Today, I went on a blind date. We were walking in a park when I noticed a funny smell. I looked down and realized I'd stepped in dog crap. I tried to nonchalantly rub it off on the grass, but instead hit a patch of wet grass and slipped onto my butt, right into a pile of goose poop. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my date took me to visit his farm. As we were walking, a wild rabbit darted past me and startled me. I tripped and fell face first into cow dung. FML
Today, I was walking my dog when, as usual, he did his business in the grass and stepped off to the side. I squatted and reached for the bag when my dog spotted another canine. He lunged forward in excitement and I landed face forward in the feces. FML
Today, I went on a blind date. We had agreed on meeting in front of a park. Thinking I was there first, I texted her "I'm already there, sitting next to the fat chick." I heard a beep. SHE was the "fat chick." FML
Today, while finishing up raking leaves, I decided it would be a fun idea to jump into them. After rolling around in the leaves for a bit, I smelled something funny. Turns out I was rolling around in dog shit. FML
Today, I was walking my dog when he did his business. He then stepped all in it and coated his paws. As I was struggling with him, I slipped and landed butt-first into his steaming pile. My boyfriend nearly fainted from laughing. FML
Today, I went on a blind date. My date turned out to be very hot, and I had high hopes. That is, until she ran her hand through her hair as she approached, sending some kind of horrifying, miasmic mist of dandruff and dead skin floating through the air behind her. FML
Today, I stepped in a pile of dog shit. While trying to get it off by wiping my foot on the grass, I stepped in another pile. FML
Today, after frolicking in some long grass near a lake, my dog got back in the car smelling strongly of poop. Upon further investigation, I discovered that a sewer had overflowed in the area. My dog rolled around in human faeces. FML
Today, I was at the beach and fell asleep in the sun. When I woke up, there was a blob of sunscreen on my leg. Thinking it was my boyfriend who was sweet enough to squeeze sunscreen for me, I rubbed it into my leg. After smelling my hands, I discovered it was bird poop. FML
Today, I was walking my dog when he stopped in the middle of the street and took a dump. I looked around furtively but saw nobody, so I just kept walking. I stepped in it on the way back home. FML
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Top comments
CallMeHush 1
Thank god your date was blind and didn't see it eh? That would have been embarrassing.
thegr8dane 0
so, any bets on how many "shitty situation" puns we're gonna see? this, of course, including variations thereof...
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Comments (46)
thegr8dane 0
so, any bets on how many "shitty situation" puns we're gonna see? this, of course, including variations thereof...
SenorSiesta 0
I guess you could say she was having.... ... a crappy day (YEEEAAAAHHHH)
kingston52 0
the dog crap thing isnt so bad, it happens to everyone but the goose poop ist bad at all geese poop is dry and solid, it wouldnt mess anything up, you could just dust it away
SeedlessMe 13
That would be rabbits--- Goose poop does come out wet and mushy ;-)
SeedlessMe 13
And FYL op, but hey-- if she didn't run screaming from that, You've got a keeper!!
asher888 11
16 you forgot the shades.
detroiter 0
Pointing out the shoe shit would have likely been humorous & you could have then not had to try to sneakily get it off your shoe therefore not fallen in the goose shit.
davidhasmorefun 0
there are geese out at this time of year? I call fake on this one.
Lonely_Lez 0
I agree. Geese, in Washington state, in January. Does not compute.
andydawg8891 0
It's possible (but not likely). I live in PA and we have a park that's located down stream from a power plant. The foul there never leave because the water is fairly warm all year round.
grasshoppa 0
when it rains it pours
tkdkid33 0
fake
Wileypube 0
It's funny 'cause there's poop.
bertiebass1 5
smoooooooth
JKr3slEMO 5
aww that dog is so cute*-*
me5 0
So funny almost unbelievable!
vansbabe66 0
hahahha
CallMeHush 1
Thank god your date was blind and didn't see it eh? That would have been embarrassing.