Today, it was my wedding. Every good wedding has slutty wedding sex, and I thought it would be over after my cousin and his girlfriend were caught in the parking lot. I was wrong, the sluttiest wedding sex goes to my drunk husband and my sister in the coat room. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went to my fiance's cousin's wedding with him. I got drunk and danced like a stripper in front of his entire extended family, who I'd just met that day. FML
Today, my fiancé got drunk at our wedding reception and announced to his and my family what we do in bed. And it was pretty detailed. FML
Today, I found my two best friends making out with each other. Not a big deal, right? Wrong. Today was my wedding day. One of the friends was my maid of honor, the other was my groom. FML
Today, during my wedding ceremony, the groom-to-be found it appropriate to blurt out about an ongoing affair with my maid of honor. They got married instead. FML
Today, I caught my soon to be husband screwing our wedding planner. FML
Today, as I kissed my husband after our wedding vows, my mother-in-law muttered "Slut." loudly from the front row. Everyone heard her, but kept smiling and pretended to be oblivious. FML
Today, was my wedding. After eating, I had an urge to fart. I let one rip just before my husband and I were called to do the garter dance. He seductively tried to use his teeth to remove the garter and came out from under my dress dry heaving. I dutch ovened my husband in front of everyone. FML
Today, it was my wedding, and I live in a country that doesn't take premarital sex lightly. My wife chose the last girl I slept with to be her main bridesmaid. She doesn't know. FML
Today, I gave a toast at my close friend's wedding. The bride's little cousin snuck up behind me and unzipped my dress. As I ended my speech with, "To a night we will never forget!", my dress fell all the way down. I was quick. People's phones were quicker. Well, they won't forget my undies. FML
Today, I found out the best man at my wedding was banging my wife after years of being married. My best man was my brother. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
audreyfml1994 15
It's not too late to get it annulled.
Welshite 40
This story ended much differently than how I thought it would. You don't have to stay with someone who will disrespect you like that.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (221)
SuzyTurquoiseBlu 25
You know, you make a very good point.
sweetcatastroph3 9
are you really THAT stupid or are you just stupid? either way, you're stupid.
jem970 19
You are an asshole. She totally deserved it for expecting people to hav sex, oh yes! Great logic! You are an idiot.
MrConcise 35
I find it weird that two recent replies on this thread reiterated what I said despite me being buried three times. Teehee.
deaper 16
There's no option for I agree your sister sucks! (In more ways than one in this case!)
funsizedbecka 9
Hopefully you beat the crap out of both of them!
asheka 4
I hope you kicked both of their asses. at least you found out he was trash instead of 20 years down the road.
BlindHunta 5
I would make a witty comeback, but what the ****???
Kiwimaid 9
If you have a shred of self respect, you will annul. Shame you can't divorce your sister too.
ellenjasmin 18
It always blows my mind how some people (the "husband") can treat marriage like a joke. What happened to spending the rest of your life with someone you love?
illegalbeagle69 23
I hope he didn't expect her to stay with him