Today, I was cleaning one of my disabled clients because he pooped himself, so I started to undress him for a shower. I took his dirty diaper off and set it on his bed, then I bent over to take off his socks at which point he put the diaper on my head like a hat. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I once again had to clean up a shower and bathroom covered in feces, because of client with incontinence. It smelt so bad that I couldn’t hide my reaction; the client saw my face and I could see the embarrassment on theirs. I spent the rest of the day feeling like an asshole. FML
Today, I was babysitting to make a few extra dollars. While changing one of the kid's diapers, I turned around to find the other kid gone. I turned back around frantically, only to get poop flung at my face. I guess I found him. FML
Today, while working an early shift, I was dressing a wound on a gorgeous guy, when he laughed and pointed out some granny panties next to me on the floor. I guess I forgot to take yesterday's underwear out of my pants before putting them back on this morning. FML
Today, I spent the first two hours of my shift cleaning up liquid poo after an elderly lady sat in one of our chairs and promptly let go of her bowels. I was so embarrassed for her that I even bought her a towel, underwear, and a pair of pants. She then thanked one of my coworkers for all the help. FML
Today, I made a patient really happy. I work in a long term care facility and was changing a woman's diaper. While cleaning her, I somehow managed to give her an orgasm with a warm wash cloth. FML
Today, while volunteering at a senior care center, I witnessed a woman begin to remove her trousers. Then she began tearing apart her diaper. She then began to explore her body. I was unable to stop her. FML
Today, I took a shower while my two-year-old slept. In the 30 minutes it took me to shower, get dressed, and go back to his room, he had woken up, taken his pants and diaper off, and smears crap all over himself and his bed. FML
Today, I was helping my elderly dementia client with her toilet. I reached in both front and back to pull up her pants for her. "Not too hard, nice and easy..." she said with a weird smile. I looked over to see I was actually pulling her nipple. FML
Today, I was working at my day-camp, and one of my little boys told me he had to show me something important. He proudly showed me that he'd crapped his pants. I had to wipe his ass clean. FML
Today, I was babysitting. The kid said he had to use the bathroom. When I told him to go ahead, he said he just did. He was on my lap. He wasn't wearing pants. FML
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Top comments
ICastillo 25
You're a shit head for not throwing the diaper away in the trash right away.
amillionbucks 5
I thought he was gonna put something else on you when you said you bent over...
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Comments (163)
harrypotter955 19
Well that's pretty shitty
jmayes414 5
...And you should feel bad.
goose12321 11
Sigh
BVBARMY1238 9
#2 It is pretty shitty isn't it?
Zomg_Okay 27
And people wonder why Doc flipped. This just proves my point, we see this pun on nearly every other FML.
pieman528 10
This is one of the most overused puns on FML, something original please?
DocBastard 40
There IS a method to my madness.
botanistjessica 24
When I see this pun over and over, I wonder what the hell happened to all these people that they think it's funny to say "that's shitty". It is not funny, damn it!
Jumpingmal2 7
#2, your comment was pretty crappy
amillionbucks 5
I thought he was gonna put something else on you when you said you bent over...
FrostHeart 36
I thought this FML was going in that direction as well. But still, FYL OP
igive 29
That's what we get for having corrupted minds.
keirissleepy 10
its even better your avatar is a sloth
ICastillo 25
You're a shit head for not throwing the diaper away in the trash right away.
happle 21
Seriously. On his bed of all places? Poor guy. :/
bossroyd 4
OP's new name is "********"
Enslaved 38
Has no one ever changed a baby's diaper? If you have, don't act like you never placed it on the bed/changing table to be thrown away a few minutes later after you took care of the baby's needs. It's not like the "dirty part" was resting on the bed to soil the sheets. The diaper is designed to hold its content. The OP wasn't expecting that to happen to her. Lesson leant! Keep such items, within arm's reach away from that elderly man.
TheZee 12
^ Lesson leant indeed :)
ICastillo 25
Yeah Enslaved, but if she would have thrown it away, she would have never got poop on her head. You always have to expect the unexpected.
Roevera 14
Hope she/he didn't call it a diaper in front of the client. I would have put it on their head too. It's called an attends, or incontinence product. At least as a nurse in Canada that's what we call them. The term "Diaper" is degrading and embarrassing for anyone other than small children.
Enslaved 38
I agree 100% with you. (: but sometimes it take that "one time" to realize what to be on guard for. Ex: I was once watching my nephew who was almost three at the time. Never in a million years would I think he'd crawl into my clothes dryer-- let alone, have the strength to pull the door open. Everything else was child proof. Little bugger!!!
Fsvb 32
@83 I'm thinking this man is (also) mentally disabled, because I sane, physically disabled person wouldn't do this unless he/she is a real *sshole, so calling it a diaper may not really mean much to him. Perhaps he is even so heavily disabled he can't speak or understand language.
ICastillo 25
Yeah I know what you mean. One time I was playing with my 3 year old cousin outside and the little guy started climbing fences and stuff, he was getting pretty high too. Let me tell you I didn't expect that.
happle 21
93- Or he's just bored... Normal, younger people do strange/disgusting things too.
MissMess 12
Ooooh emmm gee 83 dont call that spade a spade it's offensive!!!! **** I hate all that sensitive bullshit. A few people I know who happen to wear them take the attitude that 'I know it's a ******* diaper, so do you, so let's not play pretend mmmkay?'. I hate it when we try and wrap words around something to make it sound more acceptable.
presque_fml 11
I agree. I work with disabled children, and most of the therapists at my clinic call them briefs if the kid is older than 3.
Fsvb 32
102 Yes, I wasn't saying that isn't possible. I was just naming what I think the situation is when I read this FML, based on the disabled people I have worked with and seen. @103 Fine, so you know that person. I work with people who have low self esteem and they really need to be said that they are equal to us. These kind of words, just like we have to use disabled person and not handicapped, are also meant for the bigger crowd to understand and realize that people are people. When you say 'a disabled person' instead of 'handicapped' you are actually talking about a human being, instead of 'the handicapped', which makes it seem like it is not a human being. This is how it is explained to me and I think it makes sense.
juker369 7
Not to nitpick, but you should actually say a person who is disabled, not a disabled person. Saying/writing any disability before the person (besides The Deaf) is like telling them they are disabled before they're a person. I used to think this was stupid, but imagine having something classifying you every time people talked about you (the blonde Rachel, the liar Michael); you may start believing the fact that you're a blonde or a liar controls who you are/become. Examples of the incorrect form- He/She's Autistic, the disabled person, the retard. Correct way- He/she HAS AUTISM, the person with physical/mental disabilities, the person has a cognitive disability. - I'm a special educator
Fsvb 32
Oh yes, that sounds exactly right. I'm Dutch, so I kind of explained it the Dutch way I guess :P What you just said matches exactly the way my teacher explained it, but, then in.. Dutch! I'm not very good at explaining things anyway.
TheAspieDork 27
Or taking his socks off before taking off the dirty diaper.
Donut_Fun 2
...I am so sorry for you ;-;
heliraptor 13
Oh the shit you have to deal with.
pickles1994 18
Hey I like this comment, it's better then "that's shitty"
panicsdisaster 17
Now that's what i call a true "ass hat"
mistercrow 9
Haha, Brilliant ^_^
crazytwinsmom 25
Most appropriate use of asshat I've heard of yet.
Tali147 16
Ba dum tsss.
Kradle2022 2
thats a shitty idea,sucks for you OP
howdeedoo 22
I don't understand. What idea did OP have that was so bad?
Zomg_Okay 27
Whatever it was, it can't be as bad as 8's idea to use that pun.
WcED 8
This is just terrible. Give up commenting.
rein 8
It's not a easy job you have there. You literally have to take shit from people;) Anyway kudos to you OP for having such a noble job.
september1395 7
*insert pun about shit here*
ManInTheMachine 20
Try inserting an actual comment instead of being a smart-ass. Actually, there was nothing smart about it.
gc327072 31
And with a wisecrack and a condescending roar, MITM (after a bit of a hiatus) came strolling through the door.
False_Stupidity 42
*insert steel toed boot up #10's backside*
spankykilla 16
I'm so sorry, OP, but this actually had me laughing before I even got to the end of your FML. Just think: it can only get better from here, right?
redhedsaysrawr 18
You know what **** you. You think people with disabilities are funny? You think being born a certain way and wanting desperately to fit into society despite the weird looks and shit you get from people is just so hilarious? It's not an easy job being disabled, and I'm glad there are people like OP who are there to help them. Oh and I'm writing all this from the parking lot of my autistic brother's therapy session.
Soloman212 28
Woah there... Maybe he thinks undressing elderly people is funny? Well that would be just as tasteless, but no need to get so upset. He didn't say anything offensive. And I'm not being insensitive; my cousin has autism.
DocBastard 40
Redhedsaysrawr - Slow down there, champ. Perhaps the vision of an aide with a poopy diaper on her head caused the laughter. Ever think of that? Or were you too busy launching needless attacks on people to see that perhaps OP posted this story on this site because it's funny? In case you didn't notice, this isn't The Disabled Persons Support Group. Calm the **** down and stop being so overly sensitive.