Today, my two year-old cousin was having a temper tantrum. I decided to give him a flashlight because playing with it usually distracts him. It didn't. Instead, he hit me in the face with it as hard as possible, leaving a bruise. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I asked my 2 year old son to clean up his toys. When I bent down to give him a good job kiss afterwards, he punched me in the nose. FML
Today, my 2-year-old son put his hand on my face, gave me a sweet kiss, and put his cheek against mine. Then he slapped me hard enough to leave a mark, laughed, and scrambled away. FML
Today, two days after losing my temper with my smart mouthed 7 year-old son and slapping him across the face, I tried to apologize by buying him a treat and telling him if anyone found out, I would get in trouble. Today, I got a call from social services about the "bruise" on his face. FML
Today, I was asked to take care of my 3 year-old little brother. After 15 minutes of him screaming and me trying to keep him entertained, he started throwing his toy cars at me. He hit me in the mouth, and I started to bleed. My parents yelled at me for "not controlling him." FML
Today, I was babysitting a two year-old. He was messing around with a silver fork and I told him it was dangerous. He then got mad at me, started crying, and stabbed me right in the foot. Be warned, even though they're little, they can still cause a lot of pain. FML
Today, my 4 year-old daughter got royally annoyed at my uncle who won't stop surprise tickling her by poking her waist. When he went for another, she punched him square on the nose, making him a laughing stock. Not accepting that he got owned, he started preaching about child discipline to me. FML
Today, my 5 year old daughter thought it would be funny to wake me up by tickling my toes. I guess one of my reflexes acted out because I kicked her right in the face. FML
Today, my son accidentally damaged another kid in the face with a baseball bat, while blindfolded trying to hit a piñata. Except there was no piñata, or blindfold. FML
Today, while shopping, my six-year-old son threw a tantrum because I wouldn't buy him a video game. I ended up having to grab his arm and leave the store. He screamed that I was kidnapping him, at which point I was socked in the face and pinned to the floor by three bystanders. FML
Today, my little brother was feeling like the god damned bratty douchebag he is and hurled a basketball at me. It missed, hit the wall, and rebounded straight into his face. He burst into tears, and I'm now grounded because my parents believed him when he said I threw it at him. FML
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Top comments
JBiz_fml 0
That sucks. And #1 you go to hell.
hans12 0
um,kid hits you hard enough to leave a bruise = spanking.
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Comments (79)
onigiriqueen 0
You gave that brat a flashlight? You dipsh*t, YDI!
rends 0
Grab the flashlight, shine it in his eyes then make a run for it
element115 0
what could have possible gone though ur head to give that
JBiz_fml 0
That sucks. And #1 you go to hell.
mf_fml 0
talk to 'em to calm them down... or at least pop a video in or something.
onigiriqueen 0
#2: The kid is pissed off, why would you give him a freaking weapon? Seriously!
dz_zb 0
not an FML.
hk_fml 9
Awwww ow. How is it not an FML, the OP was really hurt and has a nasty bruise they have to wander around with and be questioned about
tipple 0
It's called a "temper tantrum" - there's a hint in the name...
altna 4
This has to be one of the most boring ones. How these even pass? I could write 10 "FML"s like this from my life every friggin' day.
fish1806 0
that sucks. #8 why dont you post one here? or are you talking blabla?!
survivalism 0
Yeah, usually when I'm around a person in a fit of anger, I like to hand them blunt objects and expose my face. "There's no way anything could go wrong in this situation," I say.