Today, my daughter called for me to come into the bathroom. Turns out the tummy ache she'd been complaining of was actually parasites in her digestive tract. I could swear they were looking at me from the toilet. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I came down with food poisoning of some sort. After hours of scrambling to the toilet to vomit and empty my bowels, my three-year-old daughter got fed up and is now trying to potty-train me. FML
Today, I had to listen to my daughter’s explosive diarrhea while I watched TV. When she came out of the bathroom, she went white as a sheet. Apparently she thought she was alone. FML
Today, I went to the doctor for horrible stomach pains. He said I had an abnormal amount of stool in me, and that I'd need to flush it out. I called my mom and told her what happened, to which she responded, "I always knew you were full of shit, I didn't need a doctor to tell me that." FML
Today, my five-year-old daughter told me she was going to throw up. I told her to rush to the bathroom. I followed her a few seconds later, only to find her sitting on the toilet and vomiting onto the floor. FML
Today, there was a potluck at my girlfriend's house. I had a sour stomach, so I went to the bathroom to relieve myself. When I flushed, nothing happened. They had to call a plumber to fix the toilet filled with my crap. The whole family watched, noses plugged and faces cringed, looking at me. FML
Today, I got diarrhea while on a trip with my daughters. At our third stop, I had to sit in the stall listening to my 5 year-old informing everyone who came in that "mommy is stopping at EVERY bathroom to poop." FML
Today, my daughter told me her tummy hurt, but I assumed she was lying because she hates visiting grandma. About 20 minutes into the car ride, she got excited and said, "Mum my tummy doesn’t hurt anymore!" About 10 seconds later, the smell filled the car right up to the roof. It was diarrhoea. FML
Today, I was lying in bed with the worst stomach cramps ever. My boyfriend came, looked at me writhing in pain, and said, "Well at least if it's a tapeworm you'll get skinnier." FML
Today, I had some pretty bad stomach pain, so I went to the bathroom. After a few minutes, two girls walked in, taking stalls next to me. That's when my farts began to get very large and explosive. Not only did they break into laughter, they waited for me to come out. FML
Today, I was stuck on the toilet with a huge stomachache after eating bad food the day before. I got up to flush when I noticed that there was a cockroach struggling feebly in the pile of crap. I'll never know if it got there before or after I crapped. FML
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Top comments
FMLandurstoo 9
They're gonna get you! Just like I'm gonna get Chris.
Jarvo_666 6
I chucked up a little..
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Comments (217)
iAmScrubs 19
Aww, who's a cute little parasite!
whiteboy7thst 2
You are
ohioain 18
That made me crack up
missbreann 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
YDI for not taking her to the doctor!!!
FlonkertonChamp 6
i'm sure the op has now taken the kid to the doctor. it's usually not necessary to take a child to the doctor for a simple stomach ache. that's just a ridiculous waste of time and money.
JDT1020 0
That and didn't she think it was "tummy" acne.
shlumpuppatum123 0
unless you're canadian like myself and you can go to the doctor whenever the **** you want free of charge...
guckylynn 19
You pay for the doctor in your taxes.
gabletz 2
she didn't know till now dummy!
reebokkid123 14
Why the **** would she do that? if you didn't read..she didn't know the kid had living parasites in her belly..no one thinks "You have a tummy ache? let's go to the doctor to make sure it's not parasites." A tummy ache is generally treated at home..sleep..medicine..etc. I'm sure shes taken her by now..but YDI is ****** up..
mrsekko 0
Thanks reebok
pedsnurse09 0
well, if she had a persistent stomach ache she should have been taken to the doctor. I'm sure she hurt for a while before she started to pass the parasites. It sounds like a piss poor mom that doesn't take things seriously !! Next time it could be MUCH worse!!!!
courtz94 24
The persistent stomachache may have only been one day or two. That's not necessarily something to rush to the doctor for unless there's more serious symptoms with it. We have no idea how long she was actually complaining, so that's really rude to say.
CSRozell 4
fyl? more like fu she's the one that's sick
bargarlm 2
wow TMI, that's disgusting..
MittenzTheCat 12
The heck does TMI mean?
goodevilgenius 5
F your life? F her life! That sucks hardcore for her.
apcfan009 0
i think this is easily the grossest FML i've read...and i've been reading for a few years now...
nmearayta 0
don't flush them or else they'll grow up in the sewer and come back to get you
PurpleWaffles 2
You are an idiot.
skyeyez9 25
You should watch the tv show on discovery channel called "Monsters Inside Me." People getting infected with freaky parasites from traveling abroad and shit. One guy had a worm growing inside his eyeball.
cherrybitches 6
I watch that show to it's creepy
CherryBombb 0
I don't watch it anymore after the show about the human bot fly. (shudders) Don't. Look. It. Up. O.O
prettyspiffy816 6
I LOVE that show!
bingababe 16
#90 - Well damn now I have to don't I?!?! Thanks lol
SmexiLexii 3
Did they say "This is war,you are next?".If not,I don't see where the problem is.
curlyhead00 0
haha!