Today, frustrated with my very energetic kids, I told them that if they dug a hole deep enough in the backyard, they'd find China. What they really found was the previous owner's dog. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was digging the foundation for what will eventually be my garage. My kids wanted to help Daddy, which means they had a front row seat with their little spades when we unearthed the skeleton of some previous homeowner's dog. Now they won’t stop crying. FML
Today, I was outside searching for "treasures" with my son using small plastic shovels. All of a sudden he starts screaming. He dug up the bones of our old dog. I told him that we had sent him away to live on a farm, I even helped my son write letters to the farm owners. FML
Today, my dog died. My parents told me to bury it out back. In the process, I managed to dig up my cat. FML
Today, I realized burying my dog underneath our swing-set was a bad idea. My two sons are now scarred for life. FML
Today, I sent my kids to play in the back garden and immediately heard them screaming. We buried our dog last week and last night some animal dug her up and spread the bones and rotting flesh around. The stench was horrendous, the kids are traumatized, and I vomited while reburying the bits. FML
Today, I told my daughter that we were going to the beach. Today, my daughter also tried to dig up our deceased dog, who we buried in our back yard last week, so he could come along. FML
Today, I had my boss and his family over for dinner. Our kids played while waiting for dinner to be ready. Just as we were sitting to eat, our 8-year-olds ran out and my son says "Look at Baxter! I found underwear with a tail hole!" They had found my crotchless panties and put them on the dog. FML
Today, my new dog unburied my old dog and chewed on his bones. FML
Today, my dog was barking at a squirrel in the yard. I opened the door to let him chase the squirrel. I went to look at the dead squirrel and found out it was the neighbor's chihuahua. FML
Today, my three idiot nephews dug up a vintage bomb while "digging a hole to China." I told them not to touch it, and went in to call the police. As I did so, they took it to a pawn shop to sell as an antique. The pawn shop called the cops on them, and the cops are now on to me as they're crying, saying selling it was my idea. FML
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Top comments
shaar_fml 33
Close enough.
mexican_music 13
well duh
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Comments (50)
Dick_diamond 22
The comments on this FML are taking a decidedly racist bent... Backing off slowly
kingnothing123x 11
"Duh" gotta put your old friend somewhere
seriouslygrowup 11
So lying to your kids have consequences you weren't expecting? Who knew!
tehdarkness 21
Totally!
dcats 13
A dog named China
jen1097 25
*dug, FML staff can you please fix it?
SadSouthernBell 18
Hopefully they only found bones. You seem creative enough to play it off well. Ancient burial grounds of a lost civilization.
ninety 25
Because the bones of dead people are way less traumatizing than the bones of a dead animal.
ohSNAPyall 27
Call before you dig in case of power lines. Call811.com
Colon_Man 17
Wait... how do you call a .com? It's "Call '1-800-Miss Dig' around here.
ILikeKoalas 24
YDI. You shouldn't just make shit up to get your kids to get off your back.
klutz44 28
Yeah, facilitating creative play and helping her kids use their imaginations and be physically active was definitely a bad call. OP should have stuck them in front of the TV instead.
iwadasn 33
Have you ever met a child? They play pretend all the time. It's actually healthy for them.
worldclassrager 41
Actually that's false but it worked right?
Destinee_1 13
I would be traumatized
laden_swallow09 35
Welcone to real life, kids.