Today, I was babysitting a two year-old. He was messing around with a silver fork and I told him it was dangerous. He then got mad at me, started crying, and stabbed me right in the foot. Be warned, even though they're little, they can still cause a lot of pain. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while babysitting, I got stabbed by a 7 year-old with a mechanical pencil. FML
Today, I was babysitting a four year-old. He was mad and began hitting me. I told him to use his words not his fists when he's mad. He then began telling me how much he hated me, and that I should go die and never come back. FML
Today, I was babysitting. I was sitting on the sofa when I felt that I need to ajust my sitting arangment. After moving, I felt a small toy snap under me. The little boy said it was fine. One hour later he snuck up on me and beat me with an umbrella for breaking his toy. FML
Today, while babysitting a 9-year-old boy, I stubbed my toe on a coffee table. I yelled, "SON OF A…" but managed to stop myself before saying the last part. The boy yelled, "You were gonna say bitch! I'm telling mom and dad!" and, despite my desperate attempts to dissuade him, he did just that. Guess who's fired. FML
Today, my two year-old cousin was having a temper tantrum. I decided to give him a flashlight because playing with it usually distracts him. It didn't. Instead, he hit me in the face with it as hard as possible, leaving a bruise. FML
Today, I was babysitting my neighbor's kid. We were playing in the yard, when he fell and got a small scratch on his leg. I gasp, and he takes a huge breath in and yells, "FUUUCK!!!" as loud as possible. The parents thought it was me, and the mother slapped me in the face. FML
Today, whilst babysitting, I broke a glass. I explained to the kid that it was very important not to walk barefoot around where it had happened, because of the tiny bits of glass. He jumped back, scared, and while doing so tripped. I rushed to help him and ran through the broken glass. Barefoot. FML
Today, I was babysitting. Everything was going well until the kid called 911 on me for making him eat his vegetables. FML
Today, I was asked to take care of my 3 year-old little brother. After 15 minutes of him screaming and me trying to keep him entertained, he started throwing his toy cars at me. He hit me in the mouth, and I started to bleed. My parents yelled at me for "not controlling him." FML
Today, I was babysitting a 7 year-old brat. He refused to eat his vegetables, so I forbade him from playing until they were finished. He stomped off upstairs, so I let him cool off for a couple of minutes. When I went upstairs, he had taken scissors to all of his mother's clothes. FML
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Top comments
khorstmye 15
That will really fork up your day.
llexibearr 17
those terrible 2's.
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Comments (51)
Sotanostash 20
Could have been a steak knife...
drunkmunkey 24
but still he was right, it was dangerous
Pootato88 15
Could have been a machete
christinamarie17 29
What sane person is going to leave a machete laying around where a 2 year old has access to it....
Coland 19
So size doesn't matter?
khorstmye 15
That will really fork up your day.
Dramori 29
Forking hell that sounds sore.
Welshite 40
He was practicing for his future career as Werewolf Hunter.
vaguenotvogue 13
Good job it wasn't a knife!
NthDakotaBeaches 12
Sometimes the small ones hurt the most
08zw 19
My question is why was there a fork on the floor? Or why did you have your foot on the table (his high chair or whatever)?
stingray112 24
At least you're in a STABle condition
Liamj774 36
I mean it's a human with a potentially sharp object. Me satan. I'm going to go with satan