Today, it was my wedding. Every good wedding has slutty wedding sex, and I thought it would be over after my cousin and his girlfriend were caught in the parking lot. I was wrong, the sluttiest wedding sex goes to my drunk husband and my sister in the coat room. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to my fiance's cousin's wedding with him. I got drunk and danced like a stripper in front of his entire extended family, who I'd just met that day. FML
Today, my fiancé got drunk at our wedding reception and announced to his and my family what we do in bed. And it was pretty detailed. FML
Today, I found my two best friends making out with each other. Not a big deal, right? Wrong. Today was my wedding day. One of the friends was my maid of honor, the other was my groom. FML
Today, during my wedding ceremony, the groom-to-be found it appropriate to blurt out about an ongoing affair with my maid of honor. They got married instead. FML
Today, I caught my soon to be husband screwing our wedding planner. FML
Today, as I kissed my husband after our wedding vows, my mother-in-law muttered "Slut." loudly from the front row. Everyone heard her, but kept smiling and pretended to be oblivious. FML
Today, was my wedding. After eating, I had an urge to fart. I let one rip just before my husband and I were called to do the garter dance. He seductively tried to use his teeth to remove the garter and came out from under my dress dry heaving. I dutch ovened my husband in front of everyone. FML
Today, it was my wedding, and I live in a country that doesn't take premarital sex lightly. My wife chose the last girl I slept with to be her main bridesmaid. She doesn't know. FML
Today, I gave a toast at my close friend's wedding. The bride's little cousin snuck up behind me and unzipped my dress. As I ended my speech with, "To a night we will never forget!", my dress fell all the way down. I was quick. People's phones were quicker. Well, they won't forget my undies. FML
Today, I found out the best man at my wedding was banging my wife after years of being married. My best man was my brother. FML
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Top comments
audreyfml1994 15
It's not too late to get it annulled.
Welshite 40
This story ended much differently than how I thought it would. You don't have to stay with someone who will disrespect you like that.
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Comments (221)
friedchickenpie 14
Well, you did ask for slutty wedding sex. Careful what you wish for! In all seriousness, that's terrible.
martin_martian7 11
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Blame it on the aaaaalcohol
hannahsnyder69 16
Awolnation reference?
cmayer 20
#180- no.
stevothedevo 25
#15 you missed an 'A'
beddington 7
This will always be a stain on the memory of your big day. I'm usually opposed to the "leave them" comments, but in this case it is the only reasonable response.
SWC_Penguin 17
Is she an identical twin and wore a white dress too? That's about the only way I can see this not being his fault.
migmit 11
Wow, great minds think alike
GoodLookingGeese 10
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Or you're both fools. Just considering an option..
_GoodGuy 11
Why is your husband drunk on the day of your wedding? FYL OP
SMHsohard 22
Because he wanted a handy excuse in case he got caught boinking his sister-in-law?
Orchard 33
Ah, yes, the "Preemptive-I-Was-Caught-Boinking-Your-Sister-In-A-Closet-But-I'm-Drunk" maneuver. Often underplayed, but at times surprisingly effective for the hopelessly in-love female who doesn't want to lose her man at any cost. I hope the OP can evade this technique.
Metallica36176 16
#18- I'm not being a smartass but in all honesty, does that really come as a shock to you? At a celebration where alcohol is served? Not to mention if he had a bachelor party the night before with the possibility of still being drunk? I mean, I know certain people don't have that, but I've actually gotten used to seeing at least 1-3 drunks at every wedding.
Kiki242 19
Your sister is the epitome of a backstabbing bitch.
xundria 5
More like the husband was backstabbing that bitch. ;)
HooyoMacaan 7
That is beyond ****** up. Your own sister out of all people and your wedding day? Sorry OP but hopefully you beat the shit out of both of em.
Metallica36176 16
Exactly. I would also get the marriage annulled, and try to get some money back from that day. That's some serious bullshit coming from the man who supposedly loves her (alcohol or not, that's a bullshit excuse), and sister...someone that's supposed to always have your back. WTF is wrong with people?
Orchard 33
In all seriousness, why do some men even bother going to the trouble of being in a relationship, giving a proposal, buying the ring, and paying/help pay for a ceremony if they really want to cheat the whole time anyway? Wouldn't it be more cost effective for them to not string a poor woman along, like the OP, and leave her poor heart alone in the process? FYL OP, so sorry. There's no way, no matter how drunk, he did not know that was your sister. And more than that, your sister was just as ******* evil. If I were you, I would cut her out of your life.
SirTalkaton 22
Like literally, CUT her out.
SweetasCandy0609 28
get your marriage annulled and then find someone who really loves you and at your next marriage don't invite your sister.
Metallica36176 16
Yeah I definitely wouldn't trust my sister (if I had one) after that, no matter what. I believe that some sisters are just jealous ***** who want what the other has just to proove that they can (or are better in a ****** up way), and for attention.
little_one 20
For the record my sister refrained from boinking my husband on our wedding night it was a close call but the evil bitch left him alone! (I'm just kidding I have the best sister in the world!!!)
meherm 11
Or talk to her ever again!
SirTalkaton 22
Invite him to the Bates Motel for your honeymoon!