Caught

Today, my husband was arrested for having sex in public. FML

Smooth criminal

Today, I got a call from my boyfriend saying he needed me to bail him out of jail. The crime? Masturbating in public. FML

Horndog

Today, I had to bail my boyfriend out of jail. He got arrested because he was tugging his man-meat in the drive-thru at a McDonald's. FML

Today, my husband called me in the middle of the morning. He was in jail and wanted me to bail him out. Not only was he stupid enough to go drunk drag-racing with his buddies, their route took them straight past the front of the local police precinct. FML

The nerve of some people

Today, I got a call from my boyfriend. He was at the police station for breaking into a model home to hook up with the girl he's been cheating on me with for the past four months. I was his one phone call. He was expecting me to bail him out. FML

Jailbird

Today, I had to bail my ex-husband out of jail. He didn't want his new wife to get mad at him. FML

Bad boys bad boys

Today, my fiancé called me as I was clocking out. I thought he was going to tell me that he was waiting outside. Instead, he told me that he's getting arrested and needs me to call his mom for him. FML

Divorce impending

Today, I got a phone call from my husband in jail. He was detained for statutory rape. The girl was his 15 year-old coworker at McDonald’s. He’s 42. I can’t tell which is worse, the fact that we have a daughter the same age, or that he actually wanted me to bail him out. FML

Today, I had to bail my drunk husband out of jail after he and his best friend tried to steal a police horse from an officer. FML

Whatcha do when they come for you?

Today, my girlfriend called me to pick her up from jail. She'd been arrested for indecent exposure. FML