Today, my genius boyfriend was trying to remember a particular island in the Caribbean that was used by pirates in the past. I offered up Morocco. I heard him facepalm over the phone. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend told me he wanted to drive to India. Thinking he meant Indiana, I said sure, knowing I have friends there. He said, "Bangladesh, India, here we come!" He was serious. FML
Today, my father bet me $200 that since my boyfriend is "such a stupid shit," he wouldn't be able to locate Paraguay on a map. I gladly accepted the bet. Not only did he not know where it is, he actually accused us of making the country up. FML
Today, an old friend of mine landed in Spain, where he's visiting me. After a few minutes talking about where we should meet, we realized the reason he couldn't figure out where it was, was probably due to the fact that he was in Barcelona. I live in Madrid. FML
Today, my dad asked me how I would feel about going on an all-expenses-paid, month-long holiday to the Caribbean. I was ecstatic and broke into tears of joy, saying I'd love it. He replied, "Yeah, me too. Shame it ain't happening!" then left for work, laughing his arse off. FML
Today, I ran into my boyfriend at the mall, the same boyfriend who'd told me he was going on a family vacation to Mexico. FML
Today, my boyfriend used the "this isn't working, we need to talk" line on me. How nice of him to wait this long to do so, just days after we returned from the expensive Caribbean holiday that I paid for. FML
Today, the kid I was tutoring told me that, "Pirates were a myth. Like the Greeks and Romans." He's 16. FML
Today, my fiancée informed me she wants us to go on a cruise for her birthday. I replied, "Ahhh cruise ships, the Walmart of the Seven Seas." She threw a mixer at my feet and told me I ruin everything. FML
Today, I organised a romantic day trip for me and my boyfriend to some tropical gardens. I packed lunch and paid for the tickets. He decided to bring a friend, who doesn't speak English. The only thing that he said that I understood was that, "Your girlfriend eats a lot." FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that he wanted to break up with me but it had to be after our cruise together because he doesn't want to lose out on money. Can't wait for the Bahamas. FML
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Top comments
kidclarke 15
I'm surprised you didn't say Disneyland.
jennifer93 0
Yeahhh math isnt my best subject either ;p
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Comments (309)
kidclarke 15
I'm surprised you didn't say Disneyland.
Bakayarou_fml 0
lol UK would have been a smarter guess. At least it's and island!
muhaidib 2
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
she's from Texas so it's not surprising...
CrazyGirl445 4
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
don't hate on Texas k?
PurpleRae420 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
And your dating this idiot why? He must have a big dick or big tongue or something lol
spoilt_ 15
"He must have a dick" Are you serious..?
spoilt_ 15
good correction :)
derek2143 0
56 is dumb
FarSide 23
Well OP... be glad he was on the phone. He wanted to facepalm YOU, in person. Just like me and 50 more.
FeedMonkeyking 4
All of 56's comments are disliked into oblivion. He/she is like the new gayboii.
denbeste 3
Dear OP, go back to school.
swimchica22 0
blond moment much???
amadais 1
56- i havent seen a single one of your comments thumbed up
pertained 12
thicko, lol.
shannonreneee 11
56, I sometimes believe people thumb you down now just for the hell of it.
DASmetal 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
I thumbed you down for the hell of it.
dgr8ing 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
I thumbed you down fir the he'll if it too.
herrobear 0
39, do you know anything about Texas? lol I'm pretty sure I know a little more about everything than you do as do a lot of people I know. As for OP, there's just no fixing stupid.
herrobear 0
56, why don't you just go away already? I'm almost positive you're a troll.
instnt1nfction 17
I'm a troll now imagine those words flying away with the wind
basketballpro 0
56 nobody like you
A7X_LoVeee 10
103 I was going to day the exact same thing. It seems another Chantal has been added to the FML community.
stormdude11 3
Your the idiot for thinking he's an idiot.
A7X_LoVeee 10
Hey, stormdude, it's YOU'RE.
LinkinParkPlaya 0
it's Tortuga man.. __(O.o)__/
Drigr 9
195 you have no room to talk. you said day instead of say. idiot..
imthatguythatdid 0
39 you cant be thr one saying texas is full of idiots while youve never been there so keep ur fat mouth closed and keep it to ur french ass self
JManHobbs 0
How do you know they haven't been to Texas? I'm European and I've been to 5 US States. It's not impossible to travel you know?
AAShah 0
OP's FML should be that she thought Morocco was an island.
joshijosh 0
i wouldnt say texas is full of idiots. i like it but i just hate how they beat our nba team this season
What_Willis_is_t 1
213, saying stuff like "Your French ass self" doesn't make you sound smarter...
MyCatsDEAD 0
lol
imthatguythatdid 0
**** off you asshole
imthatguythatdid 0
240 read my picture, Okay?!?! if you cant read it then take your ass back to australia. Have you ever been to Texas before? if not then shut the **** up
ShrukiantheMad 0
Oh look, an autistic american that only resorts to violence and curse words for the exciting end of his retorts. Do not ever reproduce.
imthatguythatdid 0
stfu wat if someone talked bad about ur state bad? would you let it go by so easily? and you cant be the one telling ppl they cant reproduce when u cant urself. so plz for the sake of humanity quit being a troll
imthatguythatdid 0
**** yall if yall are gonna moderate my ass okay **** yall if yall dont like texas. we could kick yalls asses so easily yall will be wishing that yall didnt talk shit about us so go back to your shitty ass countries or cities and SHUT THE **** UP
Keyman1212 14
Hey watch what the **** you say about Texas. We could crush you, no matter where you lived. And don't give me that damn argument of "Texas is a bunch of inbred gunslinging hicks blah blah blah..." Sorry we have the 14th largest economy in the WORLD. Sorry we have the military might of, frankly, one of the big five. Sorry you can't match our patriotism either. I'm not an uneducated white trash individual, I'm a college educated, medical school student. And I would defend Texas with my life. I am SO tired of people trying to make fun of Texas, when they can't even compare where they're from to here.
Keyman1212 14
No Alan, I just wanted to make a point. I don't go around making fun of say, France, even if people love to. I am respectful of other people's countries, or states.
MfailK 0
Texas blows donkey dick
imthatguythatdid 0
why are ppl always talkin bad about texas? wat did we ever do to get the shit we get all the time? Texas is the leading state that provides meat and cotton for our whole nation and probably the world. we do so much for the world and nation and wat do we get? ppl calling us " inbred white trash who doesnt know shit" we do so much but ppl give us shit for everything we do
jordy_lynne_985 0
really? how much do you contribute to that? don't say "we" if you're not actually a part of that. (I do realize that you could be a cotton farmer or something. but I really doubt it.)
imthatguythatdid 0
i do me and my family own a farm with about 10 cows on it and plenty of other animals we get are own milk and eggs but we also go to the store as well but we have a business selling milk and sometimes eggs to ppl in my neighborhood and we got a little thing going on. i do contribute but im not here to brag about it im just sayin everyone in texas isnt some place with inbred idiots. im just trying to make a point
destinycalls 0
Texas rox
bawpo 2
Lol NY>Texas. Kthx.
doyougiveacrap 0
What you just makes me want to make a the biggest genralation ever and it is Texans are idiots
idontrun 4
Texas < Everywhere else
Bergvall95 0
The truth is that
Bergvall95 0
I'm from texas, and anyone who is saying Texas > (place) Or (place) > Texas (who is actually serious, and not joking) is ignorant, the whole idea of nationalism is stupid, we all live on the same planet, there is no reason for arguing about who's greater than who. The truth is that EVERY SINGLE PLACE ON PLANET EARTH has their share of very stupid people.
PinkElephants713 6
200- that's exactly what I was thinking!! Lol
kongor 1
Texas removed evolution from text books... Also gave us bush who started wars in 3 countries which made the debt skyrocket causing the us economy to collapse... But u know. Patriotism hail jesus 911 god merica 2nd amendment constitution the flag
Zoh_Aubrey 8
He must have meant Tortuga (now Haiti) or Jamaica.
johnrdz3 24
Don't hate on Texas, assholes.
Tarak_fml 7
I would have said Somalia.....
unfortunate_13 5
gotta love that south park episode!
habest 2
Seems like the majority of FML watch South Park, that's awesome!!
xalerion 0
12-that's cause it's their speed lol
reversezebra 0
don't forget to bring a towel
ItsaMeLuigi 6
You wanna get high?
rebekahah 7
_______ killed Kenny!
comepoopwithme 0
somalia isnt an island or in the carribian, its on the coast africa. some people need to study maps more often.
PassTheDutch 0
72. I believe they were talking about south park.
Steffers183 7
Morocco is in Africa. Somalia is an island in the Pacific. It's a territory or commonwealth of Amerca. Morocco is not. I know a Somalian person.
imcen 0
58-Obviously not...Somalia is a country on the Western side of Africa. it is bordered by Ethiopia and Kenya. So before you try and impersonate somebody, you may want to get your facts straight...
TehAndyman14 5
@#88. /facepalm Morocco is on the NW coast of Africa, Somalia is on the east coast. You're thinking of Samoa, American Samoa to be precise. Western Samoa is a country in its own right as well
airforce987 20
88 - I facepalmed a second time (first from reading the fml) after reading your comment
VikingPrincess19_fml 9
72 clearly hasn't heard of the somalian pirates... /facepalm
the__usual 0
whoop de do!
LaughinStock 16
wow 88 u sir a dumbass
KYCats95 5
I would have said Tortuga.
snowboarder1417 2
95 - Somalia is on the Eastern coast of Africa....... I love when people try to correct others and are wrong themselves.
imcen 0
whoops...sorry my mistake
woosah 16
number 88.... do u know a Somalian person?
imcen 0
228-yes I do, actually. why??
zinjiitsdanaa 3
88 and 95....seriously? Go crawl into an attic.
habest 2
I'm sure it was Neverland!
milky953 0
just stop talking..
A83_fml 18
Since you're from Texas, you must be trolling.. It's too cliché
carlosestrada1 4
hmmm morocco in the caribbean?*facepalms after reading*
Laughing_Cow 0
what does facepalm even mean???
Jonnieonit 0
*facepalms at you not knowing what a facepalm is*
shibainu519 0
*facepalms after reading your comment*
mas13 0
*facepalms at having to explain* it's exactly what it sounds like!
carnage1108 0
*face palms after feeling left out of the face palming*
Exeedingmango 0
*Facepalms after you facepalmed because you facepalmed because you felt left out of the facepalming*
steeledwolf 8
*knee slap*
brandybaby1204 0
facepalm means hitting ur forehead with the palm of ur hand. like tho "coulda had a V8" commercials
shaneac 0
48, you creeper! Ahaha, I love Minecraft...
Schlimpikins 0
105- I used to have a monkey like that. it was awesome. then he died. that wasn't awesome.
bernard919lewis 0
*Facepalm after getting confused by #90's comment*
Roselinden 2
Facepalm is when you put ur hand over ur face
Roselinden 2
My bad it's when u put the palm of ur hand on ur forehead
Roselinden 2
My bad it's when u put the palm of ur hand on ur forehead
crymore007 11
*dumb voice* what's a knee slap?
ksm80128 0
*ear slap* wheezywaiter on YouTube look it up you won't regret it.
noname5067 0
facepalms after reading your misuse of facepalm
jennabug5 0
aww those monkeys are so cute !!
ShrukiantheMad 0
C-C-C-C-Combo breaker!!!
turbosupra 0
That's Awesome! *facepalms* If it makes you feel any better. My sister in law thought Brazil was apart of the 50 states up until about 5 years ago. Wait, that might not make you feel better... LOL
ThatFatGuyBehind 3
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Hahahahaha Morocco is off Africas coast fail
luvppl 6
fail. it's PART of Africa's coast.
awaywiththefairi_fml_fml 8
#7 what a douche!!! hahaha!!!
lukethe 0
It's not off of Africa... it's part of its northern coastline. Fail.
VasilisaUzhasnaj 29
A whole lot of herping and derping in this here FML.
JenL_fml 7
*faceplam at #7*
CitrusGirl 0
18- he's not a douche... he's just stupid.
YacL 15
Never mind the herpin' and derpin', there seem to be a lot more facepalms.
tree07 1
Congrats #7 for correctly using google you are more special than we thought
eatmyshortssss1 8
Don't feed the troll!
wsquah 4
omg.. look who is the epic fail?? morocco is a northern African state on the southern edge of the Mediterranean sea! talk about dumb n dumber lol
phatdaddy62 23
Umm, off the coast? As in an island? You fail!!!!
taffydude 0
Morocco is actually on the mainland of Africa you twerp #fail on you
awaywiththefairi_fml_fml 8
#18 - a bit of both! if there was six members of the spice girls he'd be stupid spice!
ILoveSomeFun 0
Both my patents are from Morocco and I've been there four times... Morocco is in the northwest of Africa bordered by Algeria, Mauritania and some other African countries on the south
unfortunate_13 5
**** your boyfriend's life. morocco isn't even an island.
ImaginaryFoe 1
I agree. I don't know why we're surprised to feel bad for you, OP. He didn't dump you instantly? Good on you! I guess it's FYL in general for being a little dim-witted.
siege10 0
lawl the boyfriend knew morocco isn't an island... I think you might be missing the point.
iloveboyswittats 10
I can't tell if OP is upset cause she realized she said something incredibly dumb or if she thinks she was right and that her boyfriend is dumb for not agreeing with her. It's hard to tell because if I said something like "my genius so and so..." I think it would sound sarcastic.
luvppl 6
lolol!!!!!! study up!!!! I may not know the island, but I would never say morocco!!!!
jennifer93 0
Yeahhh math isnt my best subject either ;p
habest 2
I love how much of a distant tangent this comment is hahaha.
rlk714 0
That is not math.... it's history/ geography
HubertPL 0
wow 36 how ignorant..
HubertPL 0
wow 36 how ignorant..
VasilisaUzhasnaj 29
Like I said..a whole lot of herping and derping.
Capt_Oblivious 10
This comment just made my whole day.
yummcookie 0
and the award for not getting the most obvious joke goes to... rlk714!
Franorox 8
lol
Mitcha857 0
we now know most people on FML don't know about geography, sarcasm, and facepalming. Greeeaaat!
RedPillSucks 33
I know, right! Geology, Geometry, Geography. Who the hell can tell the difference?!
EvilLilCupcake 10
*facepalms at 36's lack of sarcasm*
mexicotoucher 7
Pretend you were trolling.
crymore007 11
^we're all trolls on the inside ^^