Today, I got a call from my husband asking me to bail him out from jail. He was arrested after being caught having sex with a waitress in a restaurant bathroom. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my husband was arrested for having sex in public. FML
Today, I got a call from my boyfriend saying he needed me to bail him out of jail. The crime? Masturbating in public. FML
Today, I had to bail my boyfriend out of jail. He got arrested because he was tugging his man-meat in the drive-thru at a McDonald's. FML
Today, my husband called me in the middle of the morning. He was in jail and wanted me to bail him out. Not only was he stupid enough to go drunk drag-racing with his buddies, their route took them straight past the front of the local police precinct. FML
Today, I got a call from my boyfriend. He was at the police station for breaking into a model home to hook up with the girl he's been cheating on me with for the past four months. I was his one phone call. He was expecting me to bail him out. FML
Today, I had to bail my ex-husband out of jail. He didn't want his new wife to get mad at him. FML
Today, my fiancé called me as I was clocking out. I thought he was going to tell me that he was waiting outside. Instead, he told me that he's getting arrested and needs me to call his mom for him. FML
Today, I got a phone call from my husband in jail. He was detained for statutory rape. The girl was his 15 year-old coworker at McDonald’s. He’s 42. I can’t tell which is worse, the fact that we have a daughter the same age, or that he actually wanted me to bail him out. FML
Today, I had to bail my drunk husband out of jail after he and his best friend tried to steal a police horse from an officer. FML
Today, my girlfriend called me to pick her up from jail. She'd been arrested for indecent exposure. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
the_real_dvd 21
I'm assuming you didn't bail him out.
SweetasCandy0609 28
I hope you didn't bail his sorry ass out let the waitress he was caught having sex with bail him out, I'm sorry your husband is a douche OP.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (183)
AgentPlatypus73 8
So you didn't bail him out, right?
Tmhunter3 6
thats illegal?
sexstorys 8
Don't bail him out
jlovesexycool 1
hell no. I would leave his stupid cheating ass in there.
deezzz11 6
I hope you used that bail money for a divorce lawyer!!
daemonsparta 16
and that's when you "lovingly" remind him not to drop the soap
FlutterLoud 29
I wouldn't bail him out, I'd leave him there.
fantasyworld 39
I hope you didn't.
coldasfire 23
Use the bail money for a divorce
CaptMacLeod 45
Not sure of the specific statute(s) he broke in North Carolina, but anything to the effect of "public indecency" or "indecent exposure" (most likely from someone walking in) means one BIG thing in the US; if convicted, he (and she) are now REGISTERED SEX OFFENDERS. Is your home inside the minimum distance from any local schools? Legally speaking, he may never be able to return to that house. Not to mention all the nice "notify the neighbors" and follow up visits from the local constabulary. He had no idea how much he was going to get ****** that morning...