Today, I tried to lose my virginity to my boyfriend of a year. We're almost twenty. In the end, we both chickened out and played Pokémon instead. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend and I decided it was time to lose our virginity. After our clothes were removed, we spent 30 minutes trying to figure out how to actually have sex, and eventually gave up. FML
Today, I was about to lose my virginity. I couldn't get it up. FML
Today, I lost my virginity. In the middle of it, he just gave up and said he wasn't in the mood anymore. Then I had to listen about his past failed relationships for over an hour. FML
Today, I finally lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It hurt like hell, was over in less than a minute, and he tried to reuse the condom for a second round. FML
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend of 7 years. He thrusted as fast as rabbits. I waited years for 10 seconds. FML
Today, I decided it was time to lose my virginity to my boyfriend. After about ten minutes he started going faster and his stomach was slapping against mine. It was making a weird sound so I started laughing. Apparently that wasn't sexy and he went soft. My first time and we didn't even finish. FML
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It lasted about 20 seconds, and he cried during it. I later heard him telling his friends he'd given me a "damn good pounding" and "made her cum 3 times". I wish. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I tried to have sex. Foreplay was amazing, but as soon as he started to get it in, he lost his erection because he was too nervous. He's a 30-year-old virgin and this has happened at least 10 times. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were going to have sex for the first time. He didn't know how to take off my bra and insisted that he'd figure it out on his own. He gave up a couple of seconds later and played video games instead. FML
Today, things were getting heated with my boyfriend and I told him that I was finally ready to lose my virginity. Clearly he couldn't wait to get started because he fell asleep. FML
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Top comments
sugarysofalof 22
Much more fun and less painful :) but don't worry about it, maybe it just wasn't the right time. You guys will get there, OP :)
Zestus 19
sex is overrated anyway. pokémon ftw.
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Comments (329)
damaniii 7
It just looks like you relationship hasn't Evolved yet.
Cheeley 17
They just pressed B to delay it this one time.
perdix 31
That's kinda cute. Keep your childhood going as long as you can. There's a hell of a lot of time to be an adult. Two virgins losing it to each other is probably going to be the worst sex ever.
coried91 28
At least they can figure out where to put what together.
Jackel0228 12
Maybe that's true, but at least they'll have fun figuring it out together... For 3 or 4 minutes anyway. Lol
perdix 31
#29, that long? I was lucky to lose it to a slutty girl who really knew what she was doing. The time span "minutes" didn't come into play :(
macystar 14
#33, three pump chump, eh?
perdix 31
#60, pretty much, yeah, back then. I've improved a lot since then;)
RedPillSucks 33
3 pumps? You sucker. I was part of the minute man brigade Yeah. My ex needed a whole brigade of minute men to keep her satisfied (sniff).
laurenasabutton 26
My partner and I were both virgins when we first slept together and it actually wasn't awful! It was a bit awkward and it's certainly improved since, but not the worst sex ever!
swick25 22
#80, I agree. My first time was not painful. It was just awkward as all hell. But we got over it and had 3yrs of pretty good sex for being in Highschool. It made me realize what I like and dislike and we both learn from it. That is what makes sex so good, you learn what you want then and it makes your sex life so much better in the long run!!!
bleu0784 6
They're 20.
Sports_guy3 28
Correction: Almost 20. And such a good waste of a comment.
EyesofStone 27
OP here. We wound up having sex a few months later. It was pretty good and we both enjoyed it. I'm glad we waited until we were less nervous because being scared the whole time would have sucked.
Mynamewontfi 40
I think that's cute, atleast you're both ending up playing something that you both enjoy. No need to rush losing your virginity, it will happen eventually when you are both ready.
RabbitOfAurora 28
There is absolutely nothing at all wrong with that ♥
Steve95401 49
Your boyfriend should have played "poke her" instead of Pokemon.
RpiesSPIES 27
That'd only work if her bf were Canadian. Then the wordplay would be: Poke-eh As opposed to Poke Since it's pronounced 'Pokémon.'
smokecloud_ 37
Poke her, mon! *jamaican accent*
Ins0mau 20
Poke your mum?
dreadbeat69 12
He wanted to squirtle on your jigglypuffs but ended up barely getting a pikachu
snugglesMcGee199 23
That right there is brilliance.
polluxdc 10
Pokemon sucks, but that is excellent wordplay!
swagboi101 4
I LIKE THAT COMMENT
purebliss_fml 19
Pokemon role play? No but seriously, there's no rush! It'll happen when you're both ready.
ElectroThunder28 16
I like it. :-)
sdroze1389 31
the internet, where you can be terrified of the next pun. there are so many pokemon jokes, and the surface has hardly been scratched.
x_the_lancer_x 13
Well at least it was both of you chickening out and playing Pokemon instead of just one of you turning the other down for Pokemon. Which still isn't too bad of an alternative anyway xP But still. At least both felt the same way, not being ready. Being pressured is definitely not how you want it to happen.