Today, I was walking my dog when, as usual, he did his business in the grass and stepped off to the side. I squatted and reached for the bag when my dog spotted another canine. He lunged forward in excitement and I landed face forward in the feces. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was walking my dog when he stopped in the middle of the street and took a dump. I looked around furtively but saw nobody, so I just kept walking. I stepped in it on the way back home. FML
Today, I was walking my dog but every time he looked like he was about to "go", he became uninterested with the spot and kept walking. I, following behind, tripped over a bump in the sidewalk and face planted. My dog then finally urinated, all over my aching body. FML
Today, I was walking my dog when he did his business. He then stepped all in it and coated his paws. As I was struggling with him, I slipped and landed butt-first into his steaming pile. My boyfriend nearly fainted from laughing. FML
Today, I stepped in a pile of dog shit. While trying to get it off by wiping my foot on the grass, I stepped in another pile. FML
Today, I took my dog for a walk. He started crapping on someone's lawn, then I noticed that the owner was outside and giving me a death stare. Not knowing what to do, I picked up the crap with my bare hands. The man started laughing at me. FML
Today, I was walking dogs for the animal hospital I work for. I accidentally dropped the leash, and in my haste to retrieve it, I frantically grabbed the ground. I got the leash, and a handful of fresh dog poo emitted from the dog I was walking. FML
Today, while walking my dog in the darkness, I bent down to pick up his poop. I screamed like a little girl as his morning turd leapt up my arm, covering my hand and jacket sleeve in soggy poop. My dog had curled one out onto a dozing frog. I skipped breakfast. FML
Today, I was walking my dogs when I noticed one of them had found something, and was eating it. After my command to "drop it" went unheeded, I took it upon myself to scoop it out of her mouth with my finger. After getting it all over my hand, I realized it was a piece of another dog's poop. FML
Today, today while walking my dog in a different part of town, a man ran screaming out of his house, and threw a plastic bag at me. It was dog poop. It was the first time I'd ever walked in front of his house with my dog. FML
Today, I was walking my dog and he stopped to take a crap. While he was doing his business, I saw something white coming out of his butt that just wouldn't budge. He started whimpering and I stepped in to help him. I pulled out an entire plastic bag. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
allmidnighteyes 11
Oh, this brings a whole new perspective to getting shitfaced...
yaddameena 0
haha sheeet man. literally.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (60)
unfortunate_13 5
this site gives so many great arguements for why people shouldn't keep pets.
Gregory7 0
lol u should see the fml that im trying to get up about my dog
MimiKnox 0
yeah true.....but shit happens right? (no pun intended)
allmidnighteyes 11
oops ignore this one. comments are messed.
QWERTYDave 0
Uhm you are mean to dogs. And if this happend to me, I'd take that dog home, beat the shit out of it and then give it a bone, say sorry, feel satisfied and have a dog that still loves me...
GreenHacker 0
YDI for not cleaning up after your dog. And for being weak.
SKYblue_fml 1
I think I just threw up a little... :
popoman 0
Yum!
yaddameena 0
haha sheeet man. literally.
Raiders714 0
That's frigin hilarious lmfao
Jiplo 18
It's even more so when you imagine OP's dog being a small dog like a Wiener dog or something.
allmidnighteyes 11
Oh, this brings a whole new perspective to getting shitfaced...
redbluegreen 41
I thought we proved that with a few other FMLs. The shit just keeps flying in, doesn't it?
allmidnighteyes 11
Gurrl, it's a ******* shitstorm.
timtam24 0
oh dude that's so shitty
zach329 0
What does OP mean?
MimiKnox 0
Optimus Prime
null_fml 11
Ostrich Piss
allmidnighteyes 11
OMNOMNOM PANCAKES
timtam24 0
Oversized Penis
allmidnighteyes 11
Octopus Placenta
flying_vegan 0
Old Porpoise.
unfortunate_13 5
haha the pancakes one wins!
allmidnighteyes 11
The moon mistress LIES through her HEATHEN teeth. Clearly, her being a moon mistress makes her a pagan deity, one NOT of the Church of Salem, which is punishable by DEATH. She shall be burned at the stake on the morrow on account of her being a witch, gentlemen.
redbluegreen 41
Orange Peel!
og_loc 0
C-c-c-c-c-combo breaker.
Ohnothingreally 0
But allmidnighteyes, that's judging someone because of their religion. And that's bigotry. Oh my God, allmidnighteyes is a racist, what shall we do?!
allmidnighteyes 11
Thou art a traitorous swine! WE SHALL BURN YOU ALONGSIDE THE HEATHEN LUNAR GODDESS!
plexico 4
Ornithological Pederast aka, Chickenfucker
freepwnyride 0
THE HEATHEN SCUM MUST BURN!
AAAAHHHH12 2
Orange Porpoise.
FMLandurstoo 9
orgasming poptart
skyjayq 10
it means original poster but all the fake ones made me laugh
yaddameena 0
op: your gonna get ****** up the butt(:
MissNat_fml 0
ewwwwwwwww
timtam24 0
.