Today, I was babysitting a two year-old. He was messing around with a silver fork and I told him it was dangerous. He then got mad at me, started crying, and stabbed me right in the foot. Be warned, even though they're little, they can still cause a lot of pain. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while babysitting, I got stabbed by a 7 year-old with a mechanical pencil. FML
Today, I was babysitting a four year-old. He was mad and began hitting me. I told him to use his words not his fists when he's mad. He then began telling me how much he hated me, and that I should go die and never come back. FML
Today, I was babysitting. I was sitting on the sofa when I felt that I need to ajust my sitting arangment. After moving, I felt a small toy snap under me. The little boy said it was fine. One hour later he snuck up on me and beat me with an umbrella for breaking his toy. FML
Today, while babysitting a 9-year-old boy, I stubbed my toe on a coffee table. I yelled, "SON OF A…" but managed to stop myself before saying the last part. The boy yelled, "You were gonna say bitch! I'm telling mom and dad!" and, despite my desperate attempts to dissuade him, he did just that. Guess who's fired. FML
Today, my two year-old cousin was having a temper tantrum. I decided to give him a flashlight because playing with it usually distracts him. It didn't. Instead, he hit me in the face with it as hard as possible, leaving a bruise. FML
Today, I was babysitting my neighbor's kid. We were playing in the yard, when he fell and got a small scratch on his leg. I gasp, and he takes a huge breath in and yells, "FUUUCK!!!" as loud as possible. The parents thought it was me, and the mother slapped me in the face. FML
Today, whilst babysitting, I broke a glass. I explained to the kid that it was very important not to walk barefoot around where it had happened, because of the tiny bits of glass. He jumped back, scared, and while doing so tripped. I rushed to help him and ran through the broken glass. Barefoot. FML
Today, I was babysitting. Everything was going well until the kid called 911 on me for making him eat his vegetables. FML
Today, I was asked to take care of my 3 year-old little brother. After 15 minutes of him screaming and me trying to keep him entertained, he started throwing his toy cars at me. He hit me in the mouth, and I started to bleed. My parents yelled at me for "not controlling him." FML
Today, I was babysitting a 7 year-old brat. He refused to eat his vegetables, so I forbade him from playing until they were finished. He stomped off upstairs, so I let him cool off for a couple of minutes. When I went upstairs, he had taken scissors to all of his mother's clothes. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
khorstmye 15
That will really fork up your day.
llexibearr 17
those terrible 2's.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (51)
Tarlachia 33
Some children are born with a silver spoon in hand. The devil gifts his offspring with a silver fork. Run.
quarterbird 18
Y.D.I for not immediately taking the fork away from him.
itwasntme14 19
If you were that worried about him hurting himself you should have taken it. Most two year olds can't or won't follow instructions. As the adult you are responsible for them. You didn't deserved to get stabbed but you probably could have prevented it.
imbedderdenu 23
hell yeah they can. my daughter threw her sippy cup and it smacked me in my mouth and my lip swelled. she also tends to headbutt me in my V which is perfect forehead level. smh
bbychii 20
that's when you spank him and put him in time out
mads_fml 7
don't spank two year olds as a form of discipline! they can't associate what it is they're feeling pain for.
Lalala579121 28
Did the paramedics laugh at you when they came?
ekalfhsa 2
My brother stabbed me with a fork when he was 4, he got me right to the bone in my elbow. Little kids have no idea what they're doing but my god it hurt!
Jryan952015 7
So the 2 year old out wits an adult no surprise there
ChadHelton 8
kids are born assholes
worldclassrager 41
You just proved your point...