let your dog near you while you were having sex?
brooklynbridgehi 1
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
A chinchillas not a dog it's like a big hamster bunny thing
NeDaroft 5
why not ? ;) I mean it's the least we can do for stealing the doggystyle from them.
kayley93 3
*Chihuahua...which is a dog.
brooklynbridgehi 1
Oh nvm I read it wrong
reapy 14
op said chihuaha not chinchilla. A chihuaha is, in fact, a breed of dog.
JackeeDawn 9
They are such small dogs. Too small to get on normal beds, therefore the people must have been on the floor. If they were on the floor then it's the dogs territory now. :p
evilplatypus 39
47 - My sister's chihuahua has no issues getting on the bed and the dog's normal chihuahua size.
onlychildFTW 34
Dogs are very strange when people have sex. They always seem to want to join in. It's so odd.
loopsy_fml 14
47- I know a dog that's smaller than a chihuahua and she can jump on my bed no problem. And my bed is higher than a normal bed
loopsy_fml 14
100- cruel
Mr_Krabs 5
47- thats not always the case, my Pomeranian can jump onto my 3.5ft raised bed...she has quite the legs.
fyl7899 12
#100 You're my hero!
racerapj 10
"rim his ass?" Can someone explain the FML? Or am I just slow today?
racerapj 10
Oh! Thanks Alan!
RandomComments 6
Google is always there for you in the time of need.
cliffibom 15
The real question is if he got harder or flaccid?
cpt98 6
What does Anilingus mean?
murphdarkly 13
Licking his asshole...
BeachBoi_Alex 7
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Seriously? You dont know what rimming is?? You must be slow in general.
klx125cross 9
That explains the whole thing
Enslaved 38
More like hole.
AssassinsCRB 0
Just because he doesn't know what rimming is doesn't make him slow. I'd rather not know. :(
natalia18oo 12
I was confused by this too!!
BeachBoi_Alex 7
Innocent = pathetic
agonydrum 7
33 you may enjoy licking the chocolate lollipop but most people don't and therefore would have no reason to know what rimming is
MidnaLink 35
67 its even more pathetic to believe that someone who hasn't had sex is pathetic, too bad it also makes you a complete asshole!
xxhollilollixx 6
89- An asshole for which to be rimmed :D
ShyAnn29 15
I think the fact that the FML involves a dog, made it a bit confusing.
Mauskau 36
I think most people would rather not google it. Hence the questions, heh. Sounds scary even if you don't know what it is.
BeachBoi_Alex 7
You are pretty pathetic if in your 20s and you havent had sex, its like you've missed and missing out on a part of life.
starbucksguy 16
67 = pathetic
agonydrum 7
I didn't have sex until I was 20 and there is nothing pathetic about me
starbucksguy 16
113 some people hold off on having sex until they meet "the one"...this doesn't make them pathetic in the slightest. Just because they showed a bit of restraint at not boinking the first girl they came across (pun intended) doesn't make them pathetic either...you, however, are pathetic for thinking that sex is the be-all and end-all to life. Though it is pretty damn good.
desireev 18
Brings a whole new meaning to "doggy style"! :)
MetalxSoldier 26
It's better to break out into a case of giggles, than a case of herpes...
My_Nightmare 19
Very true, Sir ^
hawright 13
3, is the Mcalester you are from, McAlester, OK?
Mjfalcon 8
31, What's up fellow Oklahomie! *high five* Now something actually pertaining to the FML and 3's comment: I always knew there was something wrong with them... I will never look at chihuahua's the same way again. 3, even I cringed at that. They can keep their style now as far as I'm concerned.
desireev 18
Yes, indeed... I am from McAlester... Take me to your leader.
hawright 13
Well that is just nifty. I am from northern OK in a small town you haven't heard of. Nice to meet both of you.
dapickle 9
Lol :p
Hiimhaileypotter 53
Why was your dog in the same room? O.o lol, shut the door next time :p
Pyapi 20
Some people sleep in the same bed as their dogs. If the sex was spontaneous, the last thing that would cross your mind is to get the dog out xD
jessikamahone 6
#doggystyle (:
putloginhere 6
Sir this is FML not twitter please crontrol your urge to use hashtags
Evaloscity 6
This isn't Twitter. -_-
Evaloscity 6
Oh sorry #22, didn't see your comment as i am on my iPhone and it didn't refresh. My apologies.
dogpfcorn 11
I'm pretty sure the phrase "hash tag" drives math majors, teachers, and well anyone else whose career is math gets mad that the number sign has become overly used in the wrong way
klx125cross 9
WTF?
TheMathMajor 26
... Doesn't make me mad, it's not really a mathematical symbol, and it's a computer character, so it can be used for that sort of thing. Besides, ! is a math symbol but it has other uses, and # is also used in music, but you said nothing about musicians being angry that the sharp is being somehow changed into a hash tag.
SenselessPattern 12
63#### Hey, # stands for sharp in music, and ! stands for not in computers! ....Sorry, got too excited...
Delvins 8
Did someone have the decency to apologize on fml? No way!
TheMathMajor 26
Lol, 92, I was referring to factorials, but that example works too.
SenselessPattern 12
#106 Damn. Did I still pass?
nuffsaidboutthat 4
109 - I think you're getting an A in programming 101 and perhaps some extra credit in discrete computational mathematics for logic
RandomComments 6
Think about that moment the next time your dog licks your face
EvilPotato 15
I have a solution, don't have sex when your dog is around?
Elegance 7
Least it wasn't a greyhound or a husky. I couldn't imagine.
KBeatz 5
Can't blame a guy for being giddy during sex.
darwinism 30
Next time you suggest sex and he says "just a minute, I'll let the dog in" or if he wants you to get a bigger dog, then you have a problem. Otherwise laught it off and thrust away.