Today, in the midst of having sex, my boyfriend decided that, as a joke, he would pretend to be a zombie whilst going down on me. Sadly, the thought turned me so much that I came. This was the first orgasm he's ever given me in over a year of dating. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate. It was his first time, which I guess explains him sticking his hand down my panties and practically bitch-slapping my vagina for the next 20 or 30 seconds. I stupidly faked an orgasm just to get him to stop. Now he thinks he's some kind of sex god. FML
Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, I had my first orgasm. He thought something was wrong, so he stopped. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I decided to have sex. I was a virgin and he wasn't. About 30 seconds in he collapsed on me. I thought he was joking around and I started laughing. He wasn't joking. He was done. FML
Today, my boyfriend was pleasuring me with his hands. After two years of being together, he was finally about to make me orgasm for the first time by himself. Just as I was reaching my peak, he orgasmed at the thought of finishing me off and stopped. FML
Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. He definitely killed the mood when, while down there, he started saying, "Nomnomnomnom." FML
Today, I was getting intimate with my boyfriend for the first time. I went down on him, only for him to burst into tears halfway through. Apparently, I do it just like his long-lost teen sweetheart did. I swear I could feel him go completely limp in my mouth. FML
Today, I let my boyfriend finger me for the first time. Today, I also learned, after fifteen very, very long minutes of it, how to fake an orgasm. FML
Today, I tried faking an orgasm for the first time, because I thought it would be sexy for my boyfriend. He stopped to ask me if I was okay. I guess I'm not good at faking it. FML
Today, after having sex with my boyfriend for the first time, he told me he wanted to break up. He told me my orgasm face wasn't something he could put up with. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Just as he was about to finish, he pulled out and came in his hand. He then flicked his hand towards my face and yelled, "Sha-ZAM!" FML
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Top comments
jake98899889 4
Whatever gets the job done. Right?
grahambertus 11
Yeah. At least a zombie isn't shallow, he loves you for your brains.
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Comments (157)
le_troll 0
Mmmmm brains...... wait a minute....
javierklein 2
Ouch, that hurts!
death_prevails 6
Hey, nothing wrong with that... As long as you've found something. And hey, you can now experiment further in the fetish/role playing/bdsm direction. This time next year you'll have a whole arsenal of things that get you going.
dansco 25
You can be like that kid... I s.... hag dead people lol
dragsdotasniper 2
ur sex life sucks !
Edenbeam 19
At least it works, I suppose? I sense a lack of communication.
TheNewGuy03 29
Everyone always assumes that zombies only want some brain. They gotta get some pussy, too! As for her, she can cross her fingers and hope that the undead horde has a penchant for *********** instead of munching on the contents of your skull. |the kid|
twisted_cherub 14
Nothing wrong with it, but I had the opposite reaction one day. He wasn't acting like a zombie, but I had been reading "Day by Day Armageddon" right before that & freaked because I felt like I was being eaten alive. I'm sure I like some things that you'd hate though. That's why having the right partner is important. Hope he understands & you two enjoy.
warmmilk 1
Its prolly time to look for a new boyfriend if the thought of zombies turn you on more than he does
JackRandom 2
Got to be creative sometimes OP.