Today, in the midst of having sex, my boyfriend decided that, as a joke, he would pretend to be a zombie whilst going down on me. Sadly, the thought turned me so much that I came. This was the first orgasm he's ever given me in over a year of dating. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate. It was his first time, which I guess explains him sticking his hand down my panties and practically bitch-slapping my vagina for the next 20 or 30 seconds. I stupidly faked an orgasm just to get him to stop. Now he thinks he's some kind of sex god. FML
Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, I had my first orgasm. He thought something was wrong, so he stopped. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I decided to have sex. I was a virgin and he wasn't. About 30 seconds in he collapsed on me. I thought he was joking around and I started laughing. He wasn't joking. He was done. FML
Today, my boyfriend was pleasuring me with his hands. After two years of being together, he was finally about to make me orgasm for the first time by himself. Just as I was reaching my peak, he orgasmed at the thought of finishing me off and stopped. FML
Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. He definitely killed the mood when, while down there, he started saying, "Nomnomnomnom." FML
Today, I was getting intimate with my boyfriend for the first time. I went down on him, only for him to burst into tears halfway through. Apparently, I do it just like his long-lost teen sweetheart did. I swear I could feel him go completely limp in my mouth. FML
Today, I let my boyfriend finger me for the first time. Today, I also learned, after fifteen very, very long minutes of it, how to fake an orgasm. FML
Today, I tried faking an orgasm for the first time, because I thought it would be sexy for my boyfriend. He stopped to ask me if I was okay. I guess I'm not good at faking it. FML
Today, after having sex with my boyfriend for the first time, he told me he wanted to break up. He told me my orgasm face wasn't something he could put up with. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Just as he was about to finish, he pulled out and came in his hand. He then flicked his hand towards my face and yelled, "Sha-ZAM!" FML
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Top comments
jake98899889 4
Whatever gets the job done. Right?
grahambertus 11
Yeah. At least a zombie isn't shallow, he loves you for your brains.
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Comments (157)
ctlnaaia71 8
This FML actually made me horny... now I know what my husband will do tonight. Hmmmmmm
DestineeMaulice 0
And......? appreciate his sense if humor.
UnluckyJulie 13
So, where's the problem? At least he found out how to give you (hopefully) many more orgasms!
BamBamGraham 3
winning!
verkaderk 9
Om nom nom nom nom nom
Blanca781720 5
At least you won't be embarrassed if someone finds your **** stash since it's probably a zombie stash! Lol
HaloOfTheSun302 0
This is so hot
perdix 31
If your pussy tastes like brainz, you're going to be one happy couple!
TungstenLildog 10
Well that's great! It's about time! Remember it for next time.
rikolasdf 2
He gave you BRAAAAAIN.