Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Just as he was about to finish, he pulled out and came in his hand. He then flicked his hand towards my face and yelled, "Sha-ZAM!" FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, the guy I'm seeing and I were having sex. While I was having my orgasm, he looked at me and said "SHHHH!". FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend when he suddenly pulls out and says, "Pull my penis." So I pulled his penis and he farted. Then he started doing it again. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. He decided to make gun sound effects as he came. FML
Today, while me and my boyfriend were having sex, he moaned out his own name. FML
Today, as I was about to orgasm while my boyfriend was giving me oral sex, I tightened my grip on his hair and began shouting his name. He stopped, looked up at me, and said, "What?" FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having a romantic night. As we were having sex, he decided to say, "Look mom, no hands!" and it totally ruined the mood. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend, and I told him I was close to having an orgasm. He smirked and started talking like Yoda, saying, "Strong with the cum, this one is." Orgasm gone. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. He was about to make me come so I lifted my arm above my head with pleasure. I accidently punched him in the eye, hard enough that he had to stop for a while because he said he felt dizzy. FML
Today, when my boyfriend was about to orgasm, I suddenly sneezed all over his face. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, and he finished before me. I thought that he was going to try and get hard again so we could continue. Unfortunately, he turned to me and said to me, "Don't worry, I'll re-spawn in a few minutes." I lost it completely. FML
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Top comments
LocoMarshmallow 13
At least he didn't wipe it on your forehead and say "Simba"
DocBastard 40
I think that move definitely needs a name. I propose "The Perdix".
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Comments (154)
LocoMarshmallow 13
At least he didn't wipe it on your forehead and say "Simba"
UrYousername 15
Drats, beat me to it.
Sports_guy3 28
(Cleveland voice) Oh that's nasty.
HKCgrimmjow 15
Sorry sports guy... I've seen that one used at least 4 times this week. I'm not even on here that often. Time to come up with something original
nesto209 7
Hahahah made my night (>_
ThatNutellaTho 6
or he could do what he wants :)
cryssycakesx3 23
it's just cum.
KimJongIllest 8
Lhagana
Wizardo 34
At least he didn't spike your hair up with it either, there's always something with you Sarah.
speakersboom 19
"it's just cum"... didn't think I'd live to see the day that sentence would be used.
possy 19
It's a great day now!!
Shade1982 21
Oh, I have to do this now...
SaltyLurker 10
Great tip, I'm going to do that to my bf and see what he does X)
boating_guy 33
Personally I just find that pretty nasty. And a mood killer.
imchacon22 19
Who cares if it's a mood killer they were already done
jazzy_123 20
46, maybe he was but what about OP?
flashback_fml 14
Thats assuming that after a guy finishes he gives a shit about the girl finishing
dreadbeat69 12
I bet the ladies love you
DocBastard 40
I think that move definitely needs a name. I propose "The Perdix".
ThatOneDrummer 8
I second that suggestion!
zango1 15
I may be mistaken but I believe it's called the 'spiderman'.
dalink 24
#50 is correct. I wish I didn't know that though...
anchorsaweigh003 13
#50 and #98 it's also called a 'Jackson Pollock' lol
Alkpwn 6
*shots fired*
Meaniebobeanie 26
This is one of the most original FMLs I have ever read. On a side note, are there any guys who actually respect the act of sex? Life isn't a porno after all! Unless you're a pornstar.
saocrates 16
I have never even seen that in a prono. Guys are freaky (as one should be) but go over it with your girl first lol.
AnOriginalName 19
I'm a pornstar. Just as a volunteer. And currently out of work.
skyeyez9 25
I will pass on that elephant seal ****.
Pat77235 8
Ah the old Spider Man, at least he has a sense of humour...
SystemofaBlink41 27
It has a name??
PieReaper 11
No thats the Captain Marvel
SJParker 13
I thought it was called "The Perdix"....
alliewillie 22
I would rather my boyfriend didn't have "such a sense of humor" if he legitimately thought that was funny.
noobienick 19
And a spidey sense
cathrope 10
Maybe he was hoping for....*grabs my hat and jacket and leaves*
adyb 12
Comment not clear enough, his hat is his girlfriend?
ThatNutellaTho 6
Maybe He wanted His Gf To Grab Her Hat & Jacket and Go .
codyswearingen 3
Deal with it.
iAlissa 34
How would you like hot, sticky sperm flicked into your face? Ass.
NotAnAvidGolfer 4
You should never have to "deal" with anything you don't like during sex.
DavidKnows 11
Wait until you have your period, then "Tampon Shazam".
lil_mars 1
#90 **** yeah! OP, I'm sorry. I hope you him the dick and promptly dumped that asshole.
ayyeitsanderson 11
Probably the funniest thing ive ever read
perrialyce 2
gracehi 33
I would punch my boyfriend if he did that. Not really, but I'd want to.
GigaPudding_fml 24
I'd hit him! Usually when I read FMLs like this one, I find them rather funny but this one is just disgusting and disrespectful...
outoftown 27
A slap across the face would work nicely.
limabeans101029 21
I have to say, I think there are a lot of double standards on this site. If 79 and 122 were guys commenting about how they'd hit their girlfriend if she did something like this, there'd be a storm of comments saying how wrong that is.
Niz_DD 14
I would suggest grabbing his hand and snacking his face with his hand while saying "stop hitting yourself" repeatedly
girlrome 19
Wow. So sorry. That's just plain creepy. No excuses.