Today, my friend saw a stamp on my hand and asked me which club I had gone to last night. I was so desperate to seem cool that I lied, instead of admitting it was actually from a children's play group that I took my kids to. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had to lie to my coworkers about me and some guy beating the absolute shite out of each other in a bar fight, all to avoid admitting my black eye was from my 7 year old son punching me in the face the other day. FML
Today, I lied and told my friends I was a compulsive liar. Well, I think I lied. FML
Today, I made up a lie to my girlfriend so I could go to a club with my friends. My girlfriend told me that she was going to stay in and watch a movie. Guess who I shockingly ran into at the club, with her girlfriends? FML
Today, I woke up with a hangover from last night. Last night, I snuck out and went to a party at a club. To hide my hangover, I cleaned myself up and walked into the kitchen to get a drink. My mother looked at me and said, "What's that on your wrist?" I'd forgotten I'd left the wristband on from the club. I'm already grounded. FML
Today, it was Halloween, and I was giving candy to kids. When a group of kids who looked like they were around 4 years old came up to me and said, "Hey mister, do you have one of those things that make it look like you are fat under your shirt?" I didn't have one of those, but I lied and said, "Yes." FML
Today, I attended a party, thinking it was hosted by my friend. I showed up, mingled, had some drinks, and even played a couple of games. After about an hour, my friend called me and asked where I was. I'd crashed the wrong party. Everyone there was nice about it, but now I can never show my face there again. FML
Today, my Mom was gushing to a relative about going to see a very famous singer with my sister while we were at dinner. I smiled politely, until the relative asked why I wasn’t going. I felt too embarrassed to admit I hadn’t been asked, despite having the money, so I awkwardly made something up. FML
Today, I found myself lying to my diary. FML
Today, I faked being sick so I could weasel out of a chemistry test at school. Happy that I pulled it off, I posted my accomplishment on Facebook. I forgot that I'm friends with my parents. FML
Today, at a party, I tried to play it cool by pretending to know all the lyrics to a song, but ended up singing the wrong words and embarrassing myself. FML
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Top comments
EverestMelting 23
Hey at least you are a committed parent! That's what you should be proud of rather than disgracing it with a lie! Be proud of your efforts!
JACKxRAWR 22
The kiddie rave scene is pretty hardcore though
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Comments (57)
EverestMelting 23
Hey at least you are a committed parent! That's what you should be proud of rather than disgracing it with a lie! Be proud of your efforts!
JACKxRAWR 22
The kiddie rave scene is pretty hardcore though
MrSassypants 34
MOSH PIT IN THE BALL PIT!..... that may be a terrible idea.
wastedpenguin 14
more like an epic idea!
ZombieRaptor 5
Being a parent is a hard task, however rewarding! Don't be embarrassed of it.
worldclassrager 41
A kids club...you didn't lie...
warsun 27
The truth is kinda cooler than the lie you just told :/ Sometimes my mind is ****** up.
daisyflame 8
I actually would agree with you ;) truth is cooler than the lie
alycion 39
Very much so. I have seen too many parents ditch their kids with a baby sitter to live it up clubbing every weekend. Parenting is a commitment. And while getting out occasionally to do something non kid related is great, there is no need to be ashamed of putting your kids first. Some parents want to still be the kid. That looks more pathetic then a kid party stamp IMO.
Senseless_487 29
Who cares what they think? As long as you do right by your kids, nobody else's opinion matters.
45thTBirds 7
I tell my mom and dad the exact opposite.
ex_omer 17
Watch out! We got a badass over here!
addictedtosorrow 12
I don't mean to impress you but I must say that every weekend I go clubbing at the high class club, YMCA. You wouldn't get it, it's too high class.
Nymeria_fml 25
That's a very classy place. You can get yourself clean, you can have a good meal, you can do whatever you feel.
lexiieeex3 32
That's pretty hardcore.
yahoowizard 16
You're thinking too much about it, I doubt anyone would think a mom is boring because she isn't out clubbing when she has kids to take care of.
gear4 29
you shouldn't be embarrassed to say you had fun with your kids :) IMO, if you do, you just don't work as a parent should ..