Today, my daughter told me her tummy hurt, but I assumed she was lying because she hates visiting grandma. About 20 minutes into the car ride, she got excited and said, "Mum my tummy doesn’t hurt anymore!" About 10 seconds later, the smell filled the car right up to the roof. It was diarrhoea. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my daughter called for me to come into the bathroom. Turns out the tummy ache she'd been complaining of was actually parasites in her digestive tract. I could swear they were looking at me from the toilet. FML
Today, my five-year-old daughter told me she was going to throw up. I told her to rush to the bathroom. I followed her a few seconds later, only to find her sitting on the toilet and vomiting onto the floor. FML
Today, I had to listen to my daughter’s explosive diarrhea while I watched TV. When she came out of the bathroom, she went white as a sheet. Apparently she thought she was alone. FML
Today, I got diarrhea while on a trip with my daughters. At our third stop, I had to sit in the stall listening to my 5 year-old informing everyone who came in that "mommy is stopping at EVERY bathroom to poop." FML
Today, I rushed my wife to the ER because she was having abdominal pains. She was crying in the car and very faintly said, "If I die, our daughter goes to my sister and they get everything in my will." We later found out she was just having a bad gas problem. FML
Today, while driving home, my 3-year-old daughter told me she had to poop. I told her that she would have to wait until we got home. When we got home, she pulled down her pants and shat on the floor, because, "I'm home now." FML
Today, my mother had just got home and we were both in the kitchen. She then starts to get out food and I smelled deviled eggs. Delighted, I asked, "Do I smell deviled eggs?" She turned around laughing and announced she'd farted. I effectively got hungry from my mother’s fart. FML
Today, I was working at a children's play centre, and my stomach was twisting and turning. Thinking no one was around, I let out a small fart, only to turn and see a little girl running to her mom, yelling, "Mommy! Mommy! That lady just farted and it sounded like daddy!" FML
Today, my mother bolted into my room and let out a huge fart that smelled like rotten meat because she wanted to prove a point, that she had been having intestinal problems for three days. FML
Today, I drove a friend to the emergency room because he thought he had appendicitis. While sitting in the waiting room, I got puked on by a child. My friend's diagnosis? Gas. So he also farted all the way home. FML
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Top comments
tounces7 28
I'm more concerned that visiting your mother is so awful for her that you think she would fake sickness. Like maybe she shouldn't be forced to see her if she's that bad?
BurnInDemonFire 39
My parents learned a similar lesson when they thought I was faking that I was going to be sick, and they claimed that I was jealous because it was my brother's birthday. A stream of projectile vomit later, and they finally admitted I was right, and I had food poisoning. I've never been able to trust them with food since.
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Comments (15)
BurnInDemonFire 39
My parents learned a similar lesson when they thought I was faking that I was going to be sick, and they claimed that I was jealous because it was my brother's birthday. A stream of projectile vomit later, and they finally admitted I was right, and I had food poisoning. I've never been able to trust them with food since.
anayanci1 6
Same happened to me
tounces7 28
I'm more concerned that visiting your mother is so awful for her that you think she would fake sickness. Like maybe she shouldn't be forced to see her if she's that bad?
snake_gal 8
I never liked going to grandma's it wasn't her fault, I just found it too and was forced to go, when I'd rather play with friends or relax after a long week of school etc. might be same
snake_gal 8
too boring*
Sofia94_fml 15
One time we were walking for some place to home and I felt like shit. I kept saying I don't feel good the whole and kept asking if we could get a ride instead and my mom thought I was just being lazy. When we reached home, threw up all over the floor.
iZ 5
That's why I don't care what the persons age is, and my first question is "Do you have to go to the bathroom?" because half the time... that's the answer
PenguinPal3017 19
Now that's what I call a sticky situation!
Dave_Davington 34
You spelled shitty wrong.
maroongrad 13
Well, that stinks.
maroongrad 13
Um, kids usually LOVE visiting the grandparents. Are your parental warning bells not going off??? Hopefully she got out of this visit!
TumblrweedPasses 11
I will never be ready for children Nope nope nope
Miss_z_b_m 4
A similar thing happened to my daughter. She told me she felt carsick and I told her she was lying because she had only recently claimed she was feeling carsick because her best friend had said she was.... 2 minutes later my daughter vomited in our car... for me it was lesson learnt the hard way.
1gullible_bugger 34
I've been there too. I remember when I was about 7 years old traveling home from the beach with my bucket of crabs. ended up using the crab bucket as a barf bucket. those poor crabs. I also remember in 5th grade telling my mom I was sick, she didn't believe me. when I ended up puking all over the classroom, and she had to come to school to pick me up, she believe me then