Today, it was my wedding. Every good wedding has slutty wedding sex, and I thought it would be over after my cousin and his girlfriend were caught in the parking lot. I was wrong, the sluttiest wedding sex goes to my drunk husband and my sister in the coat room. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went to my fiance's cousin's wedding with him. I got drunk and danced like a stripper in front of his entire extended family, who I'd just met that day. FML
Today, my fiancé got drunk at our wedding reception and announced to his and my family what we do in bed. And it was pretty detailed. FML
Today, I found my two best friends making out with each other. Not a big deal, right? Wrong. Today was my wedding day. One of the friends was my maid of honor, the other was my groom. FML
Today, during my wedding ceremony, the groom-to-be found it appropriate to blurt out about an ongoing affair with my maid of honor. They got married instead. FML
Today, I caught my soon to be husband screwing our wedding planner. FML
Today, as I kissed my husband after our wedding vows, my mother-in-law muttered "Slut." loudly from the front row. Everyone heard her, but kept smiling and pretended to be oblivious. FML
Today, was my wedding. After eating, I had an urge to fart. I let one rip just before my husband and I were called to do the garter dance. He seductively tried to use his teeth to remove the garter and came out from under my dress dry heaving. I dutch ovened my husband in front of everyone. FML
Today, it was my wedding, and I live in a country that doesn't take premarital sex lightly. My wife chose the last girl I slept with to be her main bridesmaid. She doesn't know. FML
Today, I gave a toast at my close friend's wedding. The bride's little cousin snuck up behind me and unzipped my dress. As I ended my speech with, "To a night we will never forget!", my dress fell all the way down. I was quick. People's phones were quicker. Well, they won't forget my undies. FML
Today, I found out the best man at my wedding was banging my wife after years of being married. My best man was my brother. FML
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Top comments
audreyfml1994 15
It's not too late to get it annulled.
Welshite 40
This story ended much differently than how I thought it would. You don't have to stay with someone who will disrespect you like that.
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Comments (221)
audreyfml1994 15
It's not too late to get it annulled.
cinderburner23 5
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
You sound like a sex crazed loser, OP. YDI
sanngx 6
Wtf? Work on your reading comprehension
Wizardo 34
"If you ain't no punk, holla we want pre-nup!"
xx000o 27
Weak possibility; Maybe he was so drunk he got you and the sister confused. Na, didn't think so. Get rid of the bastard, this won't be the first or the last time.
CallMeMcFeelii 14
And you sound like someone who needs to get laid, 13.
cinderburner23 5
58- Nope, I just sound like someone who realizes there is more to a relationship than sex. It's ok if you don't understand that, though.
gracehi 33
62, Not sure if trolling, or just stupid...
SlayingCry 1
OP sounds like a sex crazed freak. YDI.
feelingold 18
the old cloakroom trick? wow, I'd be doubly annoyed at the sheer lack of originality.
chowE_fml 4
No sex in the champagne , I mean coat, room.. That sucks I mean especially since weddings are so expensive. Tell that 2-dollar ***** of a sister to help you pay for the wedding which she decided to **** you over on.
fareith 15
You scream divorce, while others scream three way... Which will OP choose?
chosha_fml 27
This particular three way would be incestuous. Gross.
patrickalamo 48
Jerry Jerry!!!
Elendil_fml 10
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
It's never gross is its girl on girl. Actually, it's hotter if they're sisters.
dakatabg 31
I would do it
uhmaizing 3
A far better option is to wait for to finalize, then file for divorce.
JaneChemi_fml 21
well 148 if you're into that....
MeLoveCats 7
so sorry OP! you don't deserve that on your happy day. something tells me they've been hooking up before considering they were hiding in the coat room, drunk or not. for your next wedding, don't invite your sister. in fact, i'd be surprised if you talk to her again.
VancouverGuy89 9
I hear banjos
R00ST3R 12
Hey, some of us have pump actions!
Metallica36176 16
I automatically assumed that it was her husband and her sister....but it doesn't specify. After I read it a second time I got her husband and his sister. Anyone want to help clarify? Maybe I'm just sick in the head but the wording...
elevyn 16
"my drunk husband and sister" kind of insinuates it's her husband and her sister. If it was his sister it would say 'my drunk husband and his sister'. #173 beat me to it :(
myalterego2 8
O.P.'s husband and sister sure had "pump action"
ohjoy15 33
@#167 You can think of it like this: 1) "My tea and crumpets" 2) "My (drunk husband) and (sister)" The hypothetical speaker of the first sentence is trying to say the same thing as "my tea and my crumpets" right? The same goes for the second sentence which is in the FML. It's OP's sister.
GrammarNazis 6
Wait, did the incident occur before or after the ceremony? I assume yes, in which case make it a one day marriage.
truesarrif 33
hello grammar Nazi I'm context nazi and your "yes" answer does not fit the context of your original question .
mduerden 18
Is the op answering yes to both questions? Lol
Catkam623 27
Oh god a new type of nazi like the grammar ones weren't bad enough...
GoodLookingGeese 10
They evolve or mutate..
ilovedinosawers 17
Yes.
laurennnlovelyyy 4
Well considering the fml says 'husband'...
Welshite 40
This story ended much differently than how I thought it would. You don't have to stay with someone who will disrespect you like that.
lambda_fml 40
One would understand if OP and her sister were twins and the drunk husband took her for his wife.
Cardiffian 5
Except for the fact that OP would have been wearing a wedding dress????
bombroot 9
... That's horrible fyl OP
akg98 13
PLEASE tell me that people often mix her and her sister up and her husband could not tell
MrTaeKwonDo 6
She's wearing a wedding dress. how do you **** that up?
asapp78 16
There's no forgiveness in that! Get it annulled and get out of that relationship. Find someone who respects you honey.
larsak 3
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Did you push her off and tried sexing it up with your boyfriend? Show him you're better hon.
larsak 3
*husband
challan 19
why would she want him after he slept with her sister?
larsak 3
Because that's her husband.
golden_warrior 23
8, you are an idiot. With your logic then only **** stars can keep their husband. She doesn't have to prove that she is better. Divorce that douche of a husband and lay the smack down on your sister.
Wealthyparrot 9
Not anymore.
larsak 3
#36 they're married! Getting a divorce over infidelity is not a reason to divorce. It just means she needs to be better at sex to make it work or else he would look elsewhere.
AH1Zviper 15
Where the hell do you live where infidelity is even remotely acceptable?
AH1Zviper 15
Where the hell do you live where infidelity is even remotely acceptable?
larsak 3
#57 Im raised to not believe in divorce. You're supposed to be with your partner through ALL the crazy ups and downs no matter what.
williamcarter93 13
larsak, you're ******* stupid. You think divorce should never happen? Well what if the person you were with beat you, raped your kid, all manner of sick things; you would still stay with them? Someone is going to use you one day
MrConcise 35
Edit: Comment I replied to got removed.
mybarra6 17
Larsak you're an idiot, just stop talking already.
AH1Zviper 15
So was I. But adultery is out of the question. Fights, children and what not is not a reason to divorce. If OP continues to be this douches wife, then he will continue to cheat. Your logic on marriage is very flawed.
BVBarmy_girl 22
I don't think it's alright to consummate your marriage with your wifes sister... But that's just my opinion :3
moniquita89 8
Wow!! You need a divorce ASAP
Grand_Cookie 21
Is there something in the water up there? Damn.