noneofthesex
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Do me
Today, I sent a text to my boyfriend saying, "Come over and do me." He never responded. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
DreeStahr
This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff
Liberty, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Steamy
Today, I was texting my boyfriend and things were getting a little steamy. He said, "I really want you right now." So, of course, I told him to come over. To which he replied, "Nah." FML
Anonymous
Melbourne, Australia 🌶️ Spicy
Remote sex
Today, I thought it would be fun to have a sex session with my boyfriend. I sent him a suggestive message, and 30 minutes later he texted me back to let me know he was done. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, my boyfriend texted me saying, "I can come over today. She thinks I've got work." I think he had the wrong number. FML
Anonymous
Play stupid games, win stupid prizes
Today, after I decided to see what would happen if I didn’t text my boyfriend first in the morning, I haven’t heard from him in two days. FML
sleepingbeauty
Jackson, United States
Today, I got in a fight with my boyfriend. I sent him a long message pouring my heart out about how hurt I am that he constantly ignores me or responds to almost everything I say in monosyllables. He texted back "ok". FML
princess
Canada 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I texted my boyfriend of 6 months saying that I was in the mood, and that I was in bed, and naked. He texted back saying "U got fingers, use them, im going to bed xoxo". FML
Anonymous
Imperial, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, my fiancé texted me, saying he'd been masturbating to pictures of me. I told him that I couldn't wait to get home and take care of him. He replied, "Nah, don't bother, I got this." Now I'm horny and sad. FML
fml
🌶️ Spicy
Today, while my boyfriend was inside me, he got a text message. He actually stopped thrusting to reply. FML
McKenna
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I was sending my boyfriend dirty texts to try and turn him on so when I see him the next day he will want to get intimate. Twenty minutes later he texts back, "ew stop." FML
Anonymous
San Bruno, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I told my boyfriend I was horny and was waiting for him at my place. 30 minutes later, he still hadn't arrived, so I called him and asked if he was coming. He replied "Already did, right into a kleenex." and hung up. FML
Top comments
troynt 2
double standard ... if the roles were reversed no one would care.
deeznutzismine 0
Text me instead!
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Comments (62)
crazyvulva9216 0
sounds familiar. weird.
Miru_fml 0
To the silly people who don't get the joke: the stereotype is that men are the ones always BEGGING to have sex, like it is their greatest desire, whereas women are always so evasive about it. Now here comes a girl that actually offers it to her boyfriend, and he doesn't take it. This is not a double standards issue. Males and females really do have different feelings towards sex (generally), and therefore should be treated differently as well.
MLS_fml 0
hahahhahaha im sorry i find this hilarious! like how do you respond after that... like uhh hey i dont know if you got my text earlier or not but... or like try and play it off like you never said it like o hey whats up? hahaha
twitteraddict 0
He might have had no credit no battery no signal stop being paranoid
arienh4 0
If you're like 9/10th of this site's submitters, it went to either your dad, his brother or someone else.
sai_fml 0
haha yeah #31, I'm waiting for the next part in the series: "Today, I wanted to **** my bf so I sent him an SMS. When I woke up there was 150 people outside my house lining up including both my parents and my bf's parents. Turns out I sent it to everyone in my phone... Well...better get out there and get started, this is gonna take all day. FML."
abbottizer 0
sometimes having sex with unattractive people is tiresome. give him a break
Zandruhh 0
wow thats really lame. ehh
rolfcopter 0
well maybe he was busy or didnt get it. or like someone else said maybe it didnt get delivered
Freddy_D 0
i wish a girl would text that to me...