Today, frustrated with my very energetic kids, I told them that if they dug a hole deep enough in the backyard, they'd find China. What they really found was the previous owner's dog. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was digging the foundation for what will eventually be my garage. My kids wanted to help Daddy, which means they had a front row seat with their little spades when we unearthed the skeleton of some previous homeowner's dog. Now they won’t stop crying. FML
Today, I was outside searching for "treasures" with my son using small plastic shovels. All of a sudden he starts screaming. He dug up the bones of our old dog. I told him that we had sent him away to live on a farm, I even helped my son write letters to the farm owners. FML
Today, my dog died. My parents told me to bury it out back. In the process, I managed to dig up my cat. FML
Today, I realized burying my dog underneath our swing-set was a bad idea. My two sons are now scarred for life. FML
Today, I sent my kids to play in the back garden and immediately heard them screaming. We buried our dog last week and last night some animal dug her up and spread the bones and rotting flesh around. The stench was horrendous, the kids are traumatized, and I vomited while reburying the bits. FML
Today, I told my daughter that we were going to the beach. Today, my daughter also tried to dig up our deceased dog, who we buried in our back yard last week, so he could come along. FML
Today, I had my boss and his family over for dinner. Our kids played while waiting for dinner to be ready. Just as we were sitting to eat, our 8-year-olds ran out and my son says "Look at Baxter! I found underwear with a tail hole!" They had found my crotchless panties and put them on the dog. FML
Today, my new dog unburied my old dog and chewed on his bones. FML
Today, my dog was barking at a squirrel in the yard. I opened the door to let him chase the squirrel. I went to look at the dead squirrel and found out it was the neighbor's chihuahua. FML
Today, my three idiot nephews dug up a vintage bomb while "digging a hole to China." I told them not to touch it, and went in to call the police. As I did so, they took it to a pawn shop to sell as an antique. The pawn shop called the cops on them, and the cops are now on to me as they're crying, saying selling it was my idea. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
shaar_fml 33
Close enough.
mexican_music 13
well duh
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (50)
anonamous14 9
Chinese dinner
jk_waks23 19
I hope your kids are old enough to not get traumatised by looking at the buried dog,otherwise they aren't going to be going to the backyard any time soon! Anyway,best of luck!
Bibliovore 26
If they were young enough to try to dig to China, I'm betting they weren't old enough to be unfazed by accidentally unearthing a dog corpse instead.
clairesucks 37
The dogs name could've been China, so in that case they did find China
Zebediabolical 45
The easiest way to check is look for the giant ********.
therealjc_fml 14
Served its purpose and kept them occupied though.
SweetheartSusie 20
I'm going to the deepest, darkest hole of hell for laughing at this, yes I am.
jacky75_fml 21
Doggone, are the previous owners Chinese?
ilovesoccer1610 31
Am I the only bothered by the FML saying "duh a hole" instead of "dug a hole"
CyberSeeker 20
I was a perfectly happy person till you mentioned it
abNormal62 23
Was it marinating in a lovely sweet and sour cherry sauce?
vikky538 29
Plot twist. The dead dogs name is china.
CyberSeeker 20
They probably found dinner for people from china