Today, I asked my 13-year-old son if he thought he was mature enough for a talk about "the birds and the bees." His response was, "They fly, so what? Why would I care?" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I came across one of the pitfalls of having open discussions with my 15-year-old son when he asked me how to shave his pubes. FML
Today, I tried to talk to my teenage son about healthy masculinity. He said, "Yeah Mom, I know. Lift weights and eat red meat and fish. Can I go?" Not what I meant at all. FML
Today, I overheard my 11-year-old son giving my 8-year-old daughter the sex talk. FML
Today, I went on a plane and was sitting next to a mom with her 12-year-oldish daughter. Apparently, they decided to have "The talk." On the plane, right next to me. I heard everything, and actually learned new things. I'm 35. FML
Today, in the middle of the supermarket, my 7 year old son asked me what a cocksucker is and why his mum always calls me that. FML
Today, after church, my 5-year-old son asked me about God, so I answered his questions in full. We talked about God for over 2 hours. At the end of it all, he pondered for a moment, before saying to me, "That's the stupidest thing I ever heard. You're dumb." FML
Today, my 8-year-old son told me to grow a pair and man up. FML
Today, I found my son's porn. I would sit him down for a talk, but the genres were so disturbing that I'm afraid to even ask about it. FML
Today, I sat my son down for the sex talk. By the time it was over, he'd corrected me on several factual errors and told me what felching is. Now I remember why I never wanted kids. FML
Today, I presented my child with the classic "Who came first, the chicken or the egg?" conundrum. In return, I got a detailed lecture on how birds evolved from dinosaurs, how life was created in the sea and an explanation about evolution. I got schooled by a 9 year old. FML
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Top comments
mike3775 39
I never understood why people phrase it that way. When I’m going to talk about sex with my kids, I just say so.
DoctorPALO 14
1...why is he deciding if he's mature enough for that? 2...tell him it's time to talk about sex and personal protection.
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Comments (13)
mike3775 39
I never understood why people phrase it that way. When I’m going to talk about sex with my kids, I just say so.
Wadlaen 24
I'd wait a little while still for that conversation😅
DoctorPALO 14
1...why is he deciding if he's mature enough for that? 2...tell him it's time to talk about sex and personal protection.
bleachedraven 14
13 is a fine time to talk about sex and protection. Obviously he needs to wait before actually having sex, but being educated is good.
Bogrbon 27
If you haven't explained things clearly by the time he's 13 you're way behind the boat and doing him a disservice, since he's already likely in puberty. Also, don't use a lot of euphemisms and all that. Explain it clearly to him, using the proper language and without shame or embarrassment and the minimum of awkwardness you can manage. You want him to have accurate knowledge about sex and his body, and you want him to actually be able to come to you with questions and not google. (I mean, if he learns about sex from google he's likely gonna get a really ****** up view of it, given the amount of bullshit and **** out there.)
Billie-Jo 9
A lot of kids will have sex by that age, parents should have that talk when kids are still little.
QueenSaru 28
13 seems a little bit late to me tbh, but then again I don't have kids. Just going to be honest that even when the internet was new, I can tell you what I googled at that age... so... with everything on it now, this seems like a bit of a 'after the horses have left the barn' situation. Also, agreed with the user who said don't use euphemisms. If you want, buy a book on sex/puberty like my parents did with me, and then go through it together but let them also read it on their own and come to you with questions. Don't be embarrassed, don't use 'cutesy' names for things, just be factual. The more honest you are the less likely they're going to go to other less reliable sources for information. Also for the love of christ, please teach your boys about girls and vice versa. The number of grown men who don't understand periods or even where we pee out of is too damn high.
Jessika Jensen 7
I would not sugar coat it. It is sex. Now, everyone let's say it together, "Sex. Sex. Sex. Penis. Penis. Penis. ******. ******. ******." We are way beyond the point as a society? That it is, "The Birds and the Bees." I am sure your pre-teen? Already knows way more than they are letting on. Social Media, YouTube, some sort of device in their hand? All day. Every day.
Hempseed 27
How can you expect him to be mature about it and take the conversation seriously if you're not even willing to use accurate terminology in front of him? If you feel you need to discuss reproductive health, protective methods and contraception with him; explain to him that you need to discuss reproductive health, protective methods and contraception with him.
peterblackmer91 12
Well there's your answer. No.