Today, I got roasted in class because I could've swore that the story of Robin Hood was in the Bible. I was so cocksure of myself, but I guess I shouldn't repeat stuff my dad told me for a laugh when I was about 9 years-old, now that I'm in college. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my mom blew her top when I casually mentioned that it's pretty well known that the story of Jesus is a retelling of older Persian and Egyptian stories. She then went on to yell at me that I wasted my money on college and "book learning". FML
Today, my class had a debate about religion. My classmate said that Christians couldn't be circumcised because "only Jewish people are". Without thinking, I said it isn't true because I'm Christian and I’m circumcised. I accidentally gave the whole class a mental picture of my dick. FML
Today, I worked up the courage to ask a question in a packed lecture hall. The professor repeated my question, except he'd misheard me and rephrased it into something wildly incorrect. The class laughed. Instead of correcting him, I nodded. Now half the class thinks I don’t understand the difference between correlation and causation. FML
Today, I was telling my friends a story. I added a few "embellishments" to make it more intense. One my friends piped up with, "I was with you, half of what you just said wasn't true". It's now all over Facebook and I'm known as "The Bullshitter". FML
Today, I had to make up a story about my "friends" at school so my mom doesn't keep telling I'm a loser. FML
Today, my college instructor told me I hadn't actually failed a big exam as he originally said. It turns out he'd mixed me up with another student. Now thanks to the power of gossip, half my class thinks I slept with him so he'd switch my grade with the other student's. FML
Today, I was made aware that my teenage son used "Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Hunter" as a reference point in a class debate as if it was a biopic. Oh dear. FML
Today, I corrected someone about a "fact" I'd learned online. They immediately pulled up a search on their phone to prove me wrong. It appears that I'd been confidently spreading a meme as if it were the truth. FML
Today, I finished my position paper for my social studies class and read it to my mom to get her opinion on it. After I'm done reading it, she asks me if I copied it from somewhere because it sounded very professional and smart, and it didn't sound like me. FML
Today, I told my brother a story about something I did a couple weeks ago. When I'd finished, he laughed and asked, "What grade were you in when you did that?" I'm 45 years-old and I haven't been in any "grade" since I was 17. FML
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Top comments
Chazzster 32
In general, you need to check your sources when someone tells you something that sounds questionable. OP, while this was embarrassing and Dad was wrong to bullshit a trusting child; ultimately this could be a valuable life lesson for you. If it sounds questionable, do your research before repeating it. That applies to anything... And for God's sake, if/when you have children don't repeat Dad's failing of lying to children.
TomeDr 25
I never understood why parents feel the need to lie to their kids for a giggle. My ex-sister-in-law that it was hilarious to teach her daughter the wrong words for things when she was a toddler. “Lamp” for “table”, that sort of thing. But you now live in a time where basic info is at your fingertips. Wikipedia can at least tell you the basic story of Robin Hood. Look things up before you start spouting off nonsense.
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Comments (6)
Chazzster 32
In general, you need to check your sources when someone tells you something that sounds questionable. OP, while this was embarrassing and Dad was wrong to bullshit a trusting child; ultimately this could be a valuable life lesson for you. If it sounds questionable, do your research before repeating it. That applies to anything... And for God's sake, if/when you have children don't repeat Dad's failing of lying to children.
Billsonhamsen 17
This sucks. No way can you check everything you ever learned. Your life is a lie.
TomeDr 25
I never understood why parents feel the need to lie to their kids for a giggle. My ex-sister-in-law that it was hilarious to teach her daughter the wrong words for things when she was a toddler. “Lamp” for “table”, that sort of thing. But you now live in a time where basic info is at your fingertips. Wikipedia can at least tell you the basic story of Robin Hood. Look things up before you start spouting off nonsense.
Yudith 28
I never thought someone would do the same thing as the parents from the movie Dogtooth in real life.
Yudith 28
And that's why it's important to tell your children about Santa Claus; so they can discover that even parents can lie.
cpguru24 18
wait. Wait wait wait. "I was so cocksure"??? Edit I had to look it up. Never heard that reference. I get it but .... I was cocksure it was not a word.
BurnInDemonFire 39
What part of the Bible did you think he was in? Was he hanging with Moses before God passed down the Ten Commandments? Did he manage to sneak onto Noah's Ark? Is the story of David and Goliath a lie and it was really Robin Hood who downed Goliath with an arrow? Or was he one of the other dudes that was crucified with J-Dog? I need answers, Robdamnit!