Today, I learnt that eating McDonald's, Twisties, chocolate, and popcorn, then regretting it and going to the gym is a bad idea. I discovered how far vomit, on a moving treadmill, can be thrown across a room. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I decided to start eating healthier, so I had fruit and yoghurt for breakfast and a chicken salad for lunch. My stomach violently rejected both meals in a fountain of vomit. I later ate a giant McDonald’s meal with no issue, and felt loads better. FML
Today, after months of avoiding fast food, I decided to eat some McDonald's french fries. Though the fries were delicious, they were not worth the agonizing 15 minutes I spent on the toilet afterwards. FML
Today, I was watching this show about fat people. I was wondering how people could let this happen to themselves. Then I looked down and saw a giant bowl of popcorn, ice cream, potato chips, and soda. I thus figured out how people do this to themselves. FML
Today, I learned the hard way that when sick, throw up, then have diarrhea. Not the other way round. FML
Today, I was feeling really good about going to the gym for the first time. That was until I got so worn out from my “warm up” on the treadmill that I had to go home and spew. FML
Today, I spent an hour and twenty minutes throwing up at a toilet from a shopping mall because I ate rotten food without realizing it. At least during that time I made two new friends, a gay couple who were making out in the next toilet cubicle. FML
Today, after a horrible day at school, I went through the McDonald's drive thru for an ice cream cone. Everything went well until I had to pull a sharp turn. The ice cream is now no longer on the cone, but instead all over my hands, face, steering wheel, and the carpet. FML
Today, I started my new health kick with granola for breakfast, salad for lunch, and hitting the gym after work. I was so proud of myself, until I couldn’t take it anymore and binged at McDonald’s. My health kick lasted 11 hours. FML
Today, imagine you’re trying to be conscious about your spending habits, but you’re sad and so you decide to buy food, even though you have food at the house, then you eat it, enjoy it… then throw it all up. FML
Today, I tried to swallow a spoonful of cinnamon. I ended up vomiting chunks of burgers, all while bleeding from the nose and suffering throbbing testicles. I then had to clean it all up. FML
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Top comments
ceddyz17 10
sounds like a feast for a champion
barlessprison 16
You mean you had to experience it to figure out it was a bad idea?
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Comments (215)
Buckeyehead 0
you're retarded
ceddyz17 10
sounds like a feast for a champion
sterlingarcher 1
are you stupid? why would you do that??
ydi_4_suking 20
i see nothing wrong with that
ceddyz17 10
I was being a smartass
GreenBud_fml 0
so tell me. how far?
PassTheDutch 0
**** mcdonalds. Wendy's ftw. I like your new pic archer.
iAmScrubs 19
If you were regretting it, then you shouldn't have gone to the gym.
sterlingarcher 1
lol 13 I was talking about OP :)
ydi_4_suking 20
**** wendys. with their nasty ass fries and burgers that get cold a minute after you get them
ceddyz17 10
haha okiedokey cutie pie
PassTheDutch 0
44. **** you. that shit happens at any fast food restaurant. think about the people that work there. they don't try to hard to make the food good. but when the food is fresh, Wendy's.
iluvhobos 5
YDI for saying "learnt" because it's hardly a word.
iAmScrubs 19
57- I'm not sure if your comment was sarcasm or a joke that is going over my head. If it is, it is my fault, but how can something be "hardly" a word. Either it is a word or it isn't and in the case of learnt, it is definitely a word.
falluke17 0
archer ftw!!!!!
YayaInLalaLand 0
60, it is hardly a word, because of the fact that it is a very old word used during Victorian and Shakespearian times. Actually, it is being taken out of English dictionaries due to the fact that it is no longer the proper use when it comes to speaking in past tense.
iAmScrubs 19
I see your logic but I think in some parts of the world, it is still a very appropriate past tense form of learn. OP is from Hong Kong and learnt might be an accepted word there.
manzanita2121 6
You would think after eating McDonalds you would feel bad.... not after your done eating for the day.
imacreeper 3
and that my friend is why there is a P90X. you could have avoided making yourself look like a fool in public and vomited at home.
ericownz101 0
is anyone besides me wondering wtf a twisty is?
pertained 12
Chunder cats are go!
Kn0wledge123 21
I'm still wondering how she thought eating McDonalds, chocolate, and popcorn would end up well...
Heather_x0x0 6
op probably should have worked out the day after...
mandywaffles 0
It's a snack food, kinda like potato chips. I haven't seen them in the US but I think they only sell them in Asia and Australia. :)
littlejord007 0
there like these weird popcorn things, you can get them in Canada and there soooo good
cesfire 0
datz why there's insanity
hayq 5
twisties are sort of like crisps,
tkdgold03 5
I'm doing that right now, there's a reason it's called insanity! haha
theUBERcomment 1
breakfast for chumpions maybe
littlemissFYL 5
don't regret anything that made you smile =D now OP, did that greasy ass food making you smile? i think not. probably gained you a couple pounds if anything.
littlemissFYL 5
*make. I've said it once, and I'll say it again. **** you spellcheck.
HugeRedRash 0
wow this retard said he learnt.
fml_psl 0
Take it easy
lareske 0
YDI Retard!
JasonThorn 23
Yes, what is the result for this exercise in MISapplied Physics?
barlessprison 16
You mean you had to experience it to figure out it was a bad idea?
hollisterluv9 0
the wording on this FML bugs me for some reason
WiderWille 11
I don't know, the idea was actually pretty good. I mean, she worked out and all the food left her body before she could become fat. Sure, putting your finger in your mouth works too but sounds way more crazy and unhealthy.
Soloman212 28
Oh my god... GENIUS!!!
SCREAM4meeee 0
Wow, you must have been really hungry...
RyanMacVey 17
take away the feeling guilty and the gym and there would be no problems (:
brianjman14 23
Then there would be no FML, and what fun is that?
lifeisabitchandy 2
Why does everyone hate you gayboii?
theUBERcomment 1
cuz he's gay
staceysgenesis16 0
i dnt hate u !!! :] lololol
hollylollyxoxo 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
too bad you didn't learn that "learnt" isn't a word!
YacL 15
Learnt is a word... isn't it? Because my spell check isn't botching about it
barlessprison 16
Too bad you didn't learn that not everyone is from the US.
rainbow_eyes84 0
Learnt is a word. Look it up!
SeasonedLemur 5
Hahahaha what would you say instead!? I learn-ed to drive today? You're an idiot!!
bengermin 5
Has OP learned about, commas in a list, or about comma splices?
Asstonia 1
dude, he's Chinese, give him a break
cptmorgan15 2
6, it's people like you that make me hate people from my own country. Stop being so damn ignorant.
GreenBud_fml 0
6- fool of the day.
YayaInLalaLand 0
20, "I learned to drive today", isn't proper sentence structure. It would be, "I learned how to drive today". You fail.
iAmScrubs 19
6- you just got shown up by at least 8 people.
YacL 15
How do you feel guilty eating McDonald's? Suuure, it's fattening, but... okay, I understand. Next time... wait longer to go to the gym? I don't know...
primadonna9396 16
I'm just thinking OP is lucky she didn't shit herself at the same time.
0opsie 6
You shouldn't feel guilty about pigging out once in a while unless you do it all the time. Next time, wait an hour after eating before trying to work it off.
CitrusGirl 0
Projectile vomit. It's scary.And it's coming to get you.
mandiegayle 0
lol
alakomonus 0
153 are those your real eyes? or contact lenses
360XBOXFTW 0
probably contacts, if not she is the most badass person alive.
CraneTG 0
there's this girl at school who has one brown eye and one blue eye and doesnt use lenses.. as you said pretty bad ass 0.0
wikkedphuka 0
ofcorse those r her real eyes i know lots of people who have one green n one purple eyes..... my cuzin has pink eye lmaoooooooo
lil_ham1644 29
Projectile vomit, coming soon to a gym near you
SeasonedLemur 5
Bahahaha Gross! In my old gym the rowing machines were right behind the treadmills too! some unsuspecting boat enthusiast could have gotten a tasty facefull!
thisguy22 33
1, how is that relevant? and 2, if the rowing machines are behind the treadmill, wouldn't the vomit be going in the opposite direction?
SeasonedLemur 5
1. couldn't care less 2. no
hayq 5
the vomit hit the treadmil band and flew backwards, into the face of the unsuspecting rower!
deaper 16
yeah but if it was PROJECTILE VOMIT it wouldn't hit the treadmill in the first place! UNLESS she was looking down at her feet as she walked... what would really have sucked was if there was another treadmill going right in front of her and the vomit hit that treadmill and got sent flying right back in her face!