Today, the kid I was tutoring told me that, "Pirates were a myth. Like the Greeks and Romans." He's 16. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was performing a show about pirates for a youth program. A child started crying because I wasn't a real pirate. A little girl took my defense, saying, "He's a real pirate, his teeth are all yellow!" FML
Today, while at my tutoring job, a middle school kid couldn't find a word in the online dictionary. I told him he could check a regular paperback dictionary. His response was, "That's what you did in your day. That's not what we do in our day." I'm only 19. FML
Today, a parent of one of the students I teach called me to complain that I was teaching her child "lies" and "fairytales". I was teaching them about the Holocaust. FML
Today, I got roasted in class because I could've swore that the story of Robin Hood was in the Bible. I was so cocksure of myself, but I guess I shouldn't repeat stuff my dad told me for a laugh when I was about 9 years-old, now that I'm in college. FML
Today, I had to explain to someone in my class who Gandhi really was and that he was not a fictional goblin. FML
Today, my 24-year-old brother tried to convince me that Hogwarts is real, because there is no way a person could have written that based on imagination. My parents agreed with him. FML
Today, my genius boyfriend was trying to remember a particular island in the Caribbean that was used by pirates in the past. I offered up Morocco. I heard him facepalm over the phone. FML
Today, I told my dad that I was going to sleep over my friend's house this weekend with a few other guys to play Dungeons and Dragons. He responded with, "Oh, back in my day, me and my pals used to pick on the kids who played Dungeons and Dragons." FML
Today, while I was giving a school presentation about life as an injured, deformed soldier, someone asked if the reason I wear an eyepatch is because I'm a pirate. I wouldn't have minded, had I not been presenting to high-school students. FML
Today, my 9-year-old daughter was acting out and wouldn't do her homework. I told her that if she didn't study, she wouldn't get her acceptance letter from Hogwarts. She looked into my eyes, straight through to my soul and said, "Hogwarts isn't real, retard." FML
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Top comments
ricardof 19
maybe his education was also a myth
khorstmye 15
And that is why you are there to tutor him.
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Comments (88)
[email protected] 14
Tell him how satan is real.
Tzerurah 12
As a fellow kansan I am neither shocked nor surprised by this FML.
Rily_fml 6
There was a lot of mythology involved in Greek and Roman culture and Pirates weren't as we picture them, they didn't have hooks and make people walk the plank and bury treasure, and their eye patches were to keep one eye adjusted to the dark so they could see in the dark cabins under the deck of the ship. So he's actually right
EvilLittleGirl 24
I'm Greek so I'm a myth? haha thanks!
ZoroMiHawk 25
Pirates are not a MYTH!! Pirates are real and Pirates are FREE!! And he WILL become the KING OF THE PIRATES! My captain and nakama, Monkey D. Luffy!
simsgirlgem 25
LET'S SET SAIL ON THE GRAND LINE WOOOOOOOOOOOO
Ethan_Anonymous 28
Did...Did he even go to school?
thatcoolguy123 14
Did he skip 6th and 7th grade?? Oh who am I kidding he probably never even went to school...
kpetrovski 24
Looks like you've got your work cut out for you... Also, it wouldn't be unreasonable to ask for a pay increase now that you've assessed what particular level of intelligence you'll be working with. Have fun!
bunny409 14
I wonder if he's religious
TPrice21 2
Obviously not. The Greeks and Romans are mentioned in the Bible.
EverythingNerdy 13
Slap his parents, and leave.