Today, my boyfriend managed to orgasm by humping my leg. I'm beginning to think I'm dating a puppy. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my dog carried on with his recent habit of trying to hump me. When I told my mom, she just joked that he's my new boyfriend. Now my whole family is just calling him my boyfriend. FML
Today, while cuddling with my boyfriend, he started humping my leg and said, "I'm gonna hump the fatness out of you and make you beautiful." FML
Today, I realized that the dog humping my leg was the most action I've gotten in months. FML
Today, i told my boyfriend that I wasn't feeling emotionally well, and wanted cuddles. He proceeded to hump my leg. FML
Today, I climbed into bed with my sleeping boyfriend after a long shift at work. He immediately rolled over, clamped my leg between his knees, and started viciously humping it. This is the fourth time now, and he still doesn't believe that he even does it. FML
Today, I was making love to my boyfriend, when he discovered that if he hits a certain area just right, my leg starts shaking like a dog. Now he won't stop patting my head and saying, "Who's a good girl?!" FML
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he started pretending he was a dog. This included barking, licking my face, and scratching his ears. FML
Today, my boyfriend was rubbing my leg. He started laughing and said, "Babe, is this your leg, or am I petting Daisy?" Daisy is my dog. I need to shave. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It would have been a lot sexier had our chihuahua not decided to rim his ass as he thrust into me, causing him to break out into a case of the giggles. FML
Today, I was rubbing my dog's belly. He seemed to be enjoying it, his penis "came out". My boyfriend was walking by and said "at least you turn someone on." FML
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Top comments
Queensland 27
And you just... Let him hump your leg?
james98e 15
At least he'll always be loyal if he's like a dog?
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Comments (93)
PinkIsPower 10
It's usually very easy for guys to ******.
Sourpatch2010 7
Okay, either you two are way to young to be having sex, orrrrrr your not giving out as often it should and that's why he came so quickly. which is sad on both your parts.
limabeans101029 21
Orrrrrr maybe he's just into leg-humping
Algorithm 24
"Or you're not giving out as often as you should"? I must've missed it when they handed out handbooks on the weekly quota of sex you have to have so your partner doesn't feel compelled to hump your leg. Daily reminder that nobody owes you sex even if you're dating them, etc., too, but seriously, coming too quickly wasn't exactly the weird part of his behavior.
Oh_bother44 11
Nowhere in the post does it say anythig about being quick... And age has nothing to do with it. Some people are just goofy and can have fun like that.
josh9792 14
Maybe your too hot he couldn't contain himself ever think of that?
NH_Freelancer 19
All I can say is... ROTFL!!!! ?
Szaszaspasz 26
Sounds like a real dog!
JuggaloGamer 3
Doggy style?
bgon1350 4
never skip leg day
SchlomoTheGrinch 18
Newsflash: you ARE dating a puppy! Valentine's does strange things to people ;-)
EarlFug 19
Guessing it was middle of night or morning. Sometimes those, ahem, puppies just can't be denied. But it was a hint he wanted sex, not just to hump your leg. Your options were to tell him you're not interested or get involved. You chose neither and ended up with a mess.
Incognico 22
Woof, woof, woof, woo-oof, woo-oof, woo-ooo-ooo... oops