Today, my daughter called for me to come into the bathroom. Turns out the tummy ache she'd been complaining of was actually parasites in her digestive tract. I could swear they were looking at me from the toilet. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I came down with food poisoning of some sort. After hours of scrambling to the toilet to vomit and empty my bowels, my three-year-old daughter got fed up and is now trying to potty-train me. FML
Today, I had to listen to my daughter’s explosive diarrhea while I watched TV. When she came out of the bathroom, she went white as a sheet. Apparently she thought she was alone. FML
Today, I went to the doctor for horrible stomach pains. He said I had an abnormal amount of stool in me, and that I'd need to flush it out. I called my mom and told her what happened, to which she responded, "I always knew you were full of shit, I didn't need a doctor to tell me that." FML
Today, my five-year-old daughter told me she was going to throw up. I told her to rush to the bathroom. I followed her a few seconds later, only to find her sitting on the toilet and vomiting onto the floor. FML
Today, there was a potluck at my girlfriend's house. I had a sour stomach, so I went to the bathroom to relieve myself. When I flushed, nothing happened. They had to call a plumber to fix the toilet filled with my crap. The whole family watched, noses plugged and faces cringed, looking at me. FML
Today, I got diarrhea while on a trip with my daughters. At our third stop, I had to sit in the stall listening to my 5 year-old informing everyone who came in that "mommy is stopping at EVERY bathroom to poop." FML
Today, my daughter told me her tummy hurt, but I assumed she was lying because she hates visiting grandma. About 20 minutes into the car ride, she got excited and said, "Mum my tummy doesn’t hurt anymore!" About 10 seconds later, the smell filled the car right up to the roof. It was diarrhoea. FML
Today, I was lying in bed with the worst stomach cramps ever. My boyfriend came, looked at me writhing in pain, and said, "Well at least if it's a tapeworm you'll get skinnier." FML
Today, I had some pretty bad stomach pain, so I went to the bathroom. After a few minutes, two girls walked in, taking stalls next to me. That's when my farts began to get very large and explosive. Not only did they break into laughter, they waited for me to come out. FML
Today, I was stuck on the toilet with a huge stomachache after eating bad food the day before. I got up to flush when I noticed that there was a cockroach struggling feebly in the pile of crap. I'll never know if it got there before or after I crapped. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
FMLandurstoo 9
They're gonna get you! Just like I'm gonna get Chris.
Jarvo_666 6
I chucked up a little..
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (217)
mrsekko 0
Thank you Yemkela. Totally Pinworms. We've been taking her to the pedi gastroenterologist for testing for 2 years now. We're on the second specialist at CHOP. They kept chaulking it up to heartburn and stress. (She's 10, as if.) I asked 3 seperate times for them to check for parasites! They were like, "well, she's not displaying any of the classis symptoms." Well, we discovered them on our own. Poor kid. Already had a dose of Vermox, and one again in 2 weeks. DR said 1/5 school aged kids get these in the US. PS. We are white collar, clean house, great doctor care, and vegetarian. You can get these from something as simple as shaking someone's hand, touching a doorknob, a public toilet seat, and not washing your own hands before you put them in your mouth. OR not washing your fruits and veggies before you eat them.
TheDrifter 24
I was just about to mention that... With your larger than average veggie intake they would be the most likely source as there have been a number of parasite and disease related vegetable recalls in the last few years.
itswhateveridk 0
you can't get them from shaking someones hand unless they were infected with the disease... which means they are dirty or ate raw/ infected foods. and what a quack doctor.
irockfendergirl 0
mrsekko- ignore the assholes on here that have accused you of being a bad parent or whatever else. It's obvious that you are doing everything possible to help your child. It's not like you wanted your kid to get worms. I'm sure they don't have a clue what it's like to be a parent. Good luck to you guys!
mrsekko 0
Thank you irock. You rock.
jessxoxo28 5
ew o.o
treyvionjohnson 0
poppies ya poppies ya
cookie256043 0
78- go **** yourself you dnt have to be a ass about it!
Sunshyne_Daedree 0
More like FHL than FYL. She's the one with parasites after all.
yoboihawk 2
f your life
czucke 4
they were starring into your soul!
orangeandblu 0
um... fhl!!! yuck
JokeMeister 0
WHAT WERE U FEEDING THAT CHILD?!
MurphyS94 4
So your daughter has parasites in her stomach and you're saying f YOUR life? In addition to not taking her to the doctor when she complained about a tummy ache, I'm really questioning your parenting skills...
mrsekko 0
Pls see 80. I did. For 2 years. :(
MurphyS94 4
Just because 80's doctor was an idiot and didn't check for parasites when such a test was requested, that doesn't mean all doctors would be so ignorant. If OP had listened to their kid and taken them to a doctor, at least SOMETHING would have been done instead of nothing at all.
cloudgazer 3
80 IS the OP!
irockfendergirl 0
96, yeah, it's kind of a FML for the parents as well as the child. No good parent wants to see anything happen to their child. It's heartbreaking. But what would you know about that? You're just a 17 year old kid. It sounds like OP has done a lot for the child, trying to figure out what's wrong. You can't force a doctor to run tests that they don't think are necessary. Doctors make mistakes, too.