Today, my boyfriend managed to orgasm by humping my leg. I'm beginning to think I'm dating a puppy. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my dog carried on with his recent habit of trying to hump me. When I told my mom, she just joked that he's my new boyfriend. Now my whole family is just calling him my boyfriend. FML
Today, while cuddling with my boyfriend, he started humping my leg and said, "I'm gonna hump the fatness out of you and make you beautiful." FML
Today, I realized that the dog humping my leg was the most action I've gotten in months. FML
Today, i told my boyfriend that I wasn't feeling emotionally well, and wanted cuddles. He proceeded to hump my leg. FML
Today, I climbed into bed with my sleeping boyfriend after a long shift at work. He immediately rolled over, clamped my leg between his knees, and started viciously humping it. This is the fourth time now, and he still doesn't believe that he even does it. FML
Today, I was making love to my boyfriend, when he discovered that if he hits a certain area just right, my leg starts shaking like a dog. Now he won't stop patting my head and saying, "Who's a good girl?!" FML
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he started pretending he was a dog. This included barking, licking my face, and scratching his ears. FML
Today, my boyfriend was rubbing my leg. He started laughing and said, "Babe, is this your leg, or am I petting Daisy?" Daisy is my dog. I need to shave. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It would have been a lot sexier had our chihuahua not decided to rim his ass as he thrust into me, causing him to break out into a case of the giggles. FML
Today, I was rubbing my dog's belly. He seemed to be enjoying it, his penis "came out". My boyfriend was walking by and said "at least you turn someone on." FML
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Top comments
Queensland 27
And you just... Let him hump your leg?
james98e 15
At least he'll always be loyal if he's like a dog?
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Comments (93)
LetMeSleepPlease 23
That's actually kind of cute, in a weird way.
austinn_lynn 10
By any means necessary you shall ******
mishwarner 14
Why are you with him? Can't imagine from the fml that he understands mutual sexual pleasure or that he could last long enough to manage it
jay_ladybug 19
Consider it his way of marking his territory.
failuretolaunch2 18
I didn't know that he would actually be able to achieve an ****** by merely humping my leg. So we tested the theory. Sometimes the best way to learn is first hand (first leg?) experience.
Sethan01 24
Is he at least house trained?
sneezy_peasy 8
if your shoes start to show up with teeth marks on them it might be time to move on.. ?
itsbatman_1 10
can you say thigh job!!!!
FMLUSER12345612 12
yu should of told him down boy
mischiefkel 17
This reminds me of the hotel scene with justin timberlake in the movie 'bad teacher' Cracks me up XD