Today, my friend saw a stamp on my hand and asked me which club I had gone to last night. I was so desperate to seem cool that I lied, instead of admitting it was actually from a children's play group that I took my kids to. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had to lie to my coworkers about me and some guy beating the absolute shite out of each other in a bar fight, all to avoid admitting my black eye was from my 7 year old son punching me in the face the other day. FML
Today, I lied and told my friends I was a compulsive liar. Well, I think I lied. FML
Today, I made up a lie to my girlfriend so I could go to a club with my friends. My girlfriend told me that she was going to stay in and watch a movie. Guess who I shockingly ran into at the club, with her girlfriends? FML
Today, I woke up with a hangover from last night. Last night, I snuck out and went to a party at a club. To hide my hangover, I cleaned myself up and walked into the kitchen to get a drink. My mother looked at me and said, "What's that on your wrist?" I'd forgotten I'd left the wristband on from the club. I'm already grounded. FML
Today, it was Halloween, and I was giving candy to kids. When a group of kids who looked like they were around 4 years old came up to me and said, "Hey mister, do you have one of those things that make it look like you are fat under your shirt?" I didn't have one of those, but I lied and said, "Yes." FML
Today, I attended a party, thinking it was hosted by my friend. I showed up, mingled, had some drinks, and even played a couple of games. After about an hour, my friend called me and asked where I was. I'd crashed the wrong party. Everyone there was nice about it, but now I can never show my face there again. FML
Today, my Mom was gushing to a relative about going to see a very famous singer with my sister while we were at dinner. I smiled politely, until the relative asked why I wasn’t going. I felt too embarrassed to admit I hadn’t been asked, despite having the money, so I awkwardly made something up. FML
Today, I found myself lying to my diary. FML
Today, I faked being sick so I could weasel out of a chemistry test at school. Happy that I pulled it off, I posted my accomplishment on Facebook. I forgot that I'm friends with my parents. FML
Today, at a party, I tried to play it cool by pretending to know all the lyrics to a song, but ended up singing the wrong words and embarrassing myself. FML
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Top comments
EverestMelting 23
Hey at least you are a committed parent! That's what you should be proud of rather than disgracing it with a lie! Be proud of your efforts!
JACKxRAWR 22
The kiddie rave scene is pretty hardcore though
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Comments (57)
Headcrab 29
No shame in that OP. Caring for your kids and doing stuff with them, that's pretty cool in my book.
da_best_eva 9
Just be glad you didn't slip up and say that you went to a club called chuck e cheeses, that could have made the situation that much worse
Masonjar13 10
For shame.. I would have been proud to say I spent time with my kids.
Ames7X 6
OP, you shouldn't have to lie about that. The fact that you'd rather spend time with your kids, being a good mom, makes you cool. That's much better than dumping your kids off on others to go clubbing. Be proud of yourself and your choices!
imbedderdenu 23
Who cares! be proud you're a good Mama! if anyone judges you for that they arent worth being friends with. all good moms are lame lol I'm one of em
jjmiller1001 17
life is all about taking the kiddos to play groups, the park and chuck e cheese. your kids will always come first if your an awesome parent, and it sounds like you are!
breeyand 15
I don't see what's so wrong with admitting your a great parent! 99% of kids r more awesome then grown ups!!
LatvianPride 16
Be proud of who you are OP!
SaucyGirl106 18
being involved in your kids' lives is way cooler than going to a club.
sanecatlady 13
Taking your kids to places and things you hate because you know it will make them happy is a sure sign that you love them, lol.