Today, in the midst of having sex, my boyfriend decided that, as a joke, he would pretend to be a zombie whilst going down on me. Sadly, the thought turned me so much that I came. This was the first orgasm he's ever given me in over a year of dating. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate. It was his first time, which I guess explains him sticking his hand down my panties and practically bitch-slapping my vagina for the next 20 or 30 seconds. I stupidly faked an orgasm just to get him to stop. Now he thinks he's some kind of sex god. FML
Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, I had my first orgasm. He thought something was wrong, so he stopped. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I decided to have sex. I was a virgin and he wasn't. About 30 seconds in he collapsed on me. I thought he was joking around and I started laughing. He wasn't joking. He was done. FML
Today, my boyfriend was pleasuring me with his hands. After two years of being together, he was finally about to make me orgasm for the first time by himself. Just as I was reaching my peak, he orgasmed at the thought of finishing me off and stopped. FML
Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. He definitely killed the mood when, while down there, he started saying, "Nomnomnomnom." FML
Today, I was getting intimate with my boyfriend for the first time. I went down on him, only for him to burst into tears halfway through. Apparently, I do it just like his long-lost teen sweetheart did. I swear I could feel him go completely limp in my mouth. FML
Today, I let my boyfriend finger me for the first time. Today, I also learned, after fifteen very, very long minutes of it, how to fake an orgasm. FML
Today, I tried faking an orgasm for the first time, because I thought it would be sexy for my boyfriend. He stopped to ask me if I was okay. I guess I'm not good at faking it. FML
Today, after having sex with my boyfriend for the first time, he told me he wanted to break up. He told me my orgasm face wasn't something he could put up with. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Just as he was about to finish, he pulled out and came in his hand. He then flicked his hand towards my face and yelled, "Sha-ZAM!" FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
jake98899889 4
Whatever gets the job done. Right?
grahambertus 11
Yeah. At least a zombie isn't shallow, he loves you for your brains.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (157)
henrygondorff 2
Bet he was a bit stiff too.
misszombiexx 10
XD Bahahahaha this comment killed me.
Awsumuzzie 12
Now all you have to do is admit to him that it was hilarious and it lightened the mood, so you came. And say only zombies make you laugh.
absolutegrrr 7
Or admit that zombies turn her on so he can give her more orgasms?
Awsumuzzie 12
It's an odd fetish, she has to ease him into it.
ravenxcorvinus 9
nom-nom-nom BRAINS!!
LawSixx 11
Wouldn't it be nom nom nom pussy?
Swiftly 0
He'd be like "I'm going to eat your flesh!!"
alexup24 13
that's some good role play right there...
Razzle_Dazzle_5 11
Zombie fetish?
BauerMegan 31
Zombie fleshish?
loserman67 36
WOW, you're going to be in heaven when the Zombie Apocalypse hits. But you'll have to make sure you just go with the zombies that prefer tuna over brains!
diesel1226 0
See, zombies just need some Va-j-j. No need to buy guns for the coming zombie apocalypse, stock up on hookers!
drawmesunshine 17
Out of context, that would be a really weird thing to say.
diesel1226 0
I wholeheartedly agree.
Pelreskovich 11
Zombie fetish, interesting. Do you also watch The Walking Dead naked? I bet that really gets you going!
Enslaved 38
It gets me going! I love that show! Just watched the new episode last night. (: ***poor Sophia! I didn't see that coming!***
desireev 18
I so saw the Sophia thing coming! It broke my heart to see her like that.. But I saw it coming.. Is it just me, or does Daryl and Sophias mom have something unsaid going on?!
Enslaved 38
Oh yeah, no one washes each other's hands like that! Haha. Glad to see others watching the show too. It's the only thing I watch religiously. (:
JiggaJayZ 16
Shane's gonna cap that old dude.
Pelreskovich 11
Ugh, aren't they just terrible!?
1JDub 6
Mmmmm....me like fish!