Today, after being constipated a few days, I used the restroom at a bar. It took a loooong time before I got out. As I went to exit the bar, only the employees were still there, waiting for me because they had closed 30 minutes ago. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was so desperate to pee that I used the only bathroom in the convenience store I was in, which was “Employees Only.” Well, the door got stuck and I had to get an employee to let me out. FML
Today, while at work I went to use the public restroom because I had a severe case of diarrhea. All went well until the timed sensor lights went off and I couldn't leave my stall to get them back on. I sat there for thirty minutes in pure darkness. FML
Today, I was at a gas station and I went to the bathroom. Thinking some was already in the bathroom, I waited for ten minutes while people lined up behind me only to find out that it was empty. FML
Today, I was stuck in a stiflingly hot port-a-potty for 30 minutes with the worst bowel issues ever due to food poisoning. To make things worse, the maintenance guy came two minutes in to drain the thing and had to wait outside till I was done, muttering angrily at me as I took the humiliating walk of shame to my car. FML
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house. I really had to use the bathroom, but decided to wait. After about an hour, I went to the restroom. I pissed for so long that when I walked out her family all started clapping. FML
Today, after being chronically constipated for the better part of a week, I finally have the urge to poop. Too bad I'm 30 minutes early to work and locked out of the building. FML
Today, I clogged the only toilet at work. Thinking I could escape and blame someone else, I opened the door, only to see a line of people waiting outside. FML
Today, I had to use a public bathroom. I have problems going when other people are there, so I waited until everyone left. Two girls noticed I was taking a long time, and started giggling and throwing notes under the door asking if I was alive. This continued for half an hour. FML
Today, I had no choice but to use a public bathroom. I have issues going when there are others in the stalls, and apparently another person did as well. We both sat there in silence, waiting stubbornly for the other to give up and leave so we could go. It’s been 20 minutes. FML
Today, I was in a public toilet, enduring an extremely awkward silence between myself and the person in the next stall. In my rush to get out of there, I managed to get my ass stuck in the toilet seat, and ended up being pulled out by the maintenance men. FML
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Top comments
WCARlover 35
Just own it. Walk out that bathroom, hold your head high and say "wouldn't go in there if I were you"...but I'd probably find another bar to go to from now on ;)
aGMAELSTR0M 10
I suppose it could be worse. Instead of just 30 extra minutes at a bar you could've missed your whole high school graduation
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Comments (45)
WCARlover 35
Just own it. Walk out that bathroom, hold your head high and say "wouldn't go in there if I were you"...but I'd probably find another bar to go to from now on ;)
freddygasman 18
I'd walk out and ask if anyone's got a match.
WARKID2000 13
I'm sure the employees were pretty shitty with you after that.
nanner6206 24
Yeah... that didn't really turn out well. Thanks for playing. Try Again
seenoevil818 13
Now that's just a load of crap.
nykkymcallister 15
Shitty pun. See mine worked mate
aGMAELSTR0M 10
I suppose it could be worse. Instead of just 30 extra minutes at a bar you could've missed your whole high school graduation
caroline43872 24
High school? They're at a bar.
cranberries_fml 17
I think #6 is referring to a previous FML
OlRed 28
#6 is referring to a previous FML. Another reference would be i'm sure OP can't use the excuse of browsing the upstairs in this crappy situation.
kingdomgirl94 29
F their lives. It sucks to have to wait for customers so that you can go home at any job where you deal with people.
OlRed 28
True! ...but good on them for not interrupting.
vOIDmASS 13
Hell no if I'm working at that joint I'm thinking this dude is jerkin it or passed out. FYL OP but I would at least knocked on the door and asked if you fell in.
kitsuneluvuh 12
OP is a girl, dude. Kinda hard to jerk it when you don't have an it.
kingdomgirl94 29
Rubbing one out, flicking the bean, etc.
Bunnyluver 20
Hey! Using the toilet isn't the only thing that takes time in the RESTROOM. They won't know for sure what you did, until you walk out or not at all.
hellobobismyname 24
I don't think the other options are that much better or less embarrassing. Actually, they might even be worse.
Bunnyluver 20
I'm pretty sure taking a phone call isn't that embarrassing.
AlexOrban 17
I guess you could say that it was a shitty situation! ba dum tiss
WCARlover 35
It boggles my mind that people still put this comment
AlexOrban 17
I'm sorry I just had too :p
Sandsh8rk 36
You really didn't.
Ilsontfous 3
The walk of shame
Mauskau 36
At least they waited for you. I went to a fitness class which finishes when the building closes, I went to the toilet afterwards for a wee (2 mins max), came out and they had locked up and locked me in the building. I had to shout to get someone to let me out, they didn't even bother checking.
EwahWeeWah 21
SEEMS LIKE A SHIT- *neck snapping noise*