Today, my friend saw a stamp on my hand and asked me which club I had gone to last night. I was so desperate to seem cool that I lied, instead of admitting it was actually from a children's play group that I took my kids to. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I had to lie to my coworkers about me and some guy beating the absolute shite out of each other in a bar fight, all to avoid admitting my black eye was from my 7 year old son punching me in the face the other day. FML
Today, I lied and told my friends I was a compulsive liar. Well, I think I lied. FML
Today, I made up a lie to my girlfriend so I could go to a club with my friends. My girlfriend told me that she was going to stay in and watch a movie. Guess who I shockingly ran into at the club, with her girlfriends? FML
Today, I woke up with a hangover from last night. Last night, I snuck out and went to a party at a club. To hide my hangover, I cleaned myself up and walked into the kitchen to get a drink. My mother looked at me and said, "What's that on your wrist?" I'd forgotten I'd left the wristband on from the club. I'm already grounded. FML
Today, it was Halloween, and I was giving candy to kids. When a group of kids who looked like they were around 4 years old came up to me and said, "Hey mister, do you have one of those things that make it look like you are fat under your shirt?" I didn't have one of those, but I lied and said, "Yes." FML
Today, I attended a party, thinking it was hosted by my friend. I showed up, mingled, had some drinks, and even played a couple of games. After about an hour, my friend called me and asked where I was. I'd crashed the wrong party. Everyone there was nice about it, but now I can never show my face there again. FML
Today, my Mom was gushing to a relative about going to see a very famous singer with my sister while we were at dinner. I smiled politely, until the relative asked why I wasn’t going. I felt too embarrassed to admit I hadn’t been asked, despite having the money, so I awkwardly made something up. FML
Today, I found myself lying to my diary. FML
Today, I faked being sick so I could weasel out of a chemistry test at school. Happy that I pulled it off, I posted my accomplishment on Facebook. I forgot that I'm friends with my parents. FML
Today, at a party, I tried to play it cool by pretending to know all the lyrics to a song, but ended up singing the wrong words and embarrassing myself. FML
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Top comments
EverestMelting 23
Hey at least you are a committed parent! That's what you should be proud of rather than disgracing it with a lie! Be proud of your efforts!
JACKxRAWR 22
The kiddie rave scene is pretty hardcore though
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Comments (57)
prljm10 10
Why be embarrassed? Do you really care what others think? Be honest and be proud! Only care about your kids and teaching your kids honesty
8born8 18
Loud music, a small space crammed full of people, spilled drinks, tantrums, puke and accidents. A standard clubbing night out IMO. The fact that you took your kids out and had fun with them is nothing to be ashamed of. My mum and I still go out partying every now and then. The feeling of seeing your kids having fun, hearing their laughter and watching them smile makes everything worth it. Remember that and wear the title of mum with pride OP.
SimplyEcks 15
For me at some point most clubs turn out the same and get kinda bland over time. But experiences with children I would imagine would be quite new and cool (because I'm not yet a parent but hopefully one day!) so be proud when you're out being a real parent spending time with your kids.
ELoni_fml 25
Spending time with your children is precious, don't ever underestimate the value of that
8born8 18
Please, for the love of god, don't breed.
letsgooo_fml 23
Why even lie about that…?
Credibleskills 28
Lmao, this guy... lol
tehdarkness 21
YDI for not washin your hands good.
Perry85 42
If your friend would find you uncool for spending time with your kids you don't need to be friends with them in my opinion
FuKcMee 32
didnt realize clubbing over being a good parent is the new cool