Today, my guy friend kept complaining that no one had asked him to the dance, so he probably wasn't going to go. I suggested that we go together. He laughed until his face was bright red and said, "I don't think I'll ever get that desperate." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, a guy I like asked me to a dance. Trying to act modest and at the same time compliment him, I told him, "You could do so much better, though." After thinking for a moment, he replied, "You're right, I could. Never mind," and walked away. FML
Today, I was at my senior dance dancing with this guy I really like. He was telling me how he likes a strong woman who's not afraid to make the first move. Empowered by what he said, I asked him out. He said no because he thinks girls shouldn't ask guys out. FML
Today, although I can't dance, I decided to go to a club. A really cute girl asked me to dance, and I politely declined. She kept insisting, so I finally said okay. A few minutes in, she stopped, looked at me, and said, "If you're going to make fun of my dancing, I'm leaving." FML
Today, I was texting the guy I like. I asked him why our friend didn't want to come to the movies with us. He replied, "She didn't want to be the third wheel, but it's not like I'm going to put the moves on you. I'm out of your league, and you're socially awkward anyway." That's just what I wanted. FML
Today, after finally asking my crush for his number, and telling him the reason being he's the only friend whose number I don't have, he laughed, then asked, "Why would I ever be your friend?" FML
Today, I was talking to my guy friend about prom. I told him I was turned down by 7 guys. So he said, "Well, you could always ask me." I then said, "Do you want to go to prom with me?" His response was, "Nope… now that's 8!" FML
Today, I was at a friend's party. All of the sudden, my friend goes, "Ok girls, get a guy to dance with." Then everyone scrambled to find someone. There was just enough guy-girl pairs. This hot girl and I were the only two left. She looked at me and said, "Umm, I have to use the bathroom." FML
Today, I was at a party. The music changed to a slow dance. Everybody grabbed a partner and I was left on the dancefloor alone. Suddenly, this guy walked up to me. I swore that he was going to ask me to dance. He then said, "Could you hold me my drink?" and went to dance with another girl. FML
Today, I finally got the courage to make a move on the guy I've been crushing on. I asked him if he would like to go see a movie with me. He answered, "Sorry, I've already seen it." I didn't even mention any particular movie. FML
Today, I went to a dance with the boy I like. To my delight, he tried to pick me up. To my dismay, he couldn't. FML
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Top comments
enormouselephant 15
Why is this guy your friend? Asshole.
Batterypost 23
I reckon it's time to find yourself a new friend.
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Comments (89)
CuriousAlien 7
Well that's obviously why, he doesn't have a date, because he's a completely rude ********. As a comeback, you should have said "Well there's a reason why you don't have a date. Most girls don't like a guy with a small dick, especially when half of it is shoved into their personality. Or "You should wear a condom on your head because if your going to act like a dick, then you might as well look like one."
rosesong2494 3
Do you have a trademark on those? 'Cuz I am so gonna steal them!
CuriousAlien 7
Haha. Please, go ahead, use them.
Luxord33 8
Three things: First: 12 I wish I could thumbs up that comment like a MILLION times! :) Second: OP please remove this friend from your life cuz he's CLEARLY a total asshole. Third: I'd LOVE to meet the three hundred people who said YDI and PUNCH each and every one in the face.
CuriousAlien 7
I agree with 1,2, and 3. Like how can you even say that OP deserved it.
Mahtari 19
Haven't you heard? All friends nowadays talk like that. Just call him worthless and laugh it off.
Hiimhaileypotter 53
Were you being sarcastic? Sorry for responding if so. But none of my friends speak to me that way, it's blatantly disrespectful. If they did, they wouldn't be considered a friend anymore. I don't know anyone who would put up with that kind of treatment.
kittenzZz 4
Only if he was joking..
Driblets 8
To be fair, my friends and I talk like that to each other but I guess that is just out special relationship because we all know we are just trying to be funny and not insulting. Sometimes when we go to far we just ask the other person to back off.
photoquilty 6
Yeah...this guy is not a friend. Ditch him.
sniken 14
Perhaps? People like that doesn't deserve anyone caring for them what so ever. Op did a kind gesture and was treated like shit. fyl op. (and remove this friend from your life asap)
TourettesGuyFTW 26
Now YOU know why he has nobody to go with. Maybe you should let HIM know too. P.S. He's a dipshit.
moonboobs 4
Found out why no one wants to go with him. He's a douchebag!
buckdharma 38
Ask someone else out. Revenge is a dish best served cold.
Enslaved 38
No one asked "him" vs him asking someone? He should try to take charge or he has no one else to blame but himself. He sounds like a jerk so I'm not surprise no one wants to date him.
doglover100 29
You need a new friend.
GhostChickens 17
Leave the daft twat to sit at home alone then. If he thinks he's so much better than you, why can't he get a date? Go have fun without him.