Today, the kid I was tutoring told me that, "Pirates were a myth. Like the Greeks and Romans." He's 16. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was performing a show about pirates for a youth program. A child started crying because I wasn't a real pirate. A little girl took my defense, saying, "He's a real pirate, his teeth are all yellow!" FML
Today, while at my tutoring job, a middle school kid couldn't find a word in the online dictionary. I told him he could check a regular paperback dictionary. His response was, "That's what you did in your day. That's not what we do in our day." I'm only 19. FML
Today, a parent of one of the students I teach called me to complain that I was teaching her child "lies" and "fairytales". I was teaching them about the Holocaust. FML
Today, I got roasted in class because I could've swore that the story of Robin Hood was in the Bible. I was so cocksure of myself, but I guess I shouldn't repeat stuff my dad told me for a laugh when I was about 9 years-old, now that I'm in college. FML
Today, I had to explain to someone in my class who Gandhi really was and that he was not a fictional goblin. FML
Today, my 24-year-old brother tried to convince me that Hogwarts is real, because there is no way a person could have written that based on imagination. My parents agreed with him. FML
Today, my genius boyfriend was trying to remember a particular island in the Caribbean that was used by pirates in the past. I offered up Morocco. I heard him facepalm over the phone. FML
Today, I told my dad that I was going to sleep over my friend's house this weekend with a few other guys to play Dungeons and Dragons. He responded with, "Oh, back in my day, me and my pals used to pick on the kids who played Dungeons and Dragons." FML
Today, while I was giving a school presentation about life as an injured, deformed soldier, someone asked if the reason I wear an eyepatch is because I'm a pirate. I wouldn't have minded, had I not been presenting to high-school students. FML
Today, my 9-year-old daughter was acting out and wouldn't do her homework. I told her that if she didn't study, she wouldn't get her acceptance letter from Hogwarts. She looked into my eyes, straight through to my soul and said, "Hogwarts isn't real, retard." FML
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Top comments
ricardof 19
maybe his education was also a myth
khorstmye 15
And that is why you are there to tutor him.
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Comments (88)
kyuubi1 14
you didn't know that?? whats next? you're gonna say that the loch Ness is a myth?! Some people these days.
vreid 20
Reading comprehension these days.
kyuubi1 14
apparently you dont know sarcasm when you see it.
Emint 16
You suck at sarcasm.
acommonman 23
a real life chris griffin! perhaps you have a time machine to show him they existed, OP?
lilybadilly25 15
Quick, everybody! To the DeLorean! Forget about the space-time continuum, let's go meet us some Greeks and Romans!
nider 19
What I want to know is: what have they been teaching him in school? Assuming he has actually been going to school…
DolphinLaser23 24
Sounds like you have your work cut out for you.
fsomelife 26
I'm guessing this is the same kid who wrote the panicked email about Stalin and the moon landing.
Warmonger_Smurf 29
Time to cut the losses with this one. Make him walk the plank.
vincifer 4
you need to look up the definition of myth....
Joestarry 8
He probably also thinks Al Queda did 9/11
Jenniesaurus 14
"Pirates are a myth? Brilliant! I can go ride my paddleboat around the Somalian coastline now!"
John_in_Oz 12
I've found from tutoring that it never pays to conclude that someone's a dumbass. Ask more questions. What does he mean? Where did he get that idea? How would that work? Why would people make them up? Etc. Remember, that in fact there ARE many mythological pirates, from Captain Hook to the Dread Pirate Roberts. Did he misspeak? Was his reference to the Greeks and Romans simply a matter of them being the only people he's heard of that do have a mythology?