Today, my friend saw a stamp on my hand and asked me which club I had gone to last night. I was so desperate to seem cool that I lied, instead of admitting it was actually from a children's play group that I took my kids to. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I had to lie to my coworkers about me and some guy beating the absolute shite out of each other in a bar fight, all to avoid admitting my black eye was from my 7 year old son punching me in the face the other day. FML
Today, I lied and told my friends I was a compulsive liar. Well, I think I lied. FML
Today, I made up a lie to my girlfriend so I could go to a club with my friends. My girlfriend told me that she was going to stay in and watch a movie. Guess who I shockingly ran into at the club, with her girlfriends? FML
Today, I woke up with a hangover from last night. Last night, I snuck out and went to a party at a club. To hide my hangover, I cleaned myself up and walked into the kitchen to get a drink. My mother looked at me and said, "What's that on your wrist?" I'd forgotten I'd left the wristband on from the club. I'm already grounded. FML
Today, it was Halloween, and I was giving candy to kids. When a group of kids who looked like they were around 4 years old came up to me and said, "Hey mister, do you have one of those things that make it look like you are fat under your shirt?" I didn't have one of those, but I lied and said, "Yes." FML
Today, I attended a party, thinking it was hosted by my friend. I showed up, mingled, had some drinks, and even played a couple of games. After about an hour, my friend called me and asked where I was. I'd crashed the wrong party. Everyone there was nice about it, but now I can never show my face there again. FML
Today, my Mom was gushing to a relative about going to see a very famous singer with my sister while we were at dinner. I smiled politely, until the relative asked why I wasn’t going. I felt too embarrassed to admit I hadn’t been asked, despite having the money, so I awkwardly made something up. FML
Today, I found myself lying to my diary. FML
Today, I faked being sick so I could weasel out of a chemistry test at school. Happy that I pulled it off, I posted my accomplishment on Facebook. I forgot that I'm friends with my parents. FML
Today, at a party, I tried to play it cool by pretending to know all the lyrics to a song, but ended up singing the wrong words and embarrassing myself. FML
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Top comments
EverestMelting 23
Hey at least you are a committed parent! That's what you should be proud of rather than disgracing it with a lie! Be proud of your efforts!
JACKxRAWR 22
The kiddie rave scene is pretty hardcore though
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Comments (57)
omgomgomg_NO 13
you should never be embarrassed or ashamed that you are spending time with your children. They are WAY more important than going out clubbing...and if your friends do not understand that, then maybe it's time for some new friends.
Wakachulak 22
You are a parent. You will forever be uncool by default. Deal with it and move on.
doglover100 29
You are a great parent, you shouldn't be ashamed by it.
weveallbeenthere 30
kids are more fun than a club. enjoy them now while they still want to be with you.
buckdharma 38
Looking for someone's stamp of approval?
KaitlynKalopsia 15
I think it's really cool that you take you're kids out to do fun things. My mom took me to everything (book fairs, clubs, tea parties) and I really enjoyed it growing up! You're a good mommy and I'm sure you're kids appreciate you going to their clubs rather than going out partying all night.
Dontalktome 9
Think most people are right on this one. No shame in spending time with your kids. Personally, I'm not sure how I feel about a parent who leave their kids at home while they hit up a club at night.
Omniprism 15
I think you sounds cool for doing what you actually did. Maybe next time you'll have enough confidence to tell people how cool you actually are. Good luck.
buckdharma 38
Chasing after the young ones, weren't ya?
XxNightwingxX 21
You have kids now. You have to be proud of being a different kind of cool. Not the kind you used to be, or that your friends might be.